


Allowance to Love

by vasande88



Series: Visa to Love [2]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Drama, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drama, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, POV Female Character, POV Third Person, Photography, Visa to Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-12 21:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 82,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20571173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vasande88/pseuds/vasande88
Summary: This is the second part of VISA TO LOVE."The previous months had been very challenging for both women. The gift that had been Rindy becoming part of their lives permanently hadn’t only brought so much happiness to them but also struggles and changes. One of the things that had changed the most had been morning time. Before Rindy, Carol would get up early and ready herself while Therese stayed in bed. It was a quiet time for both of them. Now with Rindy, mornings became more rushed and busy."Now that Therese is a legal permanent resident in the US, she’ll have to face new challenges: from family to work, she’ll have to learn how to navigate in this new chapter in her life.





	1. Chapter 1

The morning sun made its way through the white curtains that were swaying gently. The half opened window let in the early summer breeze, together with the sound of the outside world. Therese opened her eyes slowly, blinking a couple of times to let her eyes adjust to the incoming light. She looked to her right and found Carol sleeping with her back towards her. Therese could tell by the sound of Carol’s heavy breathing that she was still asleep. 

The previous months had been very challenging for both women. The gift that had been Rindy becoming part of their lives permanently hadn’t only brought so much happiness to them but also struggles and changes. One of the things that had changed the most had been morning time. Before Rindy, Carol would get up early and ready herself while Therese stayed in bed. It was a quiet time for both of them. Now with Rindy, mornings became more rushed and busy. Since the school where Rindy went to was located on the other side of the city, far away from their home and closer to where Harge and Rindy used to live, both Carol and Therese now had to get up earlier in order to get Rindy ready on time. Therese would help get breakfast and Rindy ready while Carol got ready herself. 

Therese enjoyed waking up Rindy each morning even though the girl could be a little difficult in the early hours. It reminded Therese of when she was Rindy’s age and also had the hardest time to get out of bed. The fact that Rindy wore a uniform to school made it ten times easier for Therese since she didn’t have to plan an outfit each day. Breakfast was simple and quick: fresh coffee and toast for Carol and a bowl of cereal and fruit for Rindy. Therese would find herself more often than not standing against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in hand, staring at her two girls interact with each other across from her, and thinking how lucky she was to have such a beautiful family. Carol would just look back at her and smile. And just like that, Carol would start rushing Rindy to get her things to leave for school. Therese would be left to the silence and loneliness of the apartment. 

During the winter Carol had encouraged Therese to learn how to drive and get her license. Carol had even tried to teach Therese herself a couple of times but after almost crashing her car Therese had thought best to get private lessons. She signed up for driving lessons at an academy and after a couple of weeks she successfully got her license. WIth her new permit in hand came the task to find a car for herself since Carol needed hers to drive Rindy and herself in the mornings. The car situation led to some discussions between them since Carol just wanted to give Therese a new car as a present for all her hard work but Therese felt that Carol was always paying for everything making Therese feel more guilty for not having a stable income. Therese could be very stubborn sometimes so she was firm when she decided to spend what she had left of her father’s money on a used [2007 Honda Civic](https://s.aolcdn.com/dims-global/dims3/GLOB/legacy_thumbnail/788x525/quality/85/https://s.aolcdn.com/commerce/autodata/images/CAB70HOC021D0101.jpg). Although at first Therese felt bad for spending the last of her savings on a car, she knew she would be actually helping Carol with picking up Rindy in the afternoons. The car gave her a much needed sense of freedom since she no longer depended on Carol or a taxi to go places, and despite it not being as fancy as Carol’s, she liked the idea that the car had a history attached to it. Therese would often wonder where it had gone, which cities it had taken its previous owners, and the conversations it had been part of. Therese was surprised to find herself actually enjoying driving.

This had been their hectic routine for months. Now it was finally the first week of summer break, their first Monday without having to worry about school or work since Carol had managed to get some weeks off as well. Therese turned around in bed and moved closer to Carol until her chest came in contact with Carol’s back and her nose with the back of her neck. Carol’s hair had gotten significantly longer so now it was a little harder for Therese to access her second favorite place, after Carol’s chest. She loved to inhale Carol’s natural perfume in the morning with the warmth of their bed. Therese moved her hand underneath Carol’s oversized t-shirt and placed it on her stomach to feel the rhythm of her breathing against it. Therese wished she could spend hours lying in bed just like that but Carol would always wake up shortly after. Therese heard the change in Carol’s breathing and a small yawn coming out of the blonde.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you, angel. What time is it?” asked Carol without opening her eyes.

Therese raised her head a little to check the clock on Carol’s nightstand. It was 9:25 AM. 

“It’s almost half past nine on a Monday. Happy summer break,” Therese giggled. 

“Oh, this is divine. Let’s stay like this a little longer,” said Carol as she grabbed Therese’s hand and nestled it between hers at her chest. 

Therese waited a few minutes before she started to place kisses on Carol’s neck, especially on the most sensitive parts near her ear. This caused Carol to start tickling. Therese couldn’t hold back a smile.

“For Christ's sake, can't two people lay in bed in peace?" announced Carol in an annoyed tone.

“What are you going to do about it?” replied Therese playfully.

She got up on one elbow and watched as Carol turned on her back and looked up to her with a smirk on her face.

“I’m going to start by taking what’s lawfully mine,” she said before she placed a hand behind Therese’s head to bring her closer to her lips. 

They kissed tenderly at first but the kiss soon became more passionate. Therese desperately needed to feel Carol’s soft and warm skin against hers. One of the changes Therese had hated the most was both having to go fully clothed to bed in case Rindy surprised them in bed at night or in the morning. Rindy was usually a good sleeper throughout the night but a couple of times during her first weeks at her new home she’d get up in the middle of the night and sneak in between Carol and Therese. Neither of the two women wanted to risk an uncomfortable situation so clothes were kept on. 

With her free hand she let her fingers travel again underneath Carol’s t-shirt until they came in contact with one of her breasts which she started to massage. Carol let out a moan into Therese’s mouth.

“Darling...Rindy...next room,” whispered Carol. She could barely make a complete sentence.

“She’s probably still asleep...and the door is closed.”

Therese resumed her passionate kiss while she continued to massage Carol’s breast. She then let her fingers make her way back down caressing Carol’s curves. Therese had noticed that since she had started cooking, Carol had gained a little more weight during the winter. Therese just loved having more skin to kiss and hold to. One time during dinner Carol had teased Therese by saying that she wanted to stuff her like a turkey and eat her on Thanksgiving to which Therese had replied _ I always want to eat you. _ Carol’s cheeks went slightly red after the comment and she just continued to eat without saying another word.

Just when Therese’s hand was finally approaching its final destination, the crack of the door and Rindy’s quiet voice interrupted her. 

“Mommy...are you awake?” she asked through the half open bedroom door.

Both women gave a jump and tried quickly to catch their breaths.

“Yes sunshine, we are. Come in,” said Carol as she sat up and fixed her hair. She looked at Therese and whispered _ I told you so _. Therese blushed.

Privacy was another thing that both Carol and Therese had found themselves compromising since Rindy had arrived. Therese had entered Carol’s life during the time Rindy lived with Harge for most of the time, therefore finding time to be together alone hadn’t been a problem for both women. Those weekends in which Rindy would stay with them were sort of a refresh because it would spark the flame of passion and make the two of them look forward to their next alone time with extra excitement. But now Randy was part of their everyday life, changing the dynamic and making it more difficult to find moments to love each other freely as they used to do. That's when Abby and Crystal would come in to save them. They would pick up Rindy on a Friday afternoon and take her to the beach house for the weekend. These were all challenges that Therese was well aware came with having a family. She adored having Rindy around and being her mother, but she also missed having Carol all to herself without worries; she knew the key was in finding the balance.

After she got the green light, Rindy entered the room and run towards the end of the bed with a big smile. She jumped in and crawled until she reached the space in the middle of both women and laid down. Carol started to kiss all over Rindy’s face making the little one giggle. 

Therese just looked at them with a dimple smile on her face. She had never seen Carol this happy before. Having Rindy fully back in her life, and no more stressing about short visits or scheduled visits had really transformed Carol into this whole new being full of sheer happiness. Carol loved being a mother and Therese could tell. During her alone times she would often think about their future as a family now that they were finally settled as one. They had already talked about having more kids early on in their relationship and both women had agreed on the option of adopting. After a year, Therese still didn’t see herself carrying a child herself and she wondered if she would ever feel ready for it. But at the same time the idea of adopting felt more close to her heart since being an orphan herself, she felt like it would mean a lot more to give a homeless child a chance to have a family like she did. Therese also thought about the different options: _ should we adopt a girl or a boy? What would be easier: a newborn, a toddler or a kid? _ But mostly she’d asked herself: _ When would be the right time? _

Therese had been struggling very hard for the past months to get a steady job but so far she had only managed to get freelance jobs as a photographer at weddings or birthday parties. Most of them were thanks to Abby who apparently knew a lot of wealthy families on the East coast with enough to spend on a photographer. Although Therese felt proud for being able to capture those important moments in somebody’s life such as a wedding, she knew this wasn’t really her true passion. Besides the pay wasn’t really worth all the stress and worry she’d go through when being around a bride’s family or a kid’s parents at a birthday party. Therese soon learned how cruel and evil suburban soccer moms could be. Carol would always laugh hard at Therese’s description of these heart cold moms: they were so bossy, always telling Therese what to do as if she wasn’t professional enough for the task. They’d also decide on the best angle and light and although Therese knew that the result of those pictures would be far from good, she’d still follow the mother’s direction. This would require a lot of time while editing the pictures later and again, the money wasn’t worth it. Therese was now doing some editing jobs for some publishing companies she had found online. Therese didn’t enjoy not being able to take the pictures, but they weren’t bad to begin with plus the money was slightly better and she could work from home. She also continued to take pictures to keep working on her portfolio which had received more “nos” than “yeses”. Despite the rejection, Therese didn’t let it affect her so she kept trying harder. Dannie had also suggested to get her work on another platform such as social media in order to reach more eyes. He helped her create an Instagram account, or in his own words “an online portfolio” in order to upload her pictures; he even gave her a class on the important use of hashtags and following other key accounts related to photography. She had been happily surprised to come across Richard’s own profile account displaying some of his works which she really liked. On the other hand, Therese had been shocked when she had found out that Carol had a “secret” Instagram account when she had started following her. Therese had never been good with technology or social media (if it wasn’t for Dannie she would still be living under a rock) or really interested in it so she never cared to ask Carol if she was part of this online world. Therese’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the pictures Carol had shared of them: there was their proposal one with a caption saying “the night she said yes”; a couple of ones Therese had taken herself, and there was this one picture of their laced hands wearing their wedding rings captioned with “I thank the stars for sending me an angel to love and care for as long as I shall live”, and it was followed by a longer text full of Carol’s love for her. None of the pictures with Therese in them showed her face in full display which made her realise how caring and protective Carol had been with her image since she hadn’t asked for Therese’s permission. Therese couldn’t help getting emotional while staring at all these images and words and realising how Carol had been proudly sharing their love story with the rest of the world. Later that day, Therese scanned one of the pictures with Carol, Rindy and herself in it and sent it to Carol with a short text saying “looking forward to giving it a like” to which Carol replied with the most heartwarming post about family and life Therese had ever read:

_ For the longest time I believed that families came in one form, that is: a mother, a father, and a child fruit of that bond. And for the longest time I also believed that as a mother I had to sacrifice my own happiness for the wellbeing of my family. But life has shown me how wrong I had been to believe all these things and it gave me if not the hardest lesson by taking all these safety nets from me and leaving me with my own self. I honestly thought I’d never know happiness or love again until I met the most beautiful angel. The very first time I saw you I knew life had given me a second chance. Marrying you was the most precious gift; a gift I never thought I’d wish for so badly. I am so proud to have you as a partner and together with Rindy become the family I never thought I deserved. _

“Mom…!” said Rindy, shaking Therese’s arm.

“What? I’m sorry…” replied Therese focusing on Rindy again.

“What were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about...how you look more like your beautiful mother with each day that passes,” said Therese as she caressed the young girl’s face.

“You think so?” asked Rindy with a smile.

“I do. And you’re going to be as strong, and kind, and smart like her one day,” said Therese looking back to Carol who was clearly trying to hold back her tears. 

“And tall?”

“Yes, you certainly will!” 

  


Rindy had turned 7 years old last spring and to Carol’s own surprise she was starting to take more after herself than her father despite her darker eyes and hair. She had also grown a couple of inches making her one of the tallest girls in her class; and her personality had also taken a stretch. During her short visits, Rindy had appeared as rather shy and contained maybe because she didn’t feel quite at home despite Carol’s efforts, but now Rindy was in her full element. All the art and photographs around the house had definitely sparked Rindy’s own creativity and she was already showing promising skills in painting. Carol had even gotten her a small easel for her to work and a couple of her colorful art were already hanging on the walls. Although Therese had tried to get Rindy interested in taking pictures, she had shown more interest in the revealing process. Therese would sometimes let Rindy be with her in the darkroom and explain to her the chemical process involved. 

Ever since the day that Harge got arrested, Rindy hadn’t mentioned him again. At first Carol and Therese thought that it could be due to the shock and distress caused by the situation she went through. They worried about Rindy having some kind of trauma so they searched for a specialist. It turned out that Rindy was just fine and she was more aware of the situation concerning her father than both Carol and Therese had imagined; she understood not only what her father had done but also the sadness he had caused to Carol for keeping her away. Rindy had even told the doctor that she was so happy and excited to be under the care and love of her two mothers who were always there for her, unlike her father who would always find reasons to be away from home. 

This news had brought such a relief to both women that they decided to throw Rindy a bigger birthday party than the previous year by taking Rindy and her friends to [Luna Park](https://lunaparknyc.com/attractions/) in Coney Island. Since none of Rindy’s friends were tall enough to make it into the attractions, they all went straight to the fun games available at the park: from the arcade to the classic ball throwing games. Therese had never been to one of these fair attraction parks in her life, let alone played one of their most popular games. Rindy had her eye on one big white bear that was set as a prize for a can pyramid smash. The player had to smash all 6 cans with two shots in order to get the prize. Therese really wanted to win if for her so despite her shyness she put herself in line and waited for her turn. One of the many things that photography had taught her was how to calculate distance in order to frame her shots; she also had good pulse. The first shot hadn’t been strong enough to hit all of the cans but she didn’t let her nerves get the best of her. The next shot hit 4 out of 6. Her confidence was growing. She tried for a second time and it was the charm: the second shot brought all the cans down. Carol, Rindy and her friends clapped at Therese’s accomplishment, and as the young kids were distracted by picking up the prize, Carol gave Therese a quick kiss on the lips and she whispered _ And that’s your prize. _

Rindy had received many great presents but one last special one was still waiting for her on their way back home Carol and Therese made one last stop at a pet shelter. Months ago Therese had promised herself to give Rindy her first pet after seeing that drawing she had made. After convincing and getting Carol’s approval, she knew the best time to do it was the kid’s birthday. At first Rindy didn’t understand why they were entering the place but as she saw the warm and encouraging smile on both parents she started to jump around with excitement. As they walked through the place and looked at the different dogs, Carol explained Rindy the importance of adopting as well as the huge responsibility that came with it. Carol also explained that they’d have to look for smaller dogs since they’d be a better fit for their apartment, and finally after much searching, the three of them fell in love with the same furry creature: a yellow [Cairn Terrier/Wheaten Terrier Mix](https://www.thesprucepets.com/thmb/adNtJBrPyolxsv7SwrNYswtcL2Q=/3191x2419/filters:no_upscale\(\):max_bytes\(150000\):strip_icc\(\)/Bigandt_Photography-9d036cfb268841be81b8789089170df7.jpg).

The laughter coming from the main bedroom had woken up the little fella. He got up from his bed in the living room and followed the voices. He reached Therese’s side of the bed and got up on his two rear legs and let out a bark to get her attention. He was six months old now and too small to climb up all by himself.

“Alright...come up here Milan,” said Therese as she leaned to her side and picked the pup up.

  


They had spent the whole evening after getting the dog trying to come up with a name for it. Carol and Therese were sitting on the floor with their backs against the couch while Rindy sat across from them with the puppy between them. Rindy wanted the name to be short, original and cute, just like the pup but her name options for “Jack”, “Buddy” or “Max” just felt too common. 

“I always liked the name Milan…” said Therese shyly while she held the puppy with both hands in front of her. “One of my father’s favorite authors was called like that, and I even named one of my teddy bears after him.” 

“It’s beautiful, love,” added Carol caressing the dog’s head.

“That’s it! That’s his name. MILAN!” 

“Are you sure Rindy? It’s your dog after all. I was just thinking aloud…”

“No! It’s perfect. It’s short, original and cute just like him. Plus I know it was your idea to get me a dog, so thank you mom,” said Rindy as she crawled her way to Therese and hugged her as tightly as she could without hurting the dog still in Therese’s hands. 

  


Therese placed a much heavier Milan on top of Rindy’s chest and left her hand on top of its soft back. The pup started to lick all over Rindy’s face making her giggle again. Therese had started to love that sound; a sound that only meant happiness, love and family. She started at Rindy and Milan with a wide smile for a few more seconds before she looked up to find Carol staring at her the same way with those deep blue eyes that always left her breathless. Therese wondered how this woman still managed to make her feel like that young, curious and shy girl in love with her all over again after all this time. And she knew for sure that she never wanted that feeling to go away. 


	2. Chapter 2

The world was just waking up with the first rays of sun piercing through the dark cloak of night. Milan had woken Therese up to go outside and pee on the grass pad they had gotten him. He had been doing a great job at it but timing was still a struggle. Therese led him quietly outside because she didn’t want to wake up the rest of the house. She had started to love the early hours of the morning when the world was still calm and quiet. 

“We can’t see, feel, or hear time, we can only see its effect on us and on things over the course of our lives.” 

Therese remembered that quote from Bill Nye as she sat down on one of the balcony chairs. She and Rindy would watch his videos together after school while they waited for Carol to come back home. Therese hadn’t gotten the same education as Rindy or Carol when she was a kid; she wasn’t very good at maths and/or any other science whatsoever. The school curriculum was so different in America which made it difficult for Therese to help Rindy with her school tasks. Therefore it was Carol that would always help Rindy with her homework before bed. Carol was so smart and had so much knowledge, not only in art but in anything else. Therese would lay down on the couch while Carol and Rindy gathered around the coffee table full with books and notebooks and she would just watch Carol explain Rindy a difficult maths problem with such patience and love. Therese wished she had had a teacher just like Carol, but at the same time she wondered if she would have been able to learn anything with those blue eyes looking at her...probably not. 

“Therese, I can’t concentrate if you keep looking at me like that,” said Carol while she looked down and pointed out a mistake to Rindy.

“Like what?” asked Therese with a grin on her face.

“You know...don’t try to get smart with me.” Carol looked up to her raising an eyebrow. 

“I am certainly not. You are always the smartest and most beautiful…”

“Therese…” said Carol trying to hold back a smile.

“OK, OK, I’ll leave you two girls alone.” Therese got up and made her around the table when Carol grabbed her by the wrist.

“Don’t ever leave me,” pleaded Carol as she pulled Therese in for a soft kiss. 

  
Therese also remembered how exactly one year ago she had been in an almost similar situation standing outside the balcony while Carol slept in bed after they had found each other again. The events leading to that moment had been a whirlwind with only her emotions being able to navigate her back to Carol again. Therese wondered how different her present would be if she hadn’t let her heart take over and lead her back to her love. She would be back in her country for sure; a land that no longer felt like home to her since it wouldn’t have Carol or Rindy in it. Would she still be a photographer? Probably not because it would remind her of Carol too much. What she was certain of was that she’d be just a ghost image of the person she once was with her heart forever anchored in America. 

Therese shook her head to diminish those thoughts of a life path that fortunately wasn’t part of her present or future.  _ ...We can only see its effect on us and on things over the course of our lives… _ Those words had become some sort of mantra to her. She looked down at her left hand and stared lovingly at the two circles around her finger that had changed her life completely.  _ Has it really been only a year…?  _ Therese asked herself as she played with the emerald ring that symbolizes one of her happiest moments when Carol had asked her to marry her. Time was indeed subjective for it felt like time had passed both fast and slow at the same time:  _ fast  _ because this first year of marriage had brought different challenges and exciting changes, and  _ slow  _ because every moment spent with Carol felt like they had been together in another time and space and it was just a matter of time itself to bring them together. They were just like particles in a Quantum entanglement where once they are bound together and then flung across the immensity of space they’ll always find a way back together. 

Time simply stopped every time they kissed but time also stopped in a different way when she wasn’t around Carol. Those months they had been apart without contact had been excruciating for Therese; a period in her life that can only be described as a black hole in which time ceased to exist. Minutes, hours, days, weeks had simply merged into one big ball of emptiness that couldn’t be told apart. But everything changed the moment Carol stepped back into her life and literally filled every second of every minute, of every hour with love and happiness to the point that Therese thought time just wasn’t enough to hold all of it.

  
  


The feeling of small teeth around her ankle brought Therese back to earth. She looked down at Milan who was rolling on his back asking for attention. She bent down to scratch his round puppy belly that she couldn’t get enough of. She picked him up under one arm and together they walked back inside the apartment before she placed him down next to his food bowl and filled it a little for him. Therese continued her walk to the bedroom. She got back in bed and laid on one side to look directly at the beautiful woman sleeping in front of her.

“Where did you go?” asked Carol with her eyes still closed. 

“Outside. Milan needed to use the bathroom,” replied Therese as she gently pushed back a few blonde strands from Carol’s face. 

Carol didn't move or say another word for a few minutes and just when Therese thought Carol had gone back to sleep she suddenly fluttered her eyes open.

“Happy anniversary, my angel,” she said with a raspy voice as she caressed Therese’s cheek.

“Happy anniversary, Carol,” answered Therese, barely able to hold the butterflies in her stomach.

“I can’t believe it’s only been a year of waking up next to these beautiful eyes…” she said as she traced her thumb around Therese’s left eye, “...and this beautiful nose…” she continued as she slid her index through the bridge of her nose, “...and these beautiful and sweet lips…” and Carol finally traced her thumb through Therese’s upper lip first and then her lower one.

Therese held her breath as she felt Carol’s thumb dangerously dancing around her mouth. She desperately wanted to suck it between her lips but she knew that if she let her desire take over there was no coming back. She grabbed Carol’s hand by the wrist and gave her fingers a quick kiss before she put it back where it had come from.

“Don’t start something you can’t continue.”

“I wasn’t…”

“Tonight. I promise that tonight will be ours.”

* * *

A couple of weeks ago Carol had told Therese that she wouldn’t be home for their wedding anniversary because she had to travel for work. Therese couldn't help feeling disappointed since she wanted to spend their special day together but she tried to suck it up since she didn't want to make Carol feel more guilty for ruining their day. Instead, she planned a special celebration for the proposal anniversary. She had arranged with Abby and Crystal to take Rindy and Milan with them for the day, and Rindy always loved spending time with them. Since Therese didn’t have much money left she couldn't afford a fancy dinner date so instead she looked up for inexpensive anniversary ideas to treat Carol. She even called Dannie to help her and he came up with the wonderful idea to go watch a movie outdoors. He told her about “[Movies With A View](https://www.brooklynbridgepark.org/event-series/movies-with-a-view)” taking place at Brooklyn Bridge Park which was very near the restaurant Carol had taken her to propose. It was perfect. Therese looked up and found out that there was food and music happening before the screening of the movie, and based on the schedule online it was going to be "The English Patient" that night. Therese knew that it wasn’t the dinner night she wished but the idea of watching a romantic movie under the stars next to Carol made her smile from ear to ear. 

Carol was helping Rindy pack the last things in her bag when the doorbell rang. Therese went to get the door with Milan’s little footsteps following her. 

“Hi Abby!”

“Hi, Therese,” said Abby as she greeted Therese with a warm hug. 

Milan also wanted to be part of the greeting so he let out a small bark.

“Hello to you too, Mister!” Abby bent down and picked him up.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be trouble?”

“It’s fine, Therese. I had dogs growing up you know,” she said with a smile. 

“ABBY!” yelled Rindy as she ran to greet her godmother.

“How’s my favorite girl?”

“Good! Mom and Mommy have a date tonight.”

“I know. Do you know where they are going?”

“Yes, but I’m not going to say anything because it’s a surprise!”

“So  _ you  _ know…” uttered Carol as she walked in the room carrying Rindy’s bag.

“Yes...but I’m not going to tell you. Mommy asked me to keep it a secret,” she answered as she shared a conspiratorial look with Therese.

“These two...they are going to be the end of me. Can I least know what I should wear tonight?” asked Carol standing next to Therese.

“Something comfortable...we’re going to be laying down.”

“Well, that sounds very interesting. Let’s get going Rin so these two here can start to party,” said Abby as she gave both women a wink. 

Therese was waiting for Carol on the couch where she scrolled through her phone. She was wearing a [long summer skirt with a crop top](https://cdn2.stylecraze.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/17.-Crop-Top-With-A-Maxi-Skirt.jpg) and sandals. The sun was still up and the weather was still warm but she had packed in her car an extra blanket, together with cushions just in case. Finally, she heard footsteps approaching followed by the sweet smell of that perfume she loved so much. She looked up to see Carol looking breathtaking as ever in a [pair of jeans and a tucked white shirt](http://fashiongum.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/white-button-down-shirt-and-blue-jeans.jpg). She had added some gold jewelry and had unbuttoned the top leaving a very provocative cleavage to view. 

“I don’t know if this is OK, I can go back and change. I think these jeans don't fit me well…”

“Carol! You look absolutely breathtaking.” Therese got up and walked towards Carol until she stood in front of her. “And I love how these jeans look on you...especially around here,” said Therese as she grabbed Carol’s buttcheeks with both hands. “Now let’s go.”

Therese took her car to drive them to Brooklyn Bridge Park. It felt strange to Therese to be the one driving them to a date in comparison to one year ago where Carol had picked her up. When they were approaching the place she turned around to see a smile starting to form on Carol’s face but she didn’t utter a word. Once they parked, Therese asked Carol to help her carry the blankets and cushions. They were able to find a good spot on the ground near the [huge white screen](https://thumbor.forbes.com/thumbor/960x0/https%3A%2F%2Fblogs-images.forbes.com%2Frisasarachan%2Ffiles%2F2019%2F06%2FPhoto-Credit-Etienne-Frossard-MWAV-6.jpg). There were already lots of people enjoying the food and music around them. Together they laid out one of the blankets on the grass and they sat down next to each other, looking at the beautiful view of the city in front of them. 

“Do you like it?” asked Therese shyly without looking at Carol. “I’m sorry for not being able to take you somewhere fa-...”

“Therese, stop!” said Carol turning her head around. She placed one hand around Therese’s face to make her look at her. “This is beautiful. I never had a date like this in my life. All I need to be happy is right here in front of me.”

“I love you, Carol.”

“And I love you more than words can describe. Now, let me go get us something to eat and drink.”

“But I...”

“Shhh…,” insisted Carol as she placed her index across Therese’s lips. 

Therese watched her stand up and walk towards the food trucks a few feet away from where they were. She took advantage of this short moment alone and took her camera out to snap some pictures of the city landscape in front of her with the day coming closer to its end. Some shots later, Therese turned to her left and saw Carol coming back to her with a tray of food and drinks. It always seemed like when Carol walked down the whole world turned around to look at her; you simply couldn’t look away from her. This time Therese was ready to capture exactly how she felt every time she was in the presence of this gorgeous woman,  _ her  _ woman. 

“What do you have there?” asked Therese with a smile as soon as Carol approached her.

“Gourmet hot dogs and beer,” replied Carol as she sat down next to Therese again. 

Carol put the tray between them. She grabbed one of the beer cups and handed it to Therese and then raised the other one left.

“Cheers, my love.” 

Both women touched their cups and toasted to their love. Therese started to giggle much to Carol’s surprise.

“What’s so funny?” questioned Carol with her mouth full.

“I’ve never seen you eat a hot dog before.” 

“There’s a lot you haven’t seen me do yet, baby,” whispered Carol in a seductive tone. 

The sun started to set as both women finished their drinks. People around them started to get ready and lay down for the movie.

“What are we watching tonight?”

“[The English Patient](https://cdn.cinematerial.com/p/500x/yxr4vpmz/the-english-patient-movie-poster.jpg?v=1456624211). Have you seen it?”

“Oh yes! I watched it when it came out. Me and Abby sneaked inside the movie...we were just 16! I haven’t watched it again since then. It’s beautiful.”

Therese started to arrange the cushions extra blanket underneath them for more comfort. They sat right close to each other, shoulders becoming one as they held hands. Therese was captivated by the magnificent  cinematography  of the movie: the golden dessert was if not the true protagonist of the film. Therese found herself strangely connected to the lovestory playing in front of her: she knew all too well that unstoppable force that attracts you towards this other being despite all danger involved. A force responding only to something physical, leaving reasoning aside; a force that doesn’t know of a perfect time or place because the only right moment is there and then. That's what true love feels like. What those two characters were experiencing on screen Therese had the joy to experience it every day since she had found Carol; and as the male character, she had also claimed Carol’s body as a rich land to be discovered and possessed by her. As the film was reaching its end and the character of Count Almásy was desperately trying to get help after walking for days through the desert, Therese knew she’d have done the same for Carol. Therese couldn’t control the violent sobs coming out of her; Carol wrapped an arm around her and held her tightly against her, and with just one gesture she was able to make the young woman feel loved and protected.

The movie credits started to roll on the big screen and people slowly started to get up and pack their things. Therese remained inside Carol’s warm embrace with her head resting on her lover’s shoulder. Her tears had finally stopped running but all the feels caused by the film wee still running high. 

“You were right...it was beautiful,” announced Therese, breaking the silence.

“I know. It felt different than the first time I watched it, though.”

“How?” questioned Therese still looking ahead.

“I’m not sure...I just felt more related to the husband this time. He loved his wife so much he couldn’t imagine a life without her.

“But he was selfish...to do that at the end…”

“He was...sometimes love is so strong it can blind us. But love also doesn’t ask for permission, it just happens and it binds two souls against all odds.”

“Like it did for us,” said Therese as she raised her head to look at Carol.

“And I thank all the Gods, old and new ones every night for sending you my way. I never thought that after a year I’d still manage to feel my heart growing bigger and bigger with each day that passes. What you give to me, Therese, can’t be measured with words and it’s so much more than enough. You are too hard on yourself sometimes with superficial things like money. I wish you could see that the love you give not only me but Rindy is far more important than any money you could ever give me.” 

Carol tucked some loose hairs behind Therese’s ear as she looked right into the depths of her eyes. Therese noticed that tears were starting to form in Carol’s eyes which threatened hers back to surface. Carol took a deep breath and continued.

“I always wanted to have Rindy fully back with me ever since the divorce happened but I just let Harge have her. I didn’t fight for her as I should have, and maybe I didn’t because I was scared. Deep inside I knew I couldn’t have done it all by myself no matter how hard I wanted to. And as I look back now on how things happened and how she came back to me…” Carol finally let her tears run freely as her words. “It was because of you. You and your magic brought her back to me because this time I’d be alone. I have an angel.”

Therese crashed her lips against Carol’s with the force of an ocean wave crashing against the sand. She could taste both her and Carol’s tears as their kiss deapend; but they didn’t taste salty, they were sweetened by love. Therese could feel herself melting in Carol’s arms and lips despite the cool breeze that had started to blow softly. No force of nature could break this moment except the loud whistles and cheering coming from behind them. Both women broke the kiss between giggles and red cheeks. They quickly started to pack their things avoiding the looks around them and as they walked back to the car with Carol holding her hand tight and looking back at her with a warm smile Therese said to herself:  _ I would have never left the cave with my heart inside of it.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed this one. I'm starting to feel inspired and happy again! I'm really proud of this chapter. If you haven't watched the film The English Patient please do!! It's a masterpiece in every way...and it was my number one film for years until Carol stole that spot, hehe!
> 
> Your comments are more than welcomed :)


	3. Chapter 3

Therese hadn't seen Richard in a little over a year. The last time they had seen each other in person was at their graduation party and she didn't even say goodbye properly since the urge to see Carol again had taken over her. 

She had been happily surprised to see him liking her pictures on her Instagram page but she was even more surprised when he texted her to ask how she has been doing lately. That’s when she realised how much time had passed since she had talked to him. She felt guilty for not having kept in touch with him, not even telling him about her marriage. Therese texted him back and after a couple of messages they had agreed to see each other for coffee to catch up. 

The coffee place Richard had picked for them to meet was rather small but very warm and cozy. She decided to sit on one of the empty tables near the entrance in order to make it easier for him to find her. He arrived a few minutes later. 

“Richard!” Therese yelled the moment he entered the place. 

“Therese! Hi, I’m so happy to see you!” said Richard, giving her a warm hug.

Richard looked very different from the last time Therese had seen him. He now had a perfectly well kept beard which made him look older and more serious. He had gained a little weight as well but he still had that cheerful and friendly smile.

“I’m happy to see you too. It’s been...months.”

“Heck yeah! Tell me, how have you been?” he asked as both sat down on the table.

“I’ve been doing well. A lot has happened in this past year,” replied Therese nervously. 

That guilt that Therese had felt when Richard first texted started to build up inside her again. She didn’t know how to best break the news on her life. Thankfully, the waiter came to their table to take their orders giving Therese a little break.

“I’m glad to see you’re still here, Therese.”

“Yes. Richard...there’s a lot I have to tell you. I feel so bad for not having stayed in touch in all these months but life just got…” Therese didn’t dare look at Richard so she kept her eyes fixed on her hands above the table.

“It’s OK, Therese. Life can get crazy at times. I’m here now so tell me.” He patted one of Therese’s hands and when she looked up and saw his warm smile she finally relaxed.

“I’m married.” 

“Oh my God! Congratulations, Therese! Who is the lucky person?”

“You know her…”

“I do? Who...WAIT! Are you telling me that you and Mrs. Aird are married?” exclaimed Richard in shock as he sat back in his chair.

“Yes. We got married almost a year ago,” Therese replied with a smile. 

“I can’t believe it. Wow...I mean I’m so happy for you. I knew that she was special and I can see how happy you are.”

“I am, Richard. Everything happened so fast but I truly feel we were meant for each other. I love her so much, and not just her but her daughter, too.”

“She has a kid? So that makes you a mom, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, pretty much,” said Therese with a giggle. 

“I’m so happy to see you this happy, Therese. I really do.”

The waiter returned with their coffees and pastries and they resumed their talk. 

“Enough of me...how about you?”

“Oh you know, I’ve been trying to find a steady job but luckily a friend recommended me to this architecture magazine and they really liked my shots. I’ve done two issues so far.”

“That’s fantastic! You always had a great eye for architecture. I’m sure you’re going to do amazing.”

“I sure hope so. And you? What are you doing?”

Therese stiffened a little in her chair. The subject wasn’t an easy one for her. She had been struggling to find a steady job, one she really felt inspired by. 

“I’ve been struggling, too. I still am. I haven’t been able to get a lot of photography jobs. I’m currently doing some edits for another party but it’s not good enough. I want to take pictures,” Therese confessed as she held her coffee with both hands. She was trying hard to keep her emotions at bay.

“As you should. You are incredibly talented, Therese. Seriously, your work was always the best at school.”

“Oh, don’t say that!” Therese blushed slightly as she smiled.

“I mean it. You know how to capture emotions with such honesty and rawness...it’s really a gift. Have you thought about taking portraits?”

“Yes, I have but I don’t have a place to do it. I’m worried to do it at home...I’m not alone you see…”

“I understand. You could rent a studio. I have this friend who owns one and he rents it to other fellow photographers. I can give you his number.”

“That would be great! Thank you so much, Richard. I’ve been feeling so...hopeless I-...” Therese couldn’t hold the knot in her throat anymore as her tears started to run free. 

“I’m so sorry,” she uttered between sobs as she tried to clean away her tears.

“It’s fine. I know how hard it must be. Everything will be OK.”

“I feel so bad for not having a steady job, to not be able to help Carol with the expenses as I should. I feel like I’m failing…”

“No, you’re not. Things take some time, especially good things. Don’t lose hope, OK? Now you have a new place where you can start doing what you love. I’ll help you with anything I can. I’ll spread the word,” Richard took one of her hands tightly. “That’s what friends are for.”

And for the first time in months Therese felt like everything was truly going to be OK now that she could count on Richard. 

* * *

It had been hard to say goodbye to Carol the day before the weekend; and it wasn’t any other weekend, it was their wedding anniversary. Carol told her that she had to drive to Albany, NY in order to visit a museum that was going to lend them pieces for an upcoming exhibition. This exhibition would be Carol’s first one and she had been working very hard on it for the past few months. 

Therese knew how important this trip was for Carol so she tried to be supportive and put her disappointment aside before Facetiming her.

“Hello, my angel. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too,” she replied as she sat down on the couch. She was still in her pajamas.

“Is Rindy already gone?”

“Yes. Sam and her parents picked her up a while ago. She was excited to spend the weekend with them.”

“I bet she was. And what about you? Please don’t tell me you’re staying home.”

“I was going to...but Dannie called last night saying he had tickets to this Broadway musical called Wicked. I haven’t been to one in a long time.”

“I’m glad you’re both going. I wish I could join you but I have to go to this museum instead. Tell me all about it when I get home. I love you, my darling.”

“I love you more. Happy anniversary.”

Therese hung up before she let her emotions take over her once again.

She was happy to have a date with Dannie for that tonight, otherwise she’d have spent it alone in bed. She spent the rest of the day working on some edits until it was time to get ready. Dannie had told her to wear something nice since they’d be going out for dinner afterwards. She put on a [long black dress](https://www-s.mlo.me/upen/v/2018/201805/20180504/201805041656157219548.jpg) she had purchased recently. She fed Milan before leaving and she hoped he wouldn’t make too much of a mess while he was alone. She met Dannie downstairs.

“Hey there, beautiful. Ready to go?”

“Yes!”

They took a taxi downtown in order to avoid worrying about where to park the car, plus Dannie had promised a fun night and that involved more than one drink for sure. The musical was absolutely spectacular. Therese let herself get lost in the music and story to the point she forgot about time. Just as they were walking out, Dannie told her that he wasn’t feeling well so he’d prefer to postpone dinner. Once again Therese was left disappointed. She wondered if Carol would still be up to talk but she thought best not to disturb her since it was 9:30PM. She walked up the stairs, dragging her feet dreading having to spend the night alone in the apartment; she had gotten used to be in the company of her loved ones in this past year. 

When she opened the door to the apartment something was pushed forward with it. Therese looked down and she spotted a red box with a note on it lying on the floor. She closed the door behind her before she picked up the box. The note on it read _ OPEN ME. _ Therese hesitated. She looked around, scared that someone was playing a trick on her. She could hear her heart beating fast inside her chest. _ Open it and let’s get this over with, _ Therese told herself in order to build up some courage. She placed the box with both hands on top of the entryway furniture and carefully took the lid off whilst holding her breath. Inside of the box was another note: _ PUT THESE ON AND RING. -C. _Only then did Therese recognize Carol’s handwriting; her heart started to beat even faster. She removed the note to reveal a pair of black blindfolds and a small bell lying on the bottom. She took the blindfolds that were of a soft material and put them on. With the help of her touch, she managed to grab the bell and ring it as requested. Therese didn't have to wait long in the darkness and silence of the room. The first thing that gave her away was her perfume as it always did; and now that Therese was blindfolded it became more evident. 

“Carol…?” she whispered.

There was no reply just the sound of steps approaching. Therese started to get nervous. She knew it was Carol, it had to be._ It’s her handwriting and her perfume but what if… _Just when Therese was about to remove the blindfolds a hand on her arm held her down. She let out a small shriek. 

“Don’t be scared, darling. Give me your hand.”

That was unmistakably her voice. Therese let out a sigh in relief and held out a hand which Carol took in hers and helped Therese walk through the apartment.

“Be careful, there’s a step right here…”

Therese could feel fresh air hitting her face as well as noises coming from the streets. She was impressed on how her other senses were quickly kicking in. They finally stood still. Therese could sense Carol breathing close behind her and this time she didn’t jump when she felt Carol’s hands around her face to gently remove the blindfolds. Therese didn’t have to adjust her eyes to light since there wasn’t much. She was standing outside their balcony which was [illuminated with fairy lights](https://balconygardenweb-lhnfx0beomqvnhspx.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/balcony-lighting-ideas.jpg) that were intertwined to the railing. There were also red and white paper cuts in the shape of hearts hanging from the ceiling together with pictures of their wedding; and below them was the round [patio table](http://www.familyholiday.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/ROMANTIC-TABLE-1.jpg) set with plates, glasses and burning candles all in white. Everything looked like a fairytale dream. 

“Carol...this is beautiful. I don-...” Therese turned around to finally look at her love for the first time that evening but she was left speechless.

Carol was wearing a [short sparkly gold dress](http://cdn.cichic.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/1/0/10107499121-1/golden-patchwork-sequin-v-neck-short-sleeve-mini-dress.jpg) that revealed her stunning cleavage and long legs. That dress in addition to her golden wavy hair made Carol shine even brighter than the stars and the sun; and like a planet revolving around the sun, Therese revolved around Carol to admire her beauty.

“I’ll never understand…” wondered Therese as she stood in front of Carol. She placed both hands on the blonde’s hips.

“What?”

“How you manage to look this breathtaking. I’m the luckiest girl in the world,” said Therese looking at those blue shimmering eyes.

“And you make me feel like the luckiest woman in the whole universe. Happy anniversary, my angel.” Carol grabbed Therese’s face with both hands and gave her a small kiss on the lips.”

“So you did all of this for me?” asked Therese as she turned around and pointed to the table in front of them.

“Yes. I wanted to surprise you. I did have to go to a museum earlier today but it wasn't in Albany...it was here in the city,” confessed Carol.

“Where were you all this time?”

“At Abby’s. She helped me get all of this...and more.”

“Hmmm...OK,” uttered Therese crossing her arms faking to be mad.

“I'm so sorry angel for leaving you alone but I promise you’ll forgive me by the end of the night,” said Carol with a smirk.

Carol showed Therese to the table and asked her to sit for she had cooked a special meal for them that night. Therese felt utterly flattered to see all the efforts Carol had put in to make their first wedding anniversary one to remember. The blonde disappeared back into the house and returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with two steaming plates. Carol had cooked [Spinach and Three Cheese Manicotti](https://thecookingjar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/spinach-three-cheese-manicotti-5.jpg) which looked delicious and she served it with red wine. The combination of food, wine and the golden Goddess had Therese in complete ecstasy, all her senses competing for first place. Words weren’t really necessary in that moment for they had already spoken words of love, time and time again. The knowledge of how the other one was feeling or thinking was enough.

For dessert Carol served them [red velvet muffins](https://therecipecritic.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/RedVelvetCupcakes2-667x1000.jpg) with vanilla ice cream and cold champagne. Therese smiled at the sight of those muffins since they were similar to their wedding cake. _ She really did think about every small detail _she told herself. Therese kept looking at their pictures hanging above them.

“Do you know the reason for all the paper?” Carol asked.

“Not really.”

“Paper is a modest, fragile, and inexpensive material which makes it the traditional anniversary gift for the early years that start simple (paper for the first anniversary, cotton for the second), and they become more luxurious as time goes on (gold, diamonds)...”

“That’s a beautiful tradition. I’m sure we’ll get to diamond one day.”

“We will, angel. Cheers!” 

Carol stared at Therese with eyes full of lust as she tipped up her glass of champagne. A chill spread through Therese’s body despite it being a warm summer night. She felt like a pray under the eyes of its hunter but she didn’t feel helpless or scared, and unlike those prayers she desperately wished for her time to come. Carol suddenly got up still holding her glass. She caressed Therese’s hand with her fingers as she walked past her making it go on fire as when fire meets gasoline. Therese didn’t have to be asked twice so she got up and followed the blonde towards their bedroom. Once they arrived to the half closed door, Carol told her to step in first. Therese’s heart almost jumped out of her chest when she saw the red heart made of rose petals taking all of the bed space illuminated by candlelight. There was a sweet smell in the air coming from those same aromatic candles. Carol placed her glass of champagne on the nightstand, she turned around and walked to Therese who was still standing there speechless. 

“Put these on again, love,” ordered Carol as she handed Therese the blindfolds.

Therese did as she was told and put them on. She felt another chill going through her body as she was left down to her other four senses once again. She could feel Carol’s presence behind her only to feel her fingers work their magic to set her free of her dress, her underwear and shoes. Carol led her carefully to the bed and had her lay down on her back and next she grabbed both of Therese’s wrists.

“Do you trust me?” asked Carol in a deep, sexy voice.

“Yes…” whispered Therese.

And she did trust her love with her life so she let Carol tie her arms by the bed behind her with what felt like soft ties. Carol told her she’d be back in a second. Therese anticipation kept growing and growing with each second that passed. They had never done something like this before so Therese couldn’t help feeling nervous and excited about what was going to happen next. If dinner had already been an unforgettable one she couldn’t picture what was awaiting her. 

Carol returned a few minutes later as she had promised and by the noise she was carrying something but Therese couldn't figure out what. It didn’t take long for her to find out though. She felt the warmth of Carol’s naked body lying next to her only to be shocked with the opposite feeling when Carol slid an ice cube over one of Therese’s nipples which she could feel hardening right away. Therese couldn't control the whine and the shiver that escaped her body that was highly sensitive due to the lack of sight; she could already feel her arousal building up fast. She felt Carol’s hand moving the ice cube to the other nipple before she traveled down her stomach with it until it melted away inside the heat of her tights. Next, her body was shocked again with the feeling of liquid running down the middle of her chest and breasts, and by the smell of it she knew it was champagne. Her skin burned when Carol’s mouth started to drink from it feeling her tongue licking every last drop on her. Therese felt Carol’s lips continuing their way up until they reached her awaiting mouth. She could taste the champagne in Carol’s tongue dancing on top of hers at the same time as she felt Carol’s hand slowly travel down her body until it finally reached her heated center. She felt Carol’s delicate fingers going back and forth through her gliding folds making her moan in response.

“Looks like you’re ready…” uttered Carol as she broke the passionate kiss.

Therese’s mind was in such a daze she couldn’t form the question quick enough... _ Ready for what? _Carol didn’t wait for her mind to catch up for she spread open Therese’s legs without hesitation. The low sound threw Therese off; it sounded like a low humming, and before she could guess she felt it. It felt like a blow of electricity hitting her clit before spreading through every nerve in her body making her vibrate in synchrony with the device. She desperately pulled at the strings tied around her wrists as a way to control the spasms of her body in overdrive. 

“C- Carol…” Therese could barely breathe out.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No...I- I’m so…” 

Therese felt the walls of her dam finally breaking and with a loud cry she collapsed on the mattress, her body still twitching and out of breath. Carol removed the vibrator before she did the same with the blindfolds. The blonde looked Therese straight into her eyes as she held her face and waited for Therese to come back down from her climax. 

“Carol, that...I can’t...I never thought my body could feel all that.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, darling. I wanted to try something new…” said Carol with a smirk. 

Once Therese recovered, she went down on Carol without leaving a single part of her body unkissed and unmarked by her thirsty mouth. After causing the blonde’s last scream of the night, both women succumbed to sleep with their bodies entwined in a bed of roses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Dragonwings13 for beta reading it ❤️
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Carol’s first art exhibition finally arrived. She had been working very hard to get all the art pieces that were going to be part of the landscape themed exhibition. She had managed to get some famous landmark paintings borrowed from other galleries and museums, but she had also searched for local artists to help put on the spot. That was one of the many things Therese loved about Carol; she was always keen on giving those invisible talents a name and a space. Therese remembered how back when they were in school Carol would always praise her work at exhibitions and tell her how one day she’d have a big one with her name on it. Those words always stayed with Therese and they were her inspiration and motivation to keep trying despite the difficulties. She just wanted to make Carol be proud of her one day. 

But tonight it was Carol’s special night. They had asked Dannie to come babysit for Rindy since Abby and Crystal were attending the exhibition, too. Both women were in the bedroom getting ready while Rindy watched TV with Milan in the couch. Therese had done her hair and makeup before she put on the beautiful [white dress](https://drraa3ej68s2c.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/08173506/cabf6d81e4ac768e3880d447707fbd7906d057640199c1c0467215e1c9b67ebd-682x1024.jpg) that Carol had helped her pick for that night but she was having trouble with the zipper in the back. She walked to the bathroom were Carol was getting herself ready. The blonde had picked an elegant [blue pantsuit](https://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201524/rs_634x1024-150304101357-634.Cate-Blanchett-JR-3415.jpg) that matched her stunning blue eyes. 

“Carol, would you please help me with the back?” asked Therese as she was approaching the bathroom.

Carol was applying her signature red lipstick when Therese walked in. The blonde gave a jump when Therese reached her side causing her to miss her upper lip line smirring lipstick above her mouth. 

“Fuck! You scared me,” said Carol trying to clean her lipstick mess.

“I’m sorry Carol I didn’t mean to. Come here let me do it. Sit!” ordered Therese as she patted the white marble countertop. 

Carol did as she was told and she sat on it with a smile. Therese took a makeup wipe and with one hand holding Carol’s jaw she carefully cleaned the red spot above her mouth. Next, she grabbed the red lipstick and with a steady hand she did the rest of Carol’s upper lip. Therese wanted to kiss those half opened lips very badly but she knew it would turn into a bigger mess. 

“There you go. Looking breathtaking as always.”

“Thank you my angel,” said Carol placing both hands on Therese’s shoulders. “I’m so nervous about tonight. I’m such a mess.”

“It’s fine, Carol. You’ve worked so hard for this. Everything is going to be fantastic because  _ YOU  _ are fantastic.”

Carol leaned forwards and gave Therese a light kiss on the lips before she rested her forehead against Therese’s. She took a deep breath and stood up again.

“Alright then, where did you need my help?” Carol asked with a smirk. 

Once they were ready, both women joined Rindy in the living room. Carol took Therese by the hand as they stood in front of the younger one.

“So, how do we look?” asked Carol giving Therese a side wink.

“You look so pretty… the two of you!” cried Rindy as she ran to her moms and hugged them. “I want to come with you.”

“I know sunshine but it’s going to be a long evening full of old people. I’m sure you’re going to have more fun with Dannie tonight,” said Carol as she caressed Rindy’s head.

“I’m sure of that, little one. Dannie is the best.”

The doorbell rang right in that moment.

“Speaking of the devil…” said Therese and both women started to laugh.

* * *

Carol and Therese arrived at the art gallery half an hour before the exhibition started since Carol wanted to make sure everything was perfect before the doors opened to the public. Therese had been there a few times before but this was going to be the very first time attending an event as Carol’s wife. She had met just one of Carol’s coworkers at her last birthday party but she hadn’t met anyone else; not even Carol’s boss which made her feel a little nervous since she wanted to make a good impression. She stayed in one of the rooms while Carol checked the other one and also made sure the catering was already in place. Therese walked around observing the art pieces Carol had chosen for that night. That room she was in held famous paintings of landscapes Therese had seen in books: [“Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog”](https://en.bcdn.biz/Images/2018/5/29/93b3efea-d81b-45d8-a478-4263270a685e.jpg) by Caspar David Friedrich, [“The Starry Night”](https://en.bcdn.biz/Images/2018/5/29/7c4790b9-adf7-4ce1-987d-d59b5796d9ad.jpg) by Vincent Van Gogh, [“The Hay Wain”](https://en.bcdn.biz/Images/2018/5/29/e322c924-3041-4100-83f2-a457e399b1ca.jpg) by John Constable, [“The Oxbow”](https://en.bcdn.biz/Images/2018/5/29/7586a949-3a1d-4d2a-b6f6-204dafbf6de1.jpg) by Thomas Cole, and many others. Therese was so immersed in the art she didn’t hear someone approaching her from behind. 

“Excuse me… the gallery isn’t open for another couple more minutes.”

Therese gave a jump and turned around in her heels. There was an older woman about her height standing there looking at her with a disapproving look. She had short white hair and was dressed all in black with matching reading glasses. 

“I’m sorry… I’m Therese. I-I’m Carol’s wife,” stuttered Therese almost in a whisper. 

She could feel her cheeks turning red as she spoke. She extended her hand to introduce herself but the older woman didn’t move. She just stood there looking at her with the same expression.

“Oh… I see. I’m looking for Carol, is she…”

“Victoria, I’m glad you’re here,” announced Carol as she walked back in. She greeted the older woman with a warm smile but she also kept her distance. “This is Therese, my wife.” Carol stood next to Therese without touching her.

“Yes, we’ve been introduced. She’s very lovely,” said Victoria as she gave Therese a little smile which seemed forced. 

Therese looked down at her feet. The exhibition hadn’t even started yet and she already wanted to leave. The old lady’s presence was making her feel like she didn’t belong there -- unwanted. She desperately wanted to run away as she felt tears threatening to come down her cheeks but right at that moment she felt Carol’s warm hand on her back, so she closed her eyes, she took a deep breath and looked up again with a smile.

“Everything is ready. Do you want me to walk you around?”

“Yes please.”

“I’ll be right back,” whispered Carol into Therese’s ear before she turned around and left with Victoria. 

Finally alone, Therese put her coat on again and headed outside. She leaned against the wall near the entrance and she took a deep breath of the cold air to help her calm down. She feared that everybody else she met that night was going to give her the same cold treat that Victoria had just given her and she just couldn't deal with it. She wanted to leave so badly she even considered for a second taking a taxi and head to the comfort and safety of her home but she couldn’t leave Carol like that, not in her special night. Therese stayed there enjoying the calmness of the night.

“Therese! Where ar-... oh there you are, angel.” Carol walked quickly to where Therese was. She hugged her once she reached her. 

“I’m sorry Carol. I needed some air.”

“You’re fine. I’m the one who’s sorry,” said Carol looking at her with sorry eyes, “I should have warned you about Victoria. She’s the owner of the gallery and she can be very difficult. She’s one of the reasons I’m nervous tonight.”

“And I can see why. But don’t let her get into your head, Carol. The exhibition looks amazing. Do you trust me?” asked Therese with a shy smile.

“Always. Now let’s go back,” replied Carol giving Therese another quick kiss.

They walked back together but this time Carol had her arm around Therese’s waist making Therese feel secure and confident. 

Fortunately, people started to show up shortly after. Carol greeted everyone and introduced them to Therese in the process, and not just as her wife but also as a promising photographer which made Therese’s heart skip a beat. These people were far more friendly and that made Therese feel more comfortable and at ease to be there. When Abby and Crystal finally arrived, she happily stuck to them. Therese told them what had happened with Victoria earlier.

“She has a reputation that precedes her. She’s always been one to be feared. I’ve heard of other curators transfering to other galleries because of her. Don’t worry, Therese. It’s not personal,” explained Abby trying to make Therese feel better. 

“Thanks Abby. I just worry about Carol. She is so nervous.”

“Carol will be fine. She had to deal with a whole Board of despicable men back in school. I’m sure she will manage just fine. She knows how to charm people.”

“She sure does. I’m going to try to find her and check on her.”

Therese searched around the room but she didn’t find Carol there. She walked to the other room with the works of all the local artists but again she didn’t see Carol there either. She was welcomed with a glass of champagne as she made her way towards the first wall of paintings. Most of the works were so [colorful](https://a.1stdibscdn.com/juan-del-pozo-paintings-nyc-after-storm-original-city-panorama-painting-contemporary-art-21st-century-for-sale/a_4683/a_41073221552222735007/NYC_after_the_storm_master.jpg?width=768) and [vibrant ](https://a.1stdibscdn.com/a_11171/1556913087257/IMG_3371_master.jpg?width=768)Therese couldn’t help feeling drawn to them. There were paintings of Brooklyn Bridge, downtown at sunset and night, and Central Park of course. 

“Are you the artist?” Therese heard someone ask from behind her. She turned around to see a tall redhead woman in a gorgeous green dress.

“I’m afraid I’m not. I’m here with someone but I can’t seem to…”

“They shouldn’t be leaving you all alone,” said the red haired as she took a sip of her champagne. 

“I’m Therese, Carol’s wife,” blurted Therese.

“Oh, of course! I’m Petra, nice to meet you, “she said as they shook hands, “I've known Carol since Art school.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“So what do you do, Therese?”

“I’m a photographer.”

“Oh, that’s great. What do you take pictures of?”

“Anything really, but people are my favorite. I recently started to do portraits at my studio.”

“That’s amazing. Have you done any work for editorials?”

“I’ve just done edits, no photoshoots.”

“Well I have this friend who is a designer and she’s about to launch a new collection. She’s looking for someone to take shots of her pieces. Would you be interested?”

“Yes of course! That’d be great, thank you!” 

“Do you have a card or something, Therese…?”

“Belivet. I do, yes.” Right at that moment she thanked Carol for insisting to get business cards done because she never knew when a potential client would show up. The card had her phone number, email address and Instagram page to reference her work. 

“That’s lovely. I’ll give it to my friend. I’m sure she will contact you back,” replied Petra with a wink.

“Petra, you came!” beamed Carol as she joined both women and gave Petra a warm hug.

“I did. I’m glad to see you again, Carol. I see that you got married again,” she said as she looked back at Therese.

“Yes. I’m very lucky to have her,” confessed Carol as she took one of Therese’s hands with both hands whilst she looked at her with loving eyes, ”I met Petra back when we were studying art. We haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“We sure have.”

“How are you and… Laura?”

“Oh honey, we split up a couple of years ago. I'm enjoying being single quite a bit better.”

“I can’t remember what that’s like…” said Carol as she looked back at Therese who rolled her eyes at her joke.

“The exhibition is splendid, Carol. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Petra. I haven’t done this in a long while. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“I am, and I’m going to continue the tour. It was nice meeting you, Therese. We’ll keep in touch.” Petra said goodbye to both of them and left.

“What was that about?” asked Carol with a curious look.

“Oh, she told me about a friend who is going to launch a clothes collection and is looking for a photographer.”

“That’s amazing, darling! I’m so proud of you,” said Carol as she held Therese’s neck with one hand to give her a warmer and longer kiss. Therese wasn’t sure if she was feeling dizzy because of the kiss or the alcohol...probably both. 

Abby and Crystal joined them shortly after and they stayed together talking and enjoying themselves until the last people present started to leave. Therese was helping Carol get in her coat when Victoria approached them again. 

“The exhibition was a success. Everybody left with a good image of the gallery so much that they have offered their support. Congratulations.”

“Thank you very much, Victoria. It’s a relief.”

“I’m sure it is. Goodnight… to both of you,” she uttered looking at both Carol and Therese before she turned around and left.

“I told you, Carol! You did this, I knew you would,” beamed Therese as she wrapped her arms around Carol’s neck and placed kisses all over her smiling face. 

* * *

A couple of days later Therese received a phone call from the designer that she had been anxiously waiting for. It turned out that she wasn’t just any designer but a lingerie one. Therese had never done a photoshoot with models before, especially with little clothes on so she felt a little nervous and insecure. She wanted the job badly since it could possibly bring in more potential clients, together with a good pay. After dinner, she stayed seated at the table searching for other campaigns not just from this particular designer but from others as well. Fashion wasn’t her strong point, stories were, but she was determined to learn how things worked in this new world of clothes and modeling. She knew that those pieces had to be the center of the picture and there were so many ways to bring that about. Therese remembered Dannie showing her this well-known underwear brand Victoria's Secret and the entertaining shows they put out every year to display the underwear. Only then did Therese understand the importance lingerie could have. 

Carol returned to the dinner after putting Rindy to sleep. She approached Therese from behind her chair and rested her hands on her shoulders.

“What are you doing, love?”

“Nothing, just checking the designer I’m going to work with,” said Therese as she scrolled through the website and looked at pictures featuring very attractive and fit models in underwear, “it turns out she’s a lingerie designer…”

“I can see that.”

“They are so… sexy. I can’t wait to...”

“Well I’m glad someone is…!” barked Carol in a harsh tone as she made her way towards the bedroom. 

It took Therese a few seconds to react. She closed the computer and followed Carol to their room. She found her sitting on the bed with her head down and her golden hair covering her face. Therese rested on one side against the doorframe while she crossed her arms.

“I meant to say that those  _ pieces _ look so sexy and I can’t wait to see  _ you  _ in them.”

Therese stayed there waiting for Carol to reply but instead she saw how the blonde’s body started to shake with sobs. Therese reached the bed and kneeled in front of Carol who was still looking down to her hands. 

“Carol, what’s wrong? Please look at me,” pleaded Therese grabbing Carol’s hands.

“I’m so stupid...and old… and jeloaus,” replied Carol between sobs as she looked at Therese with redened eyes.

“That’s not true, Carol! Why are you saying that?”

“I see those young and attractive women and I see you...and how you must feel attracted to them. I-I will never look like that. I’m almost 40 and my body is ag-...”

“Carol, don’t. I can’t believe you’re making me do this…” sighed Therese as she stood up and took Carol with her to the bathroom by the hand. 

Therese placed Carol before the sink mirror at a distance in which she could look at herself from knees up. Next, Therese removed the negligee Carol was wearing together with the nightgown underneath it until Carol was standing just in her laced panties in front of her.

“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” Therese questioned looking at Carol through the mirror. 

“What?” asked Carol trying to hold her tears back.

“I see an extremely beautiful, sexy, strong, smart, loving, and hardworking woman. And she couldn’t be all these things without experience, and time. Did you know that the first time that I saw you like this you made  _ me  _ feel insecure?”

“Oh God no! Why?” Carol covered her mouth in shock with one hand.

“Because you’re just breathtaking, Carol. You exude sensuality even when you’re not aware of it. The first time I saw your naked back I almost had a heart attack,” confessed Therese making Carol laugh. 

Therese approached the blonde and with one hand she traced down Carol’s marble back making the blonde shiver under her touch. Therese continued her journey to Carol’s breasts as she grabbed them firmly with both hands. 

“I’ll never get tired of saying how perfect and beautiful these are...and the way they react to me and me only.” 

Therese gave them a squeeze before continuing her way down. She could see Carol’s disappointment at the loss of contact. Therese finally reached the blonde’s stomach and she gently pinched at the little extra skin that had appeared recently much to Carol’s disapproval.

“I love your stomach much more now with this extra warm and soft skin for me to hold at night. And it’s much easier to tickle you!” beamed Therese as she tickled Carol on her sides making her laugh again. The sad tears were definitely erased from Carol’s eyes. “And what amazes me the most is the fact that you carried Rindy here inside of you; and all these marks you feel insecure about just prove that that miracle happened.”

Therese turned Carol around and placed both hands on Carol’s buttcheeks. 

“And don’t get me started on your perfectly rounded ass...and those perfectly long legs that wrap around me like the softest silk. Carol, every inch of you is perfect and I wouldn’t change a single thing. How could I look at somebody else like this when I have you?”

“I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have you. Thank you for loving me the way you do, and for making me see myself through your eyes.” Carol placed both hands around Therese’s face and brought her in for a heartwarming kiss. 

“Now let me show you how much I love your body without words,” whispered Therese as they broke their kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you pictured Victoria as Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada...kudos to you! ;)
> 
> Would you please do me a favor? Look at yourself in the mirror today and tell yourself: I am beautiful. ✿
> 
> Thank you for reading ❤


	5. Chapter 5

Therese arrived at the studio together with Dannie in the early afternoon in order to start setting up everything for the lingerie photoshoot. This photoshoot would consist of 15 underwear pieces and 3 models. Since the designer wouldn’t be present because of a business trip, Therese was going to be in charge of the direction but fortunately the designer wanted a simple shoot focused on the lingerie. She gave Therese a few instructions based on the pictures from previous collections which Therese had already studied very well so this made her feel more confident she could do it. Dannie helped Therese set a [white backdrop](https://www.dhresource.com/0x0/f2/albu/g7/M01/2D/21/rBVaSltEf5WAJtlUAAGyYdMts8A706.jpg) as background and in front of it they put a high chair to be used by the models. In order to give the models privacy while changing outfits, Therese had bought screen panels and she put them in a corner on the opposite side of the room. There was also a big table where the hair and makeup team would get the models ready. Therese set her digital camera on a tripod and connected her computer next to it in order to be able to check the shots as they happened. The studio had big tall windows that let in a lot of natural light so Therese only had to add a few spot lights to complete the setting. Therese was happy to have Dannie with her not only to help her move things around but also to keep her relaxed; he always had that calming effect on her. 

The first person to arrive was the stylist with the lingerie. Therese had asked her to arrive a little earlier than the rest in order to take the individual shots that would be used in the online catalogue. The stylist showed Therese through the different colors and materials they were going to work with that day. There were two beautiful pieces as well as one pieces in lace, silk, cotton, and velvet in very vibrant colors which would definitely come alive in the pictures. The collection also included garter belts and stockings in more subtle colors such as black, white and red. Therese set the [light box](https://www.sadoun.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/1707-gnoy4r.jpg) available at the studio to take closeup shots of each clothing piece; this way the shots would be more controlled and achieve better detail. While she was at it, the hair and makeup team and the models started to arrive. Dannie took care of them while Therese finished with the clothes. Taking shots of the underwear pieces had been easy and a good way to warm up but now Therese was starting to feel a little more nervous having all these people around. She tried to calm herself down as she set everything back for the models but in the process she almost knocked down a light. 

“Terry, calm down. You’re doing great,” said Dannie rubbing Therese’s back.

“I’m not used to having all these people around. I feel...observed.”

“It’s OK. These people are so used to doing this that they just focus on what they have to do and that’s it. You should to the same.”

“I know, I'll try. I just want to make everybody feel comfortable.”

“And they will. Shall we play some music?”

“Yes, please,” answered Therese with a smile.

Once the first model was ready, Therese guided her behind the camera and asked her to sit on the tall chair. She was tall, blonde, and she had pale skin which reminded her a little of Carol in a way; but no other woman was as beautiful and breathtaking as her Carol. She took a couple test shots to make sure the lighting and camera settings were perfect. After she checked the pictures on her computer and was happy with the results, she went back behind her camera and started to take more shots. Luckily, the model knew exactly how to work the camera so she didn’t require many directions from Therese which made her feel quickly at ease and able to enjoy the process. A couple shots later, Therese continued with the second model who was more curvy, with a more brownish skin tone and long curly hair. The model was so incredibly confident in her own skin which made it very easy for Therese to capture with her lens. The third model had such beautiful dark skin which made all the colorful pieces stand out against her perfect toned body. The models kept rotating in front of the camera with each new set of underwear with a clockwork rhythm. Dannie was right, everybody was so focused on their own task that Therese didn’t have to worry about being watched. She actually felt more inspired and energized as time went by. Dannie stood by her side checking the computer screen and he even gave some posing ideas based on all the runway shows he had watched. Therese couldn’t be more happy, _W_ _ _e_ make a great team, _she said to herself. 

Therese was so deep in her zone that she completely lost track of time. Thankfully, Dannie was there to remind her that they should all have a little break before continuing. While the models rested, Therese went through the shots she had taken so far and she found herself very pleased with the results, and Dannie thought so too.

“These are amazing, Therese!”

“They are, aren’t they?” she agreed proudly.

“Absolutely! I can totally see you doing more of these shots in the future.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes! You are such a great photographer, Terry. I can see you working with big brands!”

“Oh stop! I don’t know if I will get another photoshoot…”

“Believe me, you will. This is just the beginning.” Dannie gave Therese a warm hug and she had to try hard not to cry. 

Half an hour later, they continued with the remaining pieces of underwear that fortunately weren’t so many. Therese suggested for this last part to do a couple of shots of the models together which everybody agreed on. Dannie changed the music to something more upbeat and the photoshoot soon became a party. Therese loved these more relaxed and fun shots the most, and she hoped the designer would too since they were a little different from what she had planned. After six hours of hard work, Therese wrapped up the shoot. The stylist approached Therese with a bag.

“What’s this?” asked Therese with surprise as she took the bag.

“It’s a present from Petra,” explained the stylist.

Therese looked inside the bag which contained underwear for both Therese and Carol. They were both laced, sexy pieces one in red (for Carol), and the other in black for herself. Therese made a mental note to thank Petra for this very nice gesture.

Therese let Dannie go as soon as everybody else left since she felt she had already abused of his help. She was finishing putting her camera and computer in her back when she heard a door open and footsteps approaching.

“MOMMY!” shouted Rindy running towards Therese to hug her.

“Oh hi there, little one. I’m so happy to see you,” said Therese kissing her. “Where’s your mom?”

“She’s waiting downstairs. She said we’re going out for dinner!”

Therese wasn’t expecting Carol to pick her up since she hadn’t been sure how much time the photoshoot would take. She was sure Dannie must have given her a heads up. She was actually glad Carol was here since Therese hadn’t brought her car because parking was a nightmare in that part of the city. Therese finished packing her bag and double checked everything was turned off before she went downstairs with Rindy. As soon as they walked out, Therese spotted Carol waiting for her outside her car. She was leaning against the car with folded arms and a smile Therese knew too well. _ She’s the most beautiful woman in the world. _

“There’s my favorite photographer,” greeted Carol before she wrapped her arms around Therese and kissed her. “How was it?”

“Good...very good actually,” replied Therese with a smile.

“Hope you’re not saying that because of the models…,” said Carol with a smirk.

“Oh hush!” Therese rolled her eyes before she gave Carol a light slap on her butt which made Rindy giggle.

Once they got inside the car and started to drive, Therese let out a yawn as soon as se relaxed in the seat. She hadn't realised until then how tired she was after the photoshoot. 

“Darling, you look tired. Do you want to go home instead?”

“No, no. I’m fine,” assured Therese as she placed a hand on Carol’s thigh. She didn’t want to ruin the dinner Rindy was so excited about. Besides, she really wanted to celebrate this special day. 

“What’s in that bag?” asked Carol eyeing the bag resting on Therese’s lap.

“A surprise...for later,” she replied without looking at Carol as she tried to contain a mischievous smile. 

They arrived at an Asian restaurant which turned out to be Rindy’s favorite because it was one of those restaurants with the chefs cooking in front of you. They found seats right in front of the [grilling place](https://benihana.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/promo_video_cover_photo_new.jpg) where the cooks were already making vegetables jump through the air. As they were waiting for their meal and as part of the show, one of the cooks threw a small piece of meat towards Carol which she caught in her mouth like an expert. She turned around and looked at Therese with such an intense stare that Therese had to take a sip of her water to cool the fire that was growing inside her burning any trace of tiredness. Therese told Carol how the photoshoot went while they had their delicious dinner.

“Can I be a model too so you can take my pictures, mommy?” asked Rindy looking at Therese.

Therese almost choked with her rice. She looked at Carol who was looking back at her with a grin.

“Y-yesss of course Rin. What kind of pictures?”

“I want pictures with Milan,” she replied with the cutest smile which made Therese melt inside.

“I’m sure we can do that, little one,” assured Therese as she placed a kiss on Rindy’s head. 

Once they got back home, Therese headed straight to the shower taking the gift bag containing the underwear with her. After taking a quick shower she changed into her underwear and took a look at herself in the mirror. The delicate straps on [top of the lace bra](https://img.shopstyle-cdn.com/sim/ba/5e/ba5ee33b4acc494ef37847c6523a55d4_best/Ann-Summers-Neva-guipure-lace-strapping-bra-and-brief-set-in-black.jpg) made Therese’s breasts stand out more and she was sure Carol wouldn’t be able to keep her eyes off her; she felt sexy. She stepped out of the bathroom and was glad to find the bedroom empty. She laid down on the bed on her side and propped her head on one hand. She placed the bag containing Carol’s underwear in front of her while she waited for Carol to come back; and fortunately for Therese she didn’t take long. Carol stopped in her tracks the second she laid eyes on Therese; she stood by the door with her mouth open. Therese tried hide to hide her excitement for making Carol speechless for once. 

“So this...is my surprise?” Carol managed to ask.

“Part of it. Here, this is for you,” said Therese as she held the bag in front of Carol. “Go put it on.”

Carol did as she was told and headed to the bathroom not without giving Therese a wink as she passed her by. A few minutes later Carol emerged wearing a [red laced see through](https://cdn.savagex.com/media/images/products/UD1936393-6036/MOSAIC-LACE-HIGH-LEG-BIKINI-UD1936393-6036-1-800x800.jpg) bra with matching panties. She looked sexier than Therese could have ever imagined. No model in the world could hold a candle next to Carol in that or any piece of clothing. Therese got stood up and walked up Carol and she whispered “ _ Stay right there” _ , before she walked away. She quietly headed to her dark room and picked the old [35mm analog camera](https://cdn-ep19.pressidium.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/film-camera-canonet.jpg) she and Carol had recently found in a flea market. She made sure that it had enough film on it and made a few adjustments. She returned to their bedroom and was glad to find Carol still standing where she left her. Carol looked at the camera in Therese’s hand, she then looked at her and let out a chuckle.

“Am I your next model, Miss Belivet?”

“_ Mrs. _ Belivet, I’m married. And yes, _ you _are next.” Therese switched off the ceiling lights leaving both nightstand lamps on.

“Oh, excuse me. What do you want me to do?”

“Put your right arm against the doorframe and put your left hand on your hip,” instructed Therese as she stood in front of Carol and focused on her.

Carol followed her instructions and gave Therese exactly what she wanted, and more. Therese could feel Carol’s burning stare through her camera lens. Carol kept posing for Therese without any more directions, she was a natural. Therese stepped closer to capture Carol’s face framed by her wavy hair delicately illuminated by the light coming from the lamp. After a few shots, Carol called _ My turn! _ before she took the camera from the brunette’s hand, pushed her towards the bed and asked her to lay down on her side as she had done before. Therese knew she was blushing profusely and was thankful the film she had picked was black and it wouldn’t capture the redness around her cheeks. She had also chosen this particular camera and film for Carol belonged in black and white. Next, Carol asked her to scoot towards the end of the bed, raise her legs up and cross them behind her, and rest her head on her folded arms as if she was sleeping. Therese heard a snap and waited for the next instruction for Carol but when she heard nothing, she shifted her head towards Carol and found herself looking straight into the camera standing close to her face. _ SNAP! _ Carol removed the camera from her face and with one hand she moved Therese’s face a little higher, she leaned forward to give Therese a passionate kiss. _ SNAP! _

Inspired by the confidence she had seen in the models earlier, Therese raised on her knees, took off her bra and covered her breasts with one arm. It took Carol a second to react and focus the camera back on Therese and take another shot since she was taken aback by the brunette’s sudden boldness. Seeing the effect she was having on Carol, Therese felt encouraged enough to let that same arm fall down to her side leaving her breasts fully exposed.

“Are you sure?” asked Carol as she hesitated to take the next shot.

“Yes, this is all for you and you only.”

_ SNAP! _

In one swift move, Therese took off the rest of her underwear and laid down on the bed completely naked; she slightly crossed her legs, turned her face to a side and placed one arm above her head. Carol jumped on the bed and stood above the brunette to capture as much as she could of her naked angel in one frame. Carol then lowered herself until she was straddling Therese’s hips, and from there she took another shot of Therese’s loving face. The blonde set the camera to the side while she looked at Therese with lusted eyes, and with that Therese knew she was done. 

“I was right,” said Therese as her eyes went up and down the blonde’s body in front of her.

“About what?” she asked in almost a whisper.

“About you looking sexy in this underwear.” Therese traced the delicate lace around Carol’s bra with her fingers avoiding the center where she could already see her nipples peeking out. 

Therese picked up the camera and asked Carol to take off her bra slowly; and as Therese captured the process she could feel her arousal growing with it. From Therese’s position lying down, Carol’s pale, round and gorgeous breasts came full into frame and as majestic as Therese saw them. She took a shot of her two favorite peaks on their own before she took another shot of her holding one of them with her hand. Although the pictures could never recreate the wonderful feeling of Carol’s soft skin beneath her touch, Therese still wanted to keep a perpetual reminder of how her bodies perfectly connected. 

Therese gently pushed Carol back to bed and the blonde melted like a river of milk against the grey duvet cover. Therese continued to take close ups of Carol’s body playing with the [lights and shadows](https://fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/medium/1/1-black-and-white-nude-david-quinn.jpg) cast across her marble skin. She travelled all the way down to the [lines and curves of her stomach](https://scene360.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/nude-photography-10.jpg) making sure to frame the pearl colored scar below it too, she continued with the [spots and shadows](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ef/be/eb/efbeebab21cdc0382197535dbd821349.jpg) across her sculpted back, her perfectly [rounded butt-cheeks](https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/3-black-and-white-nude-david-quinn.jpg), ending at the length of her creamy legs. _ SNAP! _

With bodies spent and entwined, both women stayed in each other’s arms as their breath came back to normal. Therese looked up to Carol with a smile and with her fingers she pressed on each small sweat drop that had formed around her face as a result of their intense and passionate lovemaking. 

“I always wanted to do that...the photos I mean. Thank you for letting me.”

“You should have asked me before.”

“I was scared you’d think it was weird.”

“I would never think such thing. I enjoyed being at the mercy of your lens. Besides, now you’ll have something to look back when this body grows older…”

“Carol...don’t.”

“Nothing lasts...” breathed Carol as one tear rolled down her cheek.

“But some things do,” replied Therese as she caught the tear between her warm lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed this shorter chapter. These past weeks have been difficult for me which made it harder to write so please leave a little comment, they make me very happy! :)
> 
> Special thanks to Ansi and Charlie for all your photography knowledge and tips!  
Thanks to Beate for always listening to my crazy ideas and constant changes. And thank you Liz for beta reading this one!
> 
> Lingerie inspired by SAVAGE X FENTY https://www.savagex.com/  
Those last lines were inspired by The Curious Case of Benjamin Button ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Therese was sitting at the dining table with her laptop. She was giving the final touches to the last photoshoot pictures she had done two days before. After her successful lingerie job and the praise she had gotten from the designer herself, Therese had started to get more editorial jobs. Some of them were big sessions and others, like the one she was currently working at, consisted of a few shots but with more editing involved. Therese had promised the client she’d have the pictures ready before the 4th of July long weekend as requested. Another reason why she needed to finish the job on time was the fact that Carol, Rindy and herself were leaving on a family trip to Disney the following day. Since they had all become a family they hadn’t had the chance to go on a trip as a one; mostly because Carol had been new at her job at the time and couldn't afford days off; and also because Therese hadn’t had a steady income herself and felt conscious about it. But now things were looking better for both women; they were thriving at their respective jobs, so when Carol had come up with the idea to surprise Rindy with a trip to Disney, Therese had been right on board with it. 

Working from home had become a challenge for Therese recently, since it meant having to divide her day between work and taking care of Rindy while she was on school break; but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loved having the little girl around, and hearing her laugh while she played by herself or with Milan. It made Therese’s working hours less lonely despite getting easily distracted. This time, Therese had picked a movie for Rindy to watch while she worked on the last minute edits to have the pictures sent right on time. She really needed to work fast in order to make up for the almost two hours she had lost while taking Milan to the pet hotel where he’d be staying during their trip. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t hear the door, so when Carol placed a hand on her back to greet her Therese jumped. 

“Oh sorry! I didn’t hear you. Let me help you with that,” said Therese looking at the grocery bag Carol was holding in her other hand. 

“Nonsense. You have work to finish. How’s it going?” asked Carol as she rubbed Therese’s back.

“Good. I was just uploading them,” explained Therese as she stretched her back and arms. She had been sitting in the same position for too long she now realised. 

“You work so hard my love,” said Carol and she kissed Therese’s head before heading to the kitchen. 

With a smile on Therese’s face she returned her attention back to her computer to find the file with the pictures ready to be attached. She drafted a short email to the client and clicked send.  _ Right on time, _ she said to herself feeling proud to having accomplished the work. She closed the computer and got up to head to the kitchen to join her family there. She stood by the door and watched Rindy help Carol by taking the groceries out of the bag and placing them on the counter while she gave a not so short summary of the movie she had just watched. Therese finally walked in and took over Rindy’s task since the girl seemed to be more focused on her storytelling.

“Are you cooking dinner again, mum?” she asked Carol who was filling a pot with water from the sink. 

“Yes. Your other mom here needs to finish work before we go on our trip tomorrow. Did you finish packing like I told you?”

“III...yeeessss,” replied Rindy without looking at either of them.

“Nerinda!” exclaimed Carol with a stern look, both hands resting on her hips.

“I got this,” interrupted Therese as she placed a hand on Carol’s shoulder giving her a knowing look. “Come on, little one, let’s finish packing.” She grabbed Rindy by the hand and together they headed to Rindy’s room. 

The small pink suitcase still laid half full on the bedroom floor. They were going away for just two and a half days, and since it was still summer there wasn’t too much to pack thankfully. They were going through Rindy’s swimsuits when Therese heard a crashing sound coming from the kitchen. 

“Is everything OK?” Therese yelled from Rindy’s room. 

There was no answer from the blond.

“Stay here packing and I’ll go check on your mom,” she told Rindy.

When she finally reached the kitchen she found Carol bent over with both hands on top of the kitchen counter. She noticed her cell phone lying next to her hand with the screen still unlocked. There was glass shattered on the floor, so Therese had to make her way next to Carol careful not to step on any glass despite having shoes on. Only when she stood right next to the blond did she notice her heavy breathing. 

“Carol, what happened?” she asked with a trembling voice. She grabbed Carol by the arm and forced her to turn around to face her. 

“It’s my mother…” Carol answered in a whisper. She had a painful look in her eyes.

Therese took one of Carol’s hands and placed a soft kiss on top of it before resting it on her chest. She started to draw circles with her thumb as a sign for the other woman to continue talking.

“It was the hospital. My mother had a heart attack.”

“Is she OK?” Therese’s eyes widened at the news.

“The doctors managed to stabilizer her but she’s still very weak. She...she asked to see me,” she said and she finally let the tears that had started to form in her eyes fall. 

“Oh Carol...” Therese hurried to hold her tight.

Carol buried her face in Therese’s shoulder and let out a small cry which was followed by heavy sobs. Therese knew Carol was trying to be as quiet as possible to not alert Rindy. Luckily she didn’t seem to have gotten aware of the situation taking place in the kitchen since she had remained in her room. When the sobs started to fade away, Therese took Carol by the shoulders and pushed her back a little to be able to hold Carol’s face with both hands.

“What are you going to do?” asked Therese as she caressed the blond’s cheek with her thumb.

“I don’t know, Therese… I don’t know.” There was a mixture of fear and doubt in her eyes.

“I think you should go see her. She’s still your mother.”

“I know… but I can’t go alone. Come with me, please,” Carol begged.

Therese had never seen her in such a vulnerable state before. She knew that Carol’s relationship with her mother had never been strong, and it had become non existent in the last couple of years since she had divorced Harge. Therese had brought up the subject a few times with the intention to understand why they were still distant and hopefully bring them together again but she had only encountered resistance from Carol each time she did, so she had decided best not to mention her again. Therese couldn’t begin to imagine all the mixed feelings Carol was feeling at that moment and all she wanted to do was take her pain away; but as someone who had lost her own mother at a young age, she also knew how important it was to still have one. 

“Of course I’ll go with you. Go freshen up. I’ll tell Rindy.”

After sharing the news with Rindy, Therese went back to the dining table and searched for her phone to call Dannie. She felt slightly bad for having to ask her dear friend to babysit for Rindy in such short notice but this was urgent and he was the one close by. When she returned to their bedroom, she found Carol and Rindy sharing a warm tight embrace. Therese joined them and they stayed together like that until the doorbell rang.

* * *

Once they arrived at the hospital, they made their way straight to reception in order to find out in which room Carol’s mom was admitted. A few minutes later, a doctor arrived and explained them Mrs. Ross current state: she was conscious but she needed to be administered oxygen to help her breathing since her vitals were still weak after the heart failure. The doctor didn’t give them a positive prognosis and asked them to be prepared for the worst. Then he guided them to the room, and when they reached the door, Carol grabbed Therese by the hand. The blond took a deep breath before she stepped in. Therese had never liked the sound or smell of hospitals since they always made her feel nervous and anxious. She was trying hard to stay strong for Carol but when they finally approached the bed where Carol’s mother was lying Therese couldn't help bringing her free hand to her mouth. The old woman was wired to different machines that emitted different noises or lights. She had her eyes closed while a cannula attached to her nose was administering the oxygen. Despite all these, Therese could still see a strong resemblance of Carol in this old woman, and an undoubtedly elegance and beauty. Therese focus on her hands and noticed that she was wearing a nail color similar to the one Carol liked to wear which made Therese smile a little inside. 

Carol made her way around the bed and sat down carefully on a chair next to it while Therese stood right behind her feeling unsure of what to do next. She watched as Carol placed a trembling hand on top of her mother’s veiny and wrinkled one and waited for any kind of response which didn’t take long.

“Carol...is that you?” the old lady asked in a barely audible voice and with her eyes still closed. 

“Yes mother, it’s me,” replied Carol. 

Therese could hear a trembling in her voice so she placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly for assurance. 

“I knew you’d come,” said the old lady as she slowly started to open her eyes. 

Once they were fully opened, she turned her head to her left and finally focused on her daughter who still had her hand on top of hers. Her eyes, as Therese could see, were almost the same color as Carol’s which made them look even more alike. This pair of older eyes were grey with flecks of light blue in them which to Therese made them look sad despite the loving look they were giving at Carol. Her expression changed when she noticed Therese standing behind Carol and focused all her attention on her making Therese feel like a deer caught in the wilderness. She quickly removed her hand from Carol’s shoulder and held her breath. Carol, noticing the silent exchange between both women, turned to one side and pulled Therese forward by her arm until she stood next to her.

“Mother, this is Therese...my wife,” she finished in a low voice.

If Therese hadn’t been already holding her breath, she would have held it even harder at the sound of those last words; but she had to force herself to breathe again for the last thing she wished was to faint right then and there. The silence that followed felt more like ages than seconds and neither of Carol or Therese expected to hear the words that cut the silence.

“I know, darling,” whispered the woman with a weak smile. 

“H-...how.” Carol said as she sat back on the chair taken aback by the confession. Therese just stood there unable to move; not even blink.

“I never stopped caring about you.” The old woman stopped to breathe in oxygen from her nose. “You’re my only child. It took a lot of effort but finally Abby agreed to keep me updated. I always liked that girl.” 

Therese could she from the corner of her eye how Carol opened her mouth a couple of times in an attempt to speak but failed to do so. The old woman started to move her hand with her palm up in search of Carol’s and she quickly took her mother’s hand in hers once again. 

“Are you happy?”

“Yes mother,” replied Carol as she turned to look at Therese with a loving smile, and with her free hand she took Theres’s right and gave it a warm kiss. “Very much so.”

“Then that’s all I need to know. I’m glad to finally meet you, Therese.” The old woman was now looking back at Therese with the same affection she had shown for Carol moments ago.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Therese managed to say back as she faced her with a shy smile.

The mood in the room drastically changed after that exchange and both women started to feel more at ease, especially Therese who had been holding back her feelings ever since they entered the room. She could only talk a little about herself before the old woman began to drift back to sleep closing her eyes. Carol bent over the bed to get closer to her and gently pushed some hair strands away from her mother’s face and then proceeded to stroke her head. Therese was melting on the inside at the sight of Carol being so caring and loving towards her mother; something she’d never expected to witness. But Therese couldn’t help feeling a pinch of sadness for not being able to share these precious moments with her own mother. Every once in awhile she’d close her eyes at night and try to remember her mother’s loving face or her gentle voice but no matter how hard she tried, those memories weren’t coming back to her. 

Therese forced herself out of her head to focus back on the present. She looked outside the window and noticed that it was getting late. She gave a step closer to Carol and whispered her name to get her attention.

“Carol. It’s getting late. Rindy must be worried and we have a flight to catch tomorrow.”

“Therese,” said Carol as she got up and walked Therese to a corner of the room for a little privacy. She held Therese’s cheek with one hand before she continued. “I can’t leave her. Not like this, not now that we’ve found each other again. I know I sound terribly selfish but I just...”

“You’re not selfish. I understand, more than you think. You stay here and I’ll go back home and tell Rindy about the change of plans…”

“Oh no! She’ll be crashed if we cancel the trip.”

“So what do you suggest then?” Therese wondered.

“You can still go with her...only if you want to that is,” pointed Carol with a nervous look on her face.

“Of course I do but...are you sure? What if…? I don’t want to ruin anything,” said Threese trying to sound convincing.

The truth was she was actually feeling a little afraid of travelling alone with Rindy since she knew how important she was to Carol and the idea of anything happening to her under Therese’s care would simply destroy her forever. During the last year since she had become Rindy’s other mother she had learned a lot of things about motherhood such as taking care of a high fever, preparing lunch for school, giving fun and adventurous baths, or just simply listening to enrapturing stories. Still, Therese knew there was more to learn in her role as a young mother, and being trusted with a child to fly over states definitely felt like a big test she wasn’t sure she was ready to take. 

“You won’t ruin anything, love. I trust you. You’re the strongest and bravest person I know. You flew across continents all alone to follow your dreams, remember? Travelling with Rindy does sound like a piece of cake compared to that!” 

Both women shared a small laugh before Therese buried her face in Carol’s chest and wrapped her arms around her waist tightly while the blond did the same around her shoulders. Therese took in a deep breath to let the smell of Carol’s skin mixed with her perfume soothe her. She let out a sigh before she tilted her head back and looked up to Carol while still holding her close with her ams. 

“I’m going to miss you...so much.”

“It’s only two and a half days, silly,” said Carol as she touched her nose with a finger and grinned at her.

“But it feels much longer when you’re not there,” replied Therese pouting her lips.

“I will miss you very much, my angel.” Carol tilted her head down to meet Therese’s lips. They kissed passionately as if it were the last kiss, forgetting about where they were standing until the sound of a door opening brought them back to reality. A nurse entered the room and went straight to check on the machines next to the bed. Both women giggled like two teenagers who had just been caught doing something naughty.

“Please keep me updated on her, OK?,” requested Therese pointing to Carol’s mother with her head. “I’m so happy to see you two together again,” said Therese with a genuine smile. 

“I will. Thank you for making me come here. I couldn't have done it without you. And please send me pictures of all the rides!”

“We will. I love you, Carol,” Therese whispered softly aware of the nurse still in the room.

“I love you more, my angel,” Carol replied before kissing her one last time.

When Therese got back home, she found Dannie and Rindy cuddling on the couch watching TV. Rindy run towards her gave her a big hug the moment she saw her. Therese did the same to Dannie, and thanked him for taking care of everything before she kissed him goodbye. Once they were alone, Therese sat down on the couch with Rindy on her lap and told her the news about the two of them going to Disney while Carol stayed behind with her mother.

“I understand if you’re disappointed and you don’t want to go with me alone. Your mom and I just want you to be happy,” explained Therese as she caressed Rindy’s face.

“I want to go with you, mommy! I’m gonna miss mom,” confessed the little one with a sad smile.

“I will miss her, too,” said Therese placing a kiss on the girl’s head. “But she will be much happier with the idea of us having fun at all those rides. She made me promise to send her pictures of each one! Would you like that?”

“Yes! Can we get her a teddy?”

“Of course we can. She will love it.”

After Rindy and Therese got ready for bed and jumped together in the big bed, they Facetimed Carol to say goodnight. 

* * *

The next morning both girls got up in a rush since they had to make it to the airport an hour before the flight and traffic in New York could always be a nightmare when you least needed it to be. All those mornings getting Rindy ready for school had finally paid off and Therese managed to get them both ready right on time, even affording a quick breakfast before leaving. On their taxi ride to the airport, Therese noticed that Rindy was quieter than usual as she looked through the window. Therese was sure she was thinking about her mom as much as she did now that the trip was becoming more real with each passing minute. 

“Are you nervous about flying?” asked Therese trying to shift the mood inside the car. 

“Not really. Daddy and I always took a plane to visit grandma and grandpa,” replied Rindy nonchalantly still looking outside the window. 

Therese felt a little uncomfortable at the mention of Harge unsure of what to say next so she opted for staying silent. 

“Are you scared?” continued Rindy now turning her head to look back at Therese. 

“A little. I only flew once before, when I came here. Will you hold my hand if I get too scared?”

“Yes, mommy,” answered the girl with a big smile.

After a little over an hour of drive, they finally arrived at the terminal. They quickly grabbed their suitcases from the back of the taxi, each carrying their own, and they made their way to the check in desk. As they waited in line for their turn, Therese looked through her bag for her and Rindy’s passports and boarding passes in order to have them ready. A few minutes later, the airline employee behind the counter called them and both Rindy and Therese stepped forward. Therese greeted the young lady with a nervous smile as she handed in their passports. The young lady took a close look at both passports, especially hers, before looking back at Therese with a questioning look. Therese could feel cold sweat running through her body and her head becoming dizzy. Even though Therese had obtained her residency over a year ago now and had all the right to be in the country, she still feared something could go wrong and have her status and right to stay taken away from her. She knew it was a silly thought, but the recent political climate didn’t look too appeasing so she couldn’t help worrying about her future. Therese forced herself to take a deep breath before she prepared herself to talk.

“Is everything OK?” 

“How do you know the little girl?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, I'm back! Unfortunately I don't have my degree yet (I have to take an exam for that) but I’m finally done with classes forever at university so I’m free again to write. It wasn’t easy to get back to the story after such a long hiatus so I hope I was able to deliver with this new chapter. 
> 
> Your comments and thoughts are always welcome and would make me very happy! Thank you Charlie for beta reading1
> 
> I’d like to wish you Happy Holidays full of love and yummy food! All your support this far has been truly a present ♥


	7. Chapter 7

“How do you know the little girl?” asked the young lady behind the counter with a stern look. She was still holding both passports in her hand. 

“She-... she’s my daughter,” stuttered Therese. She could hear her heart beating inside her ears.

“Why does she have a different last name then?” 

“Because… she’s my wife’s daughter.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s at the hospital with her mother. She was going to come with us originally but…”

“Do you have any legal documents with you to support all this?”

“No… I’m not sure...I don’t know what you mean…?” Therese could hear her own voice cracking. 

She was trying hard to keep herself together for Rindy who was still standing next to her, but she noticed the tremble in Therese’s voice.

“Mommy, what’s going on?” asked Rindy with concern as she took one of Therese’s hands in hers and tugged down to get her attention.

“I don’t know… I don’t know…” replied Therese looking down at Rindy with watery eyes. 

She remembered how just a couple of minutes before she had asked Rindy in the taxi if she’d hold her hand if she got scared during the flight. She was scared now, very scared.

“Ma’am, please come with me,” said a male voice. 

Therese gave a jump before she turned around to see a tall dark man in uniform standing next to her right. He made a quick gesture with his head before he turned around and started to walk. Therese, still in shock, only managed to agree with her head. She grabbed the handle of her suitcase with one hand while she still held Rindy with her other hand tightly. She saw in the corner of her eye the people who had been queuing behind them staring at them and whispering. Therese kept her eyes glued to the ground as they followed the officer.

“Where are we going, mommy?” 

“I don’t know, Rin. Everything is going to be OK.” She said those last words more to herself than for Rindy. 

Therese could still hear inside her head Carol telling her how she trusted her with Rindy but with every step she gave she felt less worthy of that trust. She didn’t understand what was happening; why they were being taken to another part of the airport; why people looked at her with such judgment in their eyes. What had she done wrong?

It didn’t take long for them to reach their destination. Only then did Therese look up to see the tall man holding the door to an office open. She and Rindy stepped inside the small room lit with cold artificial light and furnished with just a desk and three chairs. The white walls were mostly naked except for boards with what seemed to be indications or regulations attached to them. The officer closed the door and took a seat behind the desk and he looked at Therese who was still standing on the same spot with an arm around Rindy. 

“Please sit down both of you,” instructed the man.

Once seated, Therese let out slowly the breath she had been holding since she entered the cold room. Rindy sat next to her never letting go of Therese’s hand. The man placed the two passports on the table in front of them.

“Do you understand why you’re here?”

“I-... I don’t know.”

“How do you know this woman?” asked the man now looking at Rindy.

“She’s my mommy,” replied Rindy with such assurance that it took Therese by surprise. 

“But she’s not your  _ real  _ mother, is she? She didn’t have you inside her belly.”

“No…” 

“Where is your real mother?”

“She...she is…” Rindy turned her head to Therese.

Therese could she the assurance she had shown just a few seconds before fading to let room to fear which was showing in her eyes and it broke Therese’s heart.

“As I said before…,” interrupted Therese trying to stay strong. “My wife, her  _ real  _ mother, is at the hospital taking care of her mother who got sick at the last minute. She was supposed to come with us.”

“What’s your wife’s name?”

“Carol Ross.”

The man continued to ask questions about when they got married, where they lived, where they worked, and he also repeated some of the questions to see if he got the same answer from Therese. The torturous interrogation lasted for a couple of minutes which felt like ages to Therese.

“You understand that I can’t let you go unless you prove that all of this is true. Do you have the adoption papers?”

“I...no, I don’t.” 

And it finally hit her. Now she understood why all of this was happening; why both the young lady and the officer in front of her looked at her with a questioning look.  _ I’m not Rindy’s mother. _ Not to the eyes of the law or in situations like this. Until now, she had never experienced a situation which had made her question her role as Rindy’s mother but she could see now that the reason for that had been Carol who had always been there with her making any of these technicalities disappear. So why would she have to think about adoption? It all made sense now that she was by herself. 

“Can I call my wife, please? She has all the documents to prove that what I’m saying is true,” continued Therese. 

“Go ahead.”

Therese searched for her phone inside her bag with trembling hands; she could feel the man’s eyes on her watching her every move. She felt a pang in her stomach as she pressed on Carol’s contact name and waited for her to pick up. She looked back at Rindy and gave her a shy smile.  _ We should be on the plane by now on our way to Disney, _ Therese thought but instead they were being retained at the airport and depending on Carol to rescue them. Therese felt like she had failed both Rindy and Carol. 

The phone continued to ring until it reached voicemail. Therese hung up and tried again.  _ Carol, please pick up! _ she said to herself. She turned her head towards the officer who was still staring at her.  _ Ring… ring… ring… _

“Therese! Is everything OK?” answered Carol with a concerned voice.

“Oh Carol, finally!”

“Why aren’t you on the plane? Where are you?” 

“We’re still at the airport. Carol...we couldn’t fly because I’m not Rindy’s mother.”

“What do you mean? Of course you are…”

“Carol, I didn’t adopt her.”

There was silence on the other side of the line. Therese had to check her phone’s screen to make sure she hadn’t accidentally cut the call.

“Carol, are you there?”

“Yes… this is all my fault. I should have known this would happen if I didn’t come with you. I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid…” Therese could hear the anxiety in her voice. 

“Carol, please don’t. You were worried about your mother.”

“I’m so sorry, Therese,” she cried.

“Carol, listen to me. I need you to come here to the airport and bring our marriage certificate and… Rindy’s birth certificate. They won’t let us leave unless I prove to them that we’re a family.”

“Of course, yes. I’ll be there soon as possible. Wait for me, love,” she murmured before ending the call.

* * *

It took Carol another hour to finally arrive at the airport. As soon as she opened the door, Rindy jumped off Therese’s lap where she was resting and ran towards the blonde. Therese noticed that Carol was still in yesterday's clothes and had a very exhausted look on her face. Therese stayed in her seat and just gave Carol a loving smile when their eyes met.

“Mommy, mommy!” she yelled as she wrapped her arms around her mother’s legs.

“Sunshine, I need to talk to the officer,” said Carol as she moved Rindy to a side and made her way to the desk. She took a seat next to Therese with Rindy by her side. 

“I’m Carol Ross. I’m her wife,” announced Carol as she took out the documents Therese has asked her to bring. “Here’s our marriage certificate,” she said as she handed the officer the first paper. “And here’s my daughter’s birth certificate. And this is my plane ticket. I was supposed to fly with them but my mother got hospitalized last night.”

The officer took a close look at the documents without saying a word. Carol looked down to her right and saw Therese’s entwined hands that were resting on her lap. Carol reached out a hand slowly, took one of Therese’s in hers and caressed the top of her hand with her thumb. At that moment Therese looked up and locked eyes with hers. She could feel Carol’s calming warmth spreading through her body and she felt she could breathe again for the first time since she had been left alone with Rindy. 

“Alright… you can leave now,” spat the officer looking at both women his rigid face unchanged.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry for the misunderstanding,” replied Carol as she put the documents back inside her purse. 

It took Therese a moment to understand the officer’s words and finally managed to whisper a  _ thank you _ as they got up to leave.

The ride in the car was mostly silent. Rindy fell asleep in her seat almost immediately after getting in. The tension between both women was tangible and Therese knew she and Carol needed to talk about what just happened but now wasn’t the right time or place. Therese just wanted to leave their failed trip behind and focus on being there for Carol and her mother. The few words they exchanged were when Therese asked Carol if she needed to be right back at the hospital and she replied that Abby was taking care of her mother while she was away.

* * *

When they finally arrived back home, Therese carried both suitcases inside while Carol carried a sleeping Rindy in her arms. Carol continued her way to their bedroom and when she reached the door she turned halfway around to look back at Therese.

“Come on,” she just said and entered the room.

Therese followed her after leaving the suitcases and her bag in the living room. When she stepped inside their bedroom she found them already lying on top of the bed cover, Carol cuddling against Rindy’s back as she carefully ran her fingers through the girl’s long brown hair. Therese made her way around the bed and got in, resting on her side opposite to Carol with Rindy in the middle. Therese stared at those troubled blue eyes staring back at her. Despite Carol’s put together look back at the airport, Therese could see the sadness and sorrow hiding behind those eyes; there was no pretending when it came to them. Carol moved her hand from Rindy’s hair to Therese’s and began to scratch the front of her scalp gently making Therese close her eyes. She took a deep breath and released all the stress and worries from the early morning as she breathed out. She could feel her eyelids becoming heavier with each passing second and before she knew it she was asleep. 

By the time she woke up a few hours later in the afternoon, Carol was already gone. She noticed the clothes she had been wearing earlier lying on the empty side of the bed. She looked at the clock by the nightstand which showed 2:30 PM. Therese returned her attention to Rindy who was still sleeping next to her and she placed a soft kiss on top of her head before she got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Since it was already late to cook a proper meal, she prepared tuna sandwiches with chips instead. She put the food together with glasses of apple juice on a tray and headed back to the bedroom. 

“Rin, wake up. I made you lunch.”

The little girl gave a low whine as a response. She rubbed her eyes with both hands before she opened them. 

“Where’s mom?”

“She’s back at the hospital,” replied Therese as she helped Rindy sit against the headboard. She then handed her a sandwich and they both started to eat.

“Rindy, I’m sorry for not having been able to take you to Disney. You know I love you, right?”

“Yes, I know,” replied Rindy between bites. 

“I want to be your mother and I’m going to do whatever it takes. I don’t want what happened today to happen...ever again…” she said with a broken voice and before she realized tears started to fall down her cheeks.

Rindy looked at her with a surprised look for she had never seen Therese breaking down like that in front of her. It took the little girl a second to react; she put the rest of her sandwich back on the plate before she got up on her knees and threw herself around Therese’s shoulders and gave her a tight hug. Therese, still holding her sandwich, wrapped her arms around the small girl and buried her face in her soft warm hair. The sound of Therese’s phone ringing broke them apart. Therese got up and ran back to the living room where she had left it when they arrived back home. It was Carol calling.

“Hey.”

“Hey there. I called you an hour ago but you must have been sleeping.”

“Yes, we just woke up. We were having something to eat. How’s your mother doing?”

“Still the same. She was awake a while ago. Therese… I want Rindy to see her one last time. She and Rindy used to be so close but then I let the divorce get in the way and I don’t want to repeat the same mistake now. Could you please bring her over?”

“Yes, of course. I’m more than happy to”

“Is Rindy there with you? I need to ask her if she’s fine with it.”

“No… wait,” said Therese before she ran back to the bedroom. 

“You’re mom wants to ask you something,” she told Rindy. “You’re on speaker,” she said to Carol.

“Hi mom.”

“Hi sunshine. I just asked Therese to bring you over here to see grandma. I know we haven’t seen her in a while but she’s not well and I want you to see her while she’s awake, is that OK?”

“Yes...,” she replied the girl shily as she looked at Therese who placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. 

“Alright then. Abby is here and she wants to ask you something as well.”

“Hi Therese. Hi Rindy,” greeted Abby from the other side of the line.

“Hi!” greeted Therese and Rindy at the same time. 

“Rindy, would you like to spend the rest of the weekend with me and Crystal at the beach house and watch the fireworks? What do you say?”

“YES! YES!” replied the little one with a smile from ear to ear. 

“Good thing we haven’t unpacked yet,” said Therese and gave Rindy a wink.

“Great! I’ll wait for you guys here. See ya!”

* * *

They arrived at the hospital later in the afternoon carrying Rindy’s suitcase and a bag Therese had packed to stay the night with Carol at the hospital. Before opening the door to the room, Therese quickly explained to Rindy that her grandmother would be probably sleeping and they had to be quiet. They stepped inside the room and greeted Abby before approaching Carol by the bedside. Fortunately, Carol’s mother was awake and when her eyes focused on Rindy a weak but loving smile appeared on her face. Rindy was a little shy at the beginning and also nervous to see her grandmother in that delicate state but it didn't take much for the two of them to reconnect again. Therese watched their interaction with the same affection as she had done with Carol but she also couldn't help feeling sad for the short amount of time they had together. Knowing Carol like the back of her hand, she was sure that was one of the reasons for Carol’s sad eyes. 

Rindy told her grandmother about school, her friends, and their new dog Milan. Carol couldn’t help smiling as she watched her daughter talk about the time Milan chewed on one of her favorite dolls; and Therese couldn’t help smiling at both of them. They talked for just a few more minutes since they had to keep the interactions with the old woman rather short. Before Abby left with Rindy for the weekend, Carol helped Rindy give her grandma a kiss goodbye. 

Once they were alone, Therese had to drag Carol out of the room to go to the hospital’s cafeteria and have something to eat after Carol confessed that she hadn’t had a proper meal since last night. On their way back, they took a different corridor which led to the maternity ward and as they walked hand in hand they passed through the newborn nursery. Therese stood still in front of the display window where a couple of newborn babies could be seen sleeping on their little beds. Without saying a word, Therese let go off Carol’s hand to approach the window and be able to take a closer look at the sleeping little angels. She didn’t jump when she felt Carol’s arms wrap around her waist and instead she leaned her body against Carol’s chest and rested her head on her shoulder. They stood quietly in each other’s arms as they looked through the window. Therese focused her attention again on the newborns: she observed their perfectly tiny heads covered in tiny matching hats, their scrunched sleeping faces, their tiny little fists barely showing on top of the blankets wrapped around them.

“They are so little,” said Therese breaking the silence between them. 

“They are. I almost forgot how little they could be.”

“Was it hard...with Rindy?”

“What do you mean? The pregnancy?”

“Yes, and giving birth.”

“The pregnancy wasn't easy. I had to get shots during it in order to make sure I wouldn't lose her like I did with my other pregnancies. I had to go to the doctor very often to get checked. And then was the cesarean delivery and the recovery that came with it. No, it definitely wasn’t easy but I got the most amazing daughter I could ask for out of it. Why do you ask?”

“Because… I think I want one.” Therese made a pause to choose  her next words carefully. “After what happened today at the airport with Rindy, I just…” Therese turned around to look at Carol before she continued “...it made me want to have something that’s mine. Something that nobody would question.” 

Therese studied Carol’s reaction to these last words and when the blonde stayed silent staring back at her, Therese hurried to continue. “Oh don’t get me wrong, I love Rindy! I want to be her mother, I want to adopt her… but I also want to have something that came out of me. Am I being awful? Please say something, Carol.” Therese could feel her heart beating fast after speech and she feared she had just said something that might have hurt Carol. But it was the truth, she was starting to feel this desire to become a mother and experience the process first hand. 

Finally, Carol reacted by taking Therese’s face with both hands as blue eyes looked straight into green.

“Therese, you’re not awful. I think it’s beautiful that you want to experience the gift of giving life. Oh baby…” Carol rested her forehead against Therese’s and closed her eyes before she let her lips find their way back to Therese. She kissed her tenderly as she held her in her arms. Therese could feel a fire growing inside her belly which spread all over her body. This was the answer she needed; to feel Carol’s love was all she needed to make this important decision. Therese kissed her back with the same warmth and tenderness before she broke it to speak again.

“But not right now. First I want to adopt Rindy… and keep working…”

“Of course my angel. I’m going to be there with you whenever you decide it’s time. I love you...,” said Carol as she placed a peck on Therese’s lips, “I love you…,” and another one, “I love you,” and another one.

As they were turning around the corner and approached their corridor, they saw a doctor and a nurse running in the opposite direction and making their way through the door to Carol’s mother room which had a red light going on and off. Therese turned her head quickly to her side and watched as the pink from Carol’s cheeks draining away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know in the comments how awful I am for ruining their trip to Disney...
> 
> Many thanks to Charlie for beta reading it!
> 
> Sending much love to those of you in Australia and the Philippines, this one is for you. Stay safe my friends!


	8. Chapter 8

“Carol…” yelled Therese, as she grabbed the blonde by the arm, who seemed to be losing balance.

Carol looked at her with idle eyes and she even blinked a couple of times before she focused again on what was happening.

“C’mon Carol, let’s sit for a minute,” said Therese, still holding her by the arm. There were a couple of seats a few steps away from them to the left.

“No…! I want to know what’s happening.” Carol took a deep breath before she straightened herself and started to walk with Therese by her side.

When they finally entered the room, the sound of the machines going off made them hold their breath. Both women stayed frozen on the spot watching as the nurses were assisting the doctor with oxygen while the doctor used a defibrillator on Carol’s mother to restore her cardiac heartbeat, which at the moment was nonexistent. The doctor turned his head towards them still holding the defibrillator in both hands and the look on his face said it all. Carol let out a cry before she wrapped her arms around Therese and buried her face in the brunette’s shoulders. Therese wrapped her arms around Carol’s waist and held her tight to provide her some support which wasn’t easy given the height difference between them. Therese closed her eyes as the doctor issued an instruction to raise the voltage one last time before he went again with the loaded plates. The room was filled with a high pitched sound and a thud followed by the piercing and heartbreaking sound of a flatline. Therese felt Carol’s arms holding her even tighter around the shoulders causing the brunette to stop breathing due to the force but she would take it for Carol. She kept her eyes closed tightly to keep the tears forming behind her eyelids from falling. 

All of the sudden the room became quiet when the sound of the machines stopped and Therese wondered if they had disappeared into some other time and space where Carol’s mother didn’t just pass away and they could continue to be a happy family; but the doctor’s voice brought her back.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. We tried everything we could,” said the man.

Carol straightened herself up but she kept an arm around Therese’s shoulder for support.

“Tha-...thank you…” she replied in a whisper between sobs, as tears streamed down her face.

This sight of Carol’s distress broke Therese into pieces and she let her own tears fall. 

“You can have a moment with her before we take her,” indicated the doctor before he and the rest of the nurses left the room.

They walked together to the bed where Carol’s mom laid with her eyes closed. One could think she was still asleep if it wasn’t for the lack of tubes and wires that were no longer connected to her. Carol stared at her mother for a few minutes before she ran a hand around her face tenderly.

“She’s gone…” whispered Carol still looking at her mother.

That affirmation caught Therese off guard for she didn’t know what to add to that.  _ At least you could say goodbye,”  _ were the words that formed inside Therese’s head but she didn’t say them aloud because she knew they wouldn’t make Carol feel any better, not now. What Carol needed was support and love so instead, Therese took a step closer and placed a hand on Carol’s back and gently rubbed it against it. As if encouraged by Therese’s touch, Carol bent over and placed one last kiss on top of her mother’s head.

Later that night when they finally arrived home they went straight to their bedroom. Carol fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow so Therese had to remove her shoes and pants and leave her in her t-shirt and underwear to sleep in. She managed to carefully drag the sheets from under Carol and cover her body with them without waking her up. After taking off her own shoes and clothes and leaving everything on top of a chair, she turned on the lamp on her nightstand and turned off the ceiling light. Then she headed to the bathroom in her underwear and once inside, she closed the door without turning the lights on. The moonlight coming through the window was enough. Therese slid down with her back against the door until she ended up sitting on the cold bathroom floor; next she brought both her knees up to her chest with her arms around them and she buried her face between them. She closed her eyes and took one deep breath through her nose before she let it out slowly through her mouth, but no matter how many times she repeated this her brain kept bringing back flashes of memories from her parents, and the accident. With the passing of Carol’s mother being the first death Therese had experienced since her parents’, all these painful feelings and memories she had suppressed for years in order to survive were coming back to her with the power of thunder. Tears started to run down her face and down her tights as her breathing got heavier and heavier. Therese bit into her hand in order to remain as quiet as possible so as to not wake Carol up on the other side of the door, and only when the flow of tears and sobs decreased did she release her hand from her mouth. She stayed with her head between her arms until her breathing normalized again and once it did, she got up on her feet. She didn’t have to look at herself in the mirror to know how red and puffy her face looked, so without looking up she turned the cold water on, and with the help of both hands she splashed water across her face. She looked down at her hands and saw her teeth marks pressed on the top of her right hand and she hoped they’d be gone by morning so Carol wouldn’t question her about them.

Therese opened the bathroom door again and was glad to find Carol still asleep on her side, unbothered by her breakdown from a few minutes before. She made her way to her side of the bed and sat down before she took off her bra and grabbed her sleeping top from underneath her pillow. She put the t-shirt on and switched the light off before she laid her face on the bed with her arms above her head and stared into the darkness trying not to think of anything. Right then Therese perceived movement on the mattress, a shift of pressure getting closer to her. Carol still asleep, rested her head next to Therese’s side, right on the empty space Therese’s raised arms left, and slid her free arm across the brunette’s chest. Therese heard a soft mutter coming from Carol that she couldn’t understand since her lips were almost pressed against Therese’s side. Therese lowered her arm and wrapped it around the sleeping blonde, her hand drawing circles around the pale glowing arm across her chest. And with the feeling of Carol’s own breathing against her she finally let herself fall asleep.

* * *

The next few days following Carol’s mother passing were filled with procedures related to the filing of the Last Will and Testament with the probate court and its reading. The Will’s assigned executor would be the one responsible for taking care of the medical bills as well as the funeral service according to Carol’s mother last wishes: she had wanted a small service with close family and friends and to be buried next to her husband’s remains at the family burial plot. The only thing Carol would have to take care of would be the writing of her mother’s eulogy speech.

During this time, Therese noticed that Carol’s behaviour wasn’t what she had expected. For some reason Therese had hoped Carol would be closer than ever, needing affection, caring words, or just someone to be by her side to hold her if she needed to cry; but the blonde reacted in the opposite way. Therese realised then that everybody has a different way of dealing with loss; some people are more vocal or expressive with their pain: they scream, they cry, they break things, or they ask for love and attention from their loved ones. And then there were people like Carol, who built a wall around themselves, not letting their emotions or needs pass through it, locking themselves up to pretend the pain isn’t there. After all this time together, Therese had thought she had somehow managed to get this free access into Carol’s psyche, allowing her to see that side of Carol that she often tried to hide away in order to remain unbreakably strong in front of her family. Therese could count the times Carol had shown vulnerability or insecurity with the fingers of one hand but instead of pushing for more moments like this, she had learned to treasure those few ones. Because that was who Carol was, the woman Therese had madly fallen in love with; the strong, caring woman who would always put her family first, even before her own wellbeing. 

Carol spent most of the first days after her mother’s death in bed, leaving Therese and Rindy to themselves. The blonde would hardly leave the room so Therese had to make sure Carol would eat something or just make sure she was alright. Every time Therese would try to talk to her, the blonde would look away, her eyes unfocused as if she was staring into oblivion, and what worried Therese the most was that Carol didn’t shed any more tears; she just looked drained of any emotion. Therese has never felt so far away from someone while being right next to them. Therese felt sorry for Rindy to have her see her mother like that, and she was more than happy when one of the girl’s friends, aware of the situation, invited her to spend the following weekend prior to the funeral with them. 

  
  


On Saturday, Therese spent most of the morning working on some edits from a job she had recently gotten. She had checked on Carol a few times and had found her either sleeping or busy writing the eulogy, so Therese thought it was best to leave her alone to do it. Once Therese finished her edits, she decided to spend the rest of the afternoon developing films she had stashed in the last months since she had started working. It was so easy to lose track of time when she worked in her dark room that if it wasn’t for her wrist watch beeping at 8:00 she’d have stayed working until midnight. Therese hung the last picture to dry and thought about ordering food instead of cooking since she felt a bit tired. Before she opened the door she made sure that everything was in its right place. She made her way to the kitchen to look at some of the restaurant menus they had hanging by the fridge, but to her surprise she found Carol there, who was already cooking something by the stove. Therese stepped closer until she was standing next to her.

“I thought blueberry pancakes and ice cream for dinner would be a good idea… but you can order something else if you want,” explained Carol without looking at Therese as she flipped a pancake.

“Sounds delicious to me. You know they are my favorite,” she said with a smile.

“Also… I need your help.”

“What is it?” Therese noticed that Carol was still avoiding looking at her. 

“I’d like you to read what I wrote and tell me what you think. Be honest.”

“Of course.”

Despite not having much experience with these kind of texts, Therese was more than eager to help her since this was the first time in days that Carol had asked for anything from her. 

They ate pancakes with ice cream and a glass of Amarula on the rocks as suggested by Carol which complimented the rest of the sweet flavors perfectly. They had dinner in silence, each one stealing looks from the other. Therese knew that this dinner time together was Carol’s approach to being present again after spending days inside her own emotional cave and keeping everyone away, including her wife. Therese had even slept on the couch the previous nights to give Carol enough room to grieve, but it only made Therese miss her more at night and she hoped the blonde did as well. 

After they finished eating their meal, Carol poured them another glass of the cream liquor and asked Therese to wait on the couch while she went to the bedroom to look for her laptop. When Carol returned, she handed the laptop screen already opened to Therese and grabbed her glass of liquor. Right when Therese looked down at the screen to start reading she watched the blonde walking to the balcony and closing the door behind her, giving Therese privacy to read which she appreciated. Therese read through the one and a half pages twice to make sure she had understood everything since English wasn’t her first language and also Carol was a great writer and she knew how to use elaborate words and structures. Therese remembered all those speeches Carol used to do at the photography school and how confident and captivating she had looked at those events. Just as Therese was about to go through it one more time, she was startled by Carol entering the room once again.

“So… what do you think?” asked Carol leaning against the balcony door with crossed arms.

“It’s good, Carol,” answered Therese smiling at her from the couch. 

“Just good?!” she exclaimed softly as she held her now empty glass closer to her chest and stared at Therese nervously. “It has to be more than that...it has to be perfect.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Oh! You don’t know the rest of the Ross’s… they’d never forgive me if I delivered anything less than perfect,” scoffed the blonde.

“Carol, come sit here,” requested Therese patting on the empty space next to her on the couch.

Carol walked towards the couch and placed the empty glass on the coffee table in front of her. She sat next to Therese keeping a small distance between them as she looked down to the floor. Therese noticed this new attempt from the blonde to distance herself so she scooted over to close the space between them. Next she took one of Carol’s hands and rested it on top of her thigh and looked at her as she waited for the blonde to look back at her but she didn’t; she kept her eyes down but she didn’t remove her hand from the brunette’s grip. Therese sighed before she continued to talk. 

“You don’t have to worry about what others will think. What you wrote here is sincere and it was written from the heart; the love for your mother is there. You knew your mother better than anybody else; and the time you were apart from each other won’t change that. You know... when I watched you reconnect with your mother at the hospital I have to confess that I felt a bit jealous of you two…” 

Therese pronounced those last words in a sentence, without thinking. She quickly took a hand to her mouth surprised by her own confession. She couldn't take those words back, and she wished Carol wouldn’t take it the wrong way but given her behaviour lately she couldn't tell what her response would be. She had tried to give Carol her space but she just couldn’t walk on eggshells around her much longer. Therese felt as Carol remove her hand from underneath hers and she covered her face with both of them. Therese felt a knife through her heart when she heard the unmistakable muffled sound of sobs coming from Carol. 

“I’m sorry Carol, I didn’t mean to…”

Therese shifted a bit back in her seat to be able to face Carol and watched with horror as Carol slowly raised her head up and turned it towards her. She waited for the worst, but to Therese’s surprise, Carol didn’t seem to be hurt by her words; instead her blue eyes were sparkling and had a tint of guilt in them. 

“ _ I am _ so sorry, Therese. I never took a second to think about how you were feeling, love,” she said as she caressed Therese’s cheek with her thumb.

“I sometimes wish I could have had one last time with my parents. But I’m so glad that you could spend time with her. You know that, right?” she asked with distress.

“Of course I do. These past few days I’ve been blaming myself for all the time I spent apart from her; and not just me but Rindy as well. But I can’t change what happened in the past. I should be thankful for having made amends and for having been there with her until her last day.”

“Yes,” replied Therese with a proud smile.

“You’re always right.” Carol launched herself forward and wrapped both arms around Therese’s shoulders. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, my angel,” she whispered into Therese’s ear. 

Therese’s smile was so big it barely fit her face; but that heartwarming feeling quickly started to change to lust when she felt Carol’s warm lips around her neck. She closed her eyes and couldn’t help moaning as it was her body telling her how much it has missed the blonde’s touch. Therese tilted her head back and let Carol continue to place kisses all the way to the other side of her neck. Just when Carol began making her way down her neck to her chest, Therese took Carol’s face between both hands and stared into the blonde’s eyes which were silently begging for her touch as well. And that’s all Therese needed to finally smash her lips against Carol’s and kiss her. She didn’t wait a second longer to push her tongue inside Carol’s mouth and feel it against hers. Therese lowered her hands to take hold of Carol’s t-shirt rim and only stopped the kiss to take the piece of clothing as well as the sports bra she was wearing underneath off her. Therese picked up the kiss where she had left off, adding one hand around Carol’s waist and the other to one of the blonde’s bare breasts and started to massage it slowly. This caused Carol to gasp at the initial contact followed quickly by a series of low pitched whimpers. Therese suddenly felt Carol’s fingers grabbing the strip of her dress and pulling it down her mid arm. Next, she captured the brunette’s uncovered breast in her hand to do the same. Both women soon felt the need to explore more skin but there were still clothes between them. Therese stood up hurriedly before she pushed Carol against the back of the couch and proceeded to remove her shorts and underwear together in one swift move never breaking eye contact. Next, she pulled both strips down and pushed the dress down until it hit the floor leaving her in just her wet panties which she didn’t take off. She could feel her whole body throbbing at the sight of Carol’s naked body reclined on the couch, and what a new and exciting sight it was. Therese’s standing position gave her an unusual sense of control that made her feel even more aroused. Taking advantage of this power boost she bent down and used her hands to gently spread Carol’s legs wide open to reveal her already glistening center making her heart race with anticipation. She kneeled down and held the blonde’s thighs from underneath and brought her center closer to the edge of the couch to have better access to it. Therese could already smell Carol’s sweet scent making her head dizzy with lust and her mouth water. She looked up to Carol and saw the same craving and desire painted all over her face and down her restless body, screaming for the brunette’s touch down there. But Therese was going to make her wait a little for she first started to place slow tender kisses on the inner side of one of the blonde’s thighs, making her way towards her awaiting center but turning away from it to continue her torturing trail of kisses on the other thigh. She could hear Carol’s sounds of distress growing so she stopped midway to stare at her.

“Therese, please… I need you,” cried the blonde.

In response, Therese bit Carol’s thigh lightly before her face stood a few inches away from her vagina. She stroked her middle finger around the outer lips spreading some of the lubricant in the process before she ran her inner lips back and forth between two fingers that soon became more to increase the pressure of her arousing massage against her clit. Once she felt her fingers were lubricated enough, she pushed two fingers inside Carol’s entrance and pulled them out slowly, feeling a tightness all around them. She repeated these movements a couple of times before she added her mouth to the mix. She took Carol’s clit between her lips and started to make circles around it with her tongue which was followed by a symphony of Carol’s moans and whimpers that only grew with each passing second. Therese suddenly felt Carol’s fingers grab her by the hair and thrust her closer to her center making Therese let out a moan against her pussy. She could sense her own desire growing out of control so she decided to speed her movements to bring Carol over the edge quicker; and it didn’t take long to feel Carol’s legs close around her head tightly with her fist still holding Therese firmly by the head. 

Therese stayed in that position until she noticed Carol’s body beginning to relax. She gave her wet folds one last lick before she removed her face from her center and looked back up to find Carol panting with eyes closed. Therese used Carol’s thighs to push herself up. She asked Carol to sit up a little so she could sit on her lap. As she started to kiss the blonde passionately she couldn’t help rubbing her own center against Carol’s legs seeking for some kind of release. The blonde didn’t hesitate and slipped a hand inside Therese’s panties and began to rub her fingers against the brunette’s throbbing clit. The pleasuring session she had just given to Carol sure helped Therese to be all worked up and ready for the blonde to work her magic on her. The moment she felt those long slim fingers inside her, she let out a cry against Carol’s shoulder, followed by her trembling body collapsing on top of the blonde. 

* * *

The funeral service for Mrs. Ross gathered a small group of people given that Carol’s family had always been rather small with only distant cousins, aunts, and family friends attending. When it was Carol’s time to read her eulogy speech, Therese gave her hand an encouraging squeeze before the blonde got up from her seat and made her way to the podium to address the room full of guests. Carol cleared her voice and gave Therese one quick look before she started to speak. Therese heard a tremble in Carol’s voice when she started reading but as the minutes went by Therese could notice her face and shoulders getting more relaxed. Therese took a quick look around her and felt proud to see everyone moved by Carol’s words just as she knew would happen: some people were wiping tears that had fallen down their cheeks, while others agreed with their head in sympathy. Carol had that something (that Therese knew was her deep caramel voice) that could enrapture a whole room when she spoke. Therese then looked to her side to find Rindy holding her hand tightly while she stared at her mom with a smile on her face.

_ During all the time we spent apart from each other, she never stopped loving and caring for me despite our differences; and at the end she did not only accept me for who I truly am but also my family.  _

_ I will always carry you in my heart, mother. _

_ Forever. _

And with those last words Carol welcomed the respectful silence with a quick smile before she returned to her seat next to Therese and held her hand.

“That was beautiful, Carol,” she said with tears in her eyes. Although Therese had read those words already, to hear them there and then made her emotional.

“I love you. Forever,” replied Carol and she placed a small kiss on her lover’s lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made I poll on Twitter to know if you readers still enjoyed sex scenes since I always feel a bit weird writing them, and a big mayority voted “yes” so hopefully you’ll let me know in the comments if I did well or not!
> 
> Before hearing about the tragic news of Kobe Bryant’s death, I was going to share this song for all of you who have recently lost a loved one or just felt like needing a little caress to your soul. Now it feels more than right. I wish this song will bring you some love and peace: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gzKwOcCOYA
> 
> Thank you Ansi angel for your edits! 
> 
> Today we are reminded of how fragile and short life can be, so go and enjoy it!   
I love you all very much.


	9. Chapter 9

Many weeks have passed since Mrs. Ross's funeral service. The first drops of temperature and the changing colors of the trees from green to yellow, brown, and red unmistakably announced the beginning of [fall](https://media.timeout.com/images/103975511/image.jpg), Therese’s favorite season. This was the season in which she fell in love with not just the city but also _ her _. Therese had made it her tradition each beginning of fall to go through the different pictures she had taken during her first year at the photography school that had been part of the exercises and tests. Therese enjoyed looking at the very first shots she had taken back then and compared them to the last ones of the course and seeing the progress in her technique and skills. Among these photographs was this special shot, the very first picture Therese had taken of Carol, the mysterious lady standing in front of tall New York City buildings in her red coat, dark shades, and golden hair gently blowing in the air. The click of the camera hadn’t only represented the moment Therese captured the blonde in all her glory but it had also captured the moment something clicked inside Therese’s heart, and that something being love. Her brain had taken a little longer to process and understand what her heart had known all along since that fateful fall afternoon; in a city with millions of strangers, she had found her true love.

With both Carol and Rindy returning to work and school respectively, Therese could have these few private moments again to indulge herself with memories of the past when her busy and hectic present allowed her to do so. Fortunately, more photoshoot jobs had started to flow in at the studio Therese rented for her photoshoots. A week ago, Mark, the guy who owns the studio was approached by an important clothes brand requesting him to do a big publicity campaign for their upcoming collection. This job would require a lot of work during the two days of shooting so he immediately asked Therese to help him out with this big gig as an assistant. Given that he had seen some of Therese’s work before, and had also seen her in action making quick and asserted decisions during her own photoshoots, he knew she’d be perfect for the task at hand. Despite the short notice and the high demand of the job, Therese had been more than happy to agree to his offer since working for one of the big names in clothing design was more than she could have ever imagined. 

Therese worked the first two days for hours and hours non-stop in her assistant position. She did everything from setting and adjusting lights and doing meter readings, to controlling the monitor and checking the shots in real time. Since this was a big brand, they had sent their own hair and makeup team as well as a stylist to be in charge of the models and the clothes. Those long hours flew by quickly with her creative brain working full speed, learning new ways to approach a shot by looking at Mark work, and she was surprised to find herself enjoying the assistant position as well and not having the pressure to be in charge. Therese would come back home late each night, heading straight to bed, and she’d wake up very early the next morning despite her exhausted body in order to catch a few minutes with Carol and Rindy to see their faces before they left for work and school.

Today, it was Therese’s final day at the studio and thankfully the lightest given that they'd be doing a couple of shots that couldn’t be completed the previous day. She was now waiting outside Carol's lawyer’s building because Carol had asked her the previous night to meet her there around noon to finally consult him about Rindy’s adoption process. Therese decided to wait for Carol on a bench near the building’s entrance and savor the warm midday sun against her face. She closed her eyes and for the first time in these last crazy days she listened to the sounds of the city and let her mind relax. Carol arrived just a few minutes later and found Therese in that same relaxed position so she stood there watching her.

“Hey there,” greeted Therese without opening her eyes and she didn't have to for she could always tell when Carol was around.

“I never seem to be able to surprise you,” lamented Carol.

“That’s not true,” replied Therese as she opened her eyes and got up to meet Carol. “You never cease to surprise me,” she added before she got on her tiptoes and kissed Carol lovingly. 

They went inside the building together and rode the [vintage elevator](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/20/b9/83/20b983dd892e47038061edbd9dab14ea.jpg) to take them to the third floor where the lawyer’s office was. After the receptionist welcomed them and announced them through the phone, she walked them to the office’s door which she opened for them.

“Hello Fred. Thank you for receiving us in such a rush,” said Carol as she walked in. She gave the man a handshake and sat down on the chair behind the dark wooden desk. 

Therese followed her movements and greeted him before she sat on the vacant chair next to Carol’s. Despite his impeccable suit and golden rims on his face, he looked very friendly and nice. The office had two big windows to the right of the desk which filled the room with lots of natural daylight. The white painted walls had a couple of copies from famous paintings hanging on them as well as diplomas and degrees. On the opposite wall there was a huge wooden bookcase filled with various types of legal books including Codes from different States as well as authors. Therese focused her attention, next, on the few items lying on top of [his desk](https://images2.imgix.net/p4dbimg/5/images/370-10-563.jpg?fit=fill&trim=color&trimcolor=FFFFFF&trimtol=5&bg=FFFFFF&w=768&h=576&fm=pjpg): a vintage [industrial desk lamp](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2f/7e/ea/2f7eea9d787aa1671f6c1a5ec03a81d9.jpg) from around the 50s, a leather desk pad, a pen holder, portraits, and numerous papers. If it wasn’t for the latest laptop sitting on the desk as well, it would have looked entirely from another glorious past era. 

“It’s nothing. I’m glad to see you both,” continued the grey haired man with a smile. “Carol told me that you want to adopt Rindy, is that right?” he asked, looking at Therese.

“Yes, I want to become her legal mother. There was this incident at the airport recently…”

“I know, Carol told me. It’s more than understandable that you want to adopt her. But I’m going to be honest with you, it won’t be easy.” 

“Harge…,” interrupted Carol in an assertive tone.

“Exactly,” he continued returning his attention to Therese. “You see, in order to adopt Rindy as your stepdaughter and therefore become her legal parent, the law requires the other biological parent, the one you're not married to, to give up their parental rights over the child in question; in this case that parent is Harge. The thing here is that he’s still Rindy’s father regardless of his current situation.”

“But how…? He’s in jail...” stated Therese trying to follow Fred’s explanation.

“The fact that he’s currently in jail doesn’t make him lose his parental rights over Rindy since he was very much present in her life before he ended locked up; he actually had most of the custody time, he paid for her education and healthcare, etc. Basically, he was a very good father to Rindy and there’s nothing we can file against him to have his rights taken from him and have them transfer to you. If there had been any kind of abuse or negligence in his role as a father, we could proceed before a Family Court making the whole process much easier.”

“So, w- what can we do?” asked Therese nervously. 

“Please Fred, there must be something,” added Carol 

“The only thing we can do here is to ask him to waive his rights voluntarily.”

Therese could see the dream of becoming Rindy’s stepmother shattering and turning into dust. _ He will never… _

“He’ll never agree to that, Fred,” replied Carol echoing Therese’s thoughts. 

“I know it sounds impossible but that’s why I’m here to help you. I’ve seen cases where the parent was very reluctant to give up his parental rights at first but after further examinations the adoption process was successful. We’ll have to negotiate.”

“What do you mean?” asked Therese with a confused look.

“I know what he’s like. We’ll have to find something he wants, or a weakness, and use it as a way to get his consent. I know this might sound frivolous but, would you be open to offering him part of your inheritance money?”

Therese looked at her with incredulous eyes, shocked by how straightforward the question was. Carol looked back at her with confidence before she turned her attention back to Fred. 

“Yes,” she replied.

“Carol, no!” Therese exclaimed as she grabbed Carol's forearm. 

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to see you happy, my angel,” she replied holding Therese’s hand resting on her forearm, “and I know that becoming Rindy’s mother will make you more than happy.”

Therese could feel a knot starting to form inside her throat and tears threatening to fall down. She just managed to nod in agreement.

“How do we arrange this?,” continued Carol, now looking at Fred.

“I can make the call and set up the meeting with him.”

“Sounds good,” Therese added quickly.

“Alright then, I’ll let you know about the details.”

They said their goodbyes by the office door before Carol and Therese headed back to the elevator. Once outside, Therese walked a block with Carol to where she had parked her car.

“Everything's going to be OK. I love you,” said Carol kissing Therese goodbye, “I’ll see you at home,” she added before she got in her car.

Therese stood there and watched as Carol drove away. Although her head was already starting to fill with doubt and fear foreseeing the meeting with Harge, she knew in her heart that there’d be nothing she couldn’t achieve with Carol by her side. 

* * *

When Therese got back to the studio she noticed that nobody was there except for Mark who was already tidying up the place where their working station with the camera, tripod, and computer had been before she left. 

“Is everybody gone?”

“Yes, they left a few minutes ago.”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to leave for so long.”

“It’s OK, and you didn’t. The shots were easy to do. They were very happy with how everything went.”

“That’s great! Thank you for letting me be part of it.”

“The pleasure is all mine. You’re very talented, Therese… and very beautiful,” he added looking straight into her eyes as he took a step towards her.

Therese could feel her cheeks starting to burn. She looked back at him totally taken aback by the confession and unable to move. It took her a couple of seconds to remember how to talk again.

“Mah-... Mark… I-... I’m married,” uttered Therese like a fish choking on air.

“I know, I was messing with you,” he finally confessed with a cheeky smile. 

“MARK!” she yelled as she punched his arm. 

“Ouch!” he exclaimed. “But it’s true, Therese. You have a beautiful face that would photograph so well. Have you ever considered it?”

“Considered what?”

“Being a model.”

“Are you joking?” she scoffed not believing his words.

“I don’t mean a runway model… you could be an editorial model; in magazines and stuff.”

“I don’t know… I never liked being at the center,” she replied shyly.

“Well, would you at least let me take a shot of you? I’m working on an exhibition and I’d be glad to have your face as part of it.”

Therese stared at him for a few seconds waiting for any sign that it was another one of his jokes. But he looked at her sincerely and confidently. 

“Oh! I-... I’ll think about it,” she answered with a nervous smile.

Later that night, Therese was in bed looking at some raw pictures from the photoshoot on her computer while Carol went through an art magazine. Therese loved these quiet moments where they’d be in bed like this, each one doing their thing with one next to the other. 

“Mark told me today that he wants to photograph me for his upcoming exhibition,” announced Therese nonchalantly still looking at the screen.

“Oh really?” replied Carol with the same nonchalant tone.

“Yes. He thinks my face is beautiful,” she added with a naughty grin. She wanted to test Carol and see if she’d get jealous at hearing those words.

“He’s right about that,” said Carol turning a page of the magazine.

Therese let out a quiet growl seeing that her plan had failed. 

“Are you going to say yes?” continued Carol.

“I think so, yes.” she answered as she closed her computer and put it to the side. “It’ll be nice to be photographed by a _ professional _for once,” she continued as she looked at Carol who still had her eyes glued to the magazine.

“_ Oh...really? _” she repeated but with a defiant tone this time. 

She closed the magazine and placed it on the nightstand before she turned around again and rolled herself on top of Therese and pinned her down to the bed. Next, Carol began to place kisses around Therese’s neck before she sucked on the soft skin below her ear which was going to leave a bruise for sure. Just when Therese’s body began to feel the inevitable heat and sparks caused by Carol’s lips on her skin, the blonde stopped her passionate kissing, she rolled back to her side of the bed and turned her lamp off. Therese watched her perplexed unable to process what just happened. 

“Carol…” she whimpered staring at Carol’s back.

“Too bad I’m not a _ professional _,” she answered as she raised the bedsheet higher to cover herself. 

This time Therese let a frustrated growl out of her mouth before she covered her face with the bedsheet. 

* * *

As predicted, Therese woke up the next morning with a bruise on her neck. When she made the discovery by looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she called Carol to show it to her followed by a_ Look what you did! _ , Carol just smiled triumphantly before she left the room. Later that day, Therese called Mark and agreed to have her picture taken by him. She dropped by the studio an hour later, thanking the chilly weather, for she had an excuse to wear a scarf around her neck, which she’d have kept on for the picture but Mark insisted on taking it off. She showed him the love bite on her neck, afraid that she’d ruin the idea he had for the shot. But there was nothing to worry about since: he asked her to sit on a chair against a black backdrop, he then adjusted the lights in order to have most of her face exposed to the light while creating shadows on that side of her neck and successfully covered the bruise. Therese felt nervous to have the camera so close to her face feeling every inch of her face being exposed but she trusted Mark and his talented eye. He took just a few shots, changing some angles, and it was done. She looked at the [photos](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/7d/5d/31/7d5d31a575fbd4007deb2a92d3b25b6f.jpg) on the computer and she almost didn’t recognize herself. And for the first time she could see the beauty others saw in her: her green eyes in contrast with her delicate milky skin, and her soft pink lips. She didn’t have to wait to see the final edit for the exhibition to know they’d be simply perfect, and she couldn’t wait for Carol to see them. 

* * *

About a week later, Fred called them in the middle of the week to let them know that the meeting with Harge would be the following Saturday morning. They had a few days to prepare for it and go over what they'd say to him to keep the tone of the meeting as cordial as possible. Therese knew that having to see Harge again was by no means easy for Carol. After all he had done to her, the blonde despised him and so did Therese; so the fact that Carol hadn't just agreed to seeing him in person but also to negotiate with him all for Therese's wish to become Rindy's adoptive mother was another proof of how big Carol's love for her was. 

When that faithful Saturday arrived, both women drove all the way up to the correctional facility where Harge had been locked in. After getting through security, both women were guided to the visitation room. Since this was a minimum to medium security prison, the visitation room was one open space with tables instead of those glass walls which separate the inmates from their visitors. Carol and Therese took a seat at one of the free tables near a window and they both waited silently while holding hands. Therese looked through the window and concentrated on a big tree full of brown leaves and watched as they fell down all the way to the ground. A few minutes that felt like ages passed when they heard the sound of rattling chains and Therese felt Carol's grip tighter on her own hand. Therese turned her head slowly and her eyes met with Harge's who was already standing in front of the table. The prison guard who escorted Harge asked him to sit down and proceeded to secure his cuffs to the table. Harge looked nothing like the man Therese had last seen: he had grown out both his hair and beard which made him look even more threatening and unnerving. His once dark and shiny hair was now a shade of dull grey, and there was a scar across one of his eyebrows and a couple more on his hands and forearms. This was a shadow of the man Harge used to be, and an intimidating one.

Harge turned his head to Carol who was staring at him with a pale face as if she had seen a ghost indeed.

“I've missed you, Carol,” he said with a wicked smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to thank you all for replying to my last post and letting me feel the love for this story; it made me incredibly happy and grateful! ❤️ It was nice to see "new names" and hopefully more of you will say hi. Keep it coming 🙂
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think it's gonna happen with Harge? Carol played it well in bed, didn't she? I also hope you liked the visuals, haven't done those in a while! Let me know in the comments :)
> 
> The next two weeks are going to be busy so I'm not sure if I'll be able to post on schedule, but I will as soon as I can!
> 
> Many thanks to my dear Beate for always listening and approving my ideas for each new chapter, she's my drama check! Also many thanks to Ansi for helping with the photography parts and beta reading this.
> 
> PS: If I don't see you, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! My name is Valentina so if you don't have a Valentina I'm technically y'alls, ha! ❤️


	10. Chapter 10

“I've missed you, Carol,” he said with a wicked smile. 

Harge set both of his chained arms on top of the table as he bent a little forward on this chair; his body language had the confidence of a predator getting ready to hunt his prey.

Therese felt Carol’s grip become tighter under the table to the point of feeling her nails digging deep into her skin, like sharp needles. Therese turned her face to look at Carol who must have seen the discomfort in the younger’s eyes for she let go off her hand to Therese’s disappointment. 

“Harge,” continued Carol turning her head back at him, “We’re here to talk about Rindy.”

“I know. That lawyer of yours didn’t say much. Is she alright?”

“Yes, yes she is,” replied Carol.

“Then what do you need me for after all this time?” he asked with an inquiring look.

Therese could notice how Harge was purposely ignoring her by focusing on Carol only, pretending she wasn’t even there with them which bothered Therese since she was actually the reason why they were meeting in the first place. Her wish to adopt Rindy had brought them both here so she wasn’t going to let Carol or Harge do all the talking for her.

“We’re here…”

“ _ I am _ here…,” interrupted Therese with a shaky voice. She could feel Carol’s piercing eyes on her but she didn’t flinch. She waited for Harge to look back at her and focus on her before she’d speak again, and when he did she almost regretted it. He looked at her with vicious eyes.

“I am here because I want to adopt Rindy as my stepdaughter,” continued Therese in one breath while holding his look. She could hear her heart beating so loudly in her ears that she was afraid everybody else in the room would be able to listen as well.

“You what?” he scoffed with that wicked look back on his face. 

“I want to adopt her…”

“Didn’t you already have enough with marrying my wife…?”

“Har-...”

“ _ Ex  _ wife,” he remarked taking a quick look at Carol, “Now you want to take my daughter, too? Are you even old enough to take care of a child? Please...” he said in a mocking way.

Therese could feel her eyes starting to burn with tears, tears of rage. She opened her mouth to speak but Carol got ahead of her.

“Enough!” she muttered as she slammed a hand on the table catching both Harge and Therese by surprise. “Therese is more than capable of taking care of Rindy. She’s been a great mother to her since the very first day she entered back into our lives,” said Carol as she took hold of Therese’s hand again, this time rubbing her thumb gently on top of it. “And she’s been much more than that, she’s been the best partner I could’ve wished for to help me raise Rindy. We’re a family, Harge, whether you like it or not and Rindy loves Therese as much as she loves her.”

Therese could no longer hold her head up high for a tornado of emotions was growing like an angry fire inside of her chest. She looked down at her hand being gently caressed by Carol and she couldn’t help a single tear from running down her cheek which she quickly dried with her free hand. 

“So what exactly do you want from me, Carol?”

“To give up your rights as Rindy’s father.”

“I will never,  _ ever  _ give you that… especially to  _ you _ ,” he said looking back at Therese.

Therese could feel his eyes like daggers on her. She took one deep breath before she raised her head up again.

“Why do you hate me?” she asked no longer caring if her voice sounded weak. She could see a little change in Harge’s eyes as a response to her question.

“Therese, don’t…,” tried to interrupt Carol.

“Tell me! What did I do to  _ you  _ for you to despise me like this?” she continued. 

She stared at him trying to find something in his look that would give away the answer, something that would help Therese understand what he felt inside but he remained unchanged, his expression stone-cold.

“I won’t let Rindy turn out to be like you two,” he threatened as he stood up.

“And how are you planning to achieve that from here, Harge?” challenged Carol with a raised eyebrow as she stood up to meet Harge, “Rindy won’t need you by the time you get out of here. She needs both of us now.”

“You’re the reason I’m not with her, Carol. That anonymous tip to the police, I’m darn sure it was you,” he retorted, looking at Carol with anger.

Carol let out a gasp.

“How dare you…,” blurted out Carol leaning herself forward with both hands on the table. 

This sudden movement caused the guard to step closer to the table and proceed to unlock Harge from the table, putting an end to the meeting. Therese grabbed Carol by her arm and carefully helped the blonde back to her seat.

“The only reason why you’re here is  _ you _ ; you and your actions,” said Therese without taking her eyes off him as he made his way around the table, the guard following him from behind.

“Be careful with this one,” he said pointing at Carol with his head, “or she’ll be the end of you,” he finished, his words filled with venom, before he turned away and left the room. 

  
  


As soon as they made it back inside the car, Therese immediately felt all the strength and confidence she had shown just a few minutes before Harge seeping away, giving room to a cold emptiness. The cruel reality hit her with all its weight and she could see now her dream of adopting Rindy drying like an autumn leaf. If she was honest with herself, deep down inside she knew this would happen all along for Harge would have never agreed in a million years to giving up his rights over her; and now she blamed herself for letting herself get carried away with something that was doomed from the very beginning. Therese wanted to scream out loud, very loud, and let all of the pain and frustration out of her system but the knot in her throat wouldn’t let her. She let angry tears fall instead, which she unsuccessfully tried to hide by pushing them quickly away with her hand. She looked outside the car window up to the grey cloudy sky which was a mirror of her soul.  They had barely made it out of the prison field when Carol, without saying a word, drove the car to the side of the road and parked it there. She turned off the car before she turned to look at Therese.

“What are you thinking?” asked Carol in a tone that sounded both hard and broken at the same time.

Therese pinched her eyes close as she tried to fight the volcano of emotions threatening to erupt out of every single pore in her body. She took a moment to gather what little strength she had in order to answer.

“That I should have said no,” she replied with eyes still closed, “but I never say no…”

“Don’t do this… you had no idea…,” whispered Carol with frustration.

“And I should have said no to you when you arranged all this,” continued Therese this time between heavy sobs she could no longer contain, “but I always say yes… and I’m selfish... because I put you in that awful situation with Harge... and I should have known better...”

“Therese, please look at me,” cried Carol.

Therese turned around slowly and when she opened her eyes again she saw Carol looking back at her with watery eyes. Carol moved herself as close to Therese as the gap between their seats allowed before she continued talking to her. 

“I came here with you willingly,” she said as she placed a hand around Therese’s face, “I wanted the adoption to happen as much as you did. None of this is your fault, alright?” she added looking straight into Therese’s eyes.

Therese only managed to nod since new waves of sobs were threatening to swallow her. Carol bent forward and placed a kiss on her forehead before she turned away and got behind the wheel to resume the drive. Therese laid her head back on her seat and closed her eyes one more time. A few moments passed before she started to feel a throbbing pain around her temples as well as in the rest of her body that made her shift in her seat. The loud sound of the raindrops pounding against the side of her window woke her up some time later and she then noticed that not only did she feel like her headache had gotten worse but she also felt a chill running down her body despite the car heat being turned on. She looked at Carol and thought about saying something to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere inside the car but her head was too clouded so she turned around and fell asleep once more. 

* * *

Once they made it back home, Carol opened the door of the apartment and let Therese walk in first. The moment she stepped in, Milan came to greet them with his wagging tail and letting out his usual bark which made Therese wince in pain. As she began to take off her coat she could hear the sound of the TV followed by laughter coming from the living room and thought how quickly the mood would change once she shared the news. Carol hung her coat next to Therese’s and with a light push on her back both women headed to the living room. Abby was sitting with Rindy on the couch as they were both watching a cartoon show on TV. 

“Mommy!” yelled Rindy as she got off the couch and ran to hug both of her mothers. 

“Hey there,” greeted Abby turning the TV off when she saw them.

“Hey…” mumbled Carol patting Rindy’s head. 

“What happened?” she asked with a concerned look when she focused on Therese’s red and puffy eyes.

Therese just shook her head as she was unable to speak, the quick head movement causing the throbbing pain in her temples to resurface. She closed her eyes and took one hand to one side of her head applying pressure with her fingers as an attempt to ease the pain. 

“Are you alright, Therese?” asked Abby noticing this.

Therese lifted her head very slowly in order to avoid another wave of pain from hitting her head. 

“I’m tired. It was a long day. I need to lay down for a bit,” she said, giving both Abby and Carol a quick smile. 

“Rindy, please help Therese go to bed,” ordered Carol to the little girl who was still wrapped around her legs.

Rindy turned around and took one of Therese’s hands in hers. 

“C’mon mommy, let’s go,” said the little one gently tugging on Therese’s hand. 

Therese managed to mutter a goodbye to Abby before she turned around and let Rindy lead the way to the bedroom. 

_ It didn’t go well. Harge didn’t agree to it _ , was the last thing Therese heard Carol say before she closed the bedroom door with her free hand. She walked the few steps that separated her from the bed and let her tired and aching body collapse on top of it. 

“Mommy, your shoes!” exclaimed Rindy from the end of the bed.

Therese felt her small hands close around her ankles as she pulled off her shoes from both her feet. 

“I’m cold… blanket,” she whispered as she curled up on her side. She felt a chill piercing through her body like an icicle.

Rindy walked to the chair sitting next to the window and picked up the blanket that laid neatly folded on its seat. She unfolded it on top of the curled up ball that was Therese and covered her as best as she could, making sure to not leave any part uncovered. The heavy blanket fell on to Therese like a warm embrace soothing her trembling frame and after that she succumbed to a restless sleep. 

In her dream, she could see herself trapped underneath what seemed to be a frozen lake. The ice ceiling above her was so thick it only let in a dim light which wasn’t enough to distinguish things around her. She desperately began to hit the ice above her but no matter how hard she tried it wouldn’t break. The cold water which she was submerged in was starting to freeze the precious last breath that she was trying to hold on to at the same time as the muscles around her limbs were starting to turn into heavy rocks, pushing her deeper and deeper into the darkness below her. For a split second, she closed her eyes as a feeling of happiness and calmness spread through her for she no longer had to fight; she no longer felt pain, her mind was clear of all thoughts and fears. In the darkness, she was finally free.  _ Therese!  _ She suddenly heard her name said aloud in an echo forcing her to open her eyes again. With a renewed energy she started to hit the ice above her once again and this time she managed to break a small hole through it after a few hits with her fist. A freezing wave of fresh air hit her in the face and she took a much needed intake as small chunks of ice fell on top of her head. She could see that her hand was bleeding but she didn’t feel any pain, her whole body was numbed by the coldness.

Suddenly, a source of bright angelic-like light appeared on the other side of the thick ice ceiling with its rays of light beaming like laser shots through the hole Therese had just made, slowly melting the ice. And then a hand emerged through and Therese was about to reach out to it when the faint sound of a voice reached through her consciousness like a siren song and brought Therese back to the present. It took her a couple of seconds to identify the voice as Carol.

“Therese, love, wake up! You’re burning up!” she said with one hand on top of Therese’s forehead.

Therese let out a whimper as she tried to open her eyelids but they felt so heavy as if they were glued shut. Finally, when she managed to open them halfway, she was momentarily blinded by the light coming from the nightstand making her squint her eyes. She then wondered if it was already late at night or perhaps it was just the afternoon for she had no idea how much time she had been asleep for. When her eyes acclimatized to the light, she encountered Carol’s worried face right above hers. The blonde was staring at her with tormented eyes as she gently removed the hairs that were stuck to her sweaty forehead. 

“I need to get you out of these clothes love, can you sit up?” 

Therese had fallen asleep in her woolen sweatshirt and jeans that together with the warmth of the blanket had helped increase her temperature. She tried to push herself up on one elbow to be able to sit up but her weak body gave way, making her fall back again on the mattress like a lifeless doll. 

“Careful! Let me help you.”

Carol grabbed Therese by both of her arms and gently pushed her up until she had Therese in a sitting position, but this change in position increased the pressure inside Therese’s head, making her feel suddenly dizzy. She almost fell backwards again but Carol was quick and she held her back. Next, she grabbed the hem of both Therese’s sweatshirt and long-sleeved shirt and pulled them off Therese in one quick and swift move leaving her in just her bra. Therese immediately began to tremble even more now that her skin had lost the heat and protection of her clothes.

“I-... I’m c-...cold,” stuttered Therese trying to cover herself with her arms. 

“We’re almost done, angel.” 

And without wasting another second, Carol stood up and added another fluffy pillow behind Therese before she arranged them against the bed board to then have Therese scooch back a little to have her propped up. Carol then continued to unbutton Therese’s jeans and pulled them off her without much difficulty. Carol also managed to open the bed sheets without having to move Therese who was dozing off again despite her constant trembling. Carol lastly pushed up the sheets and tucked Therese in. 

“Therese, wake up. Take these,” said Carol holding two white pills in one hand while she caressed Therese’s face with the other.

Therese didn’t bother to open her eyes or move an inch, she just opened her mouth until she felt Carol’s fingers placing the pills in the middle of her tongue. She gave a jump when she felt Carol’s hand behind her head pushing her forward and she almost spit out the medicine. When her mouth came in contact with the rim of a glass, Therese began to swallow the refreshing liquid inside of it so fast she almost choked making her realize how thirsty she was. After she was done, Carol rested Therese’s head back on the pillow before she bent down to kiss Therese’s burning forehead.

“Don’t leave,” cried Therese as she dared to open her tired eyes.

Carol looked at her with those intense and yet soothing blue eyes which made Therese hold her breath. In response to her request, Carol got up and walked to the other side of the bed to then sit down next to her. She slid an arm behind Therese’s head and she immediately adjusted herself to the embrace by curling up on her side. Therese almost let out a cry of relief when she felt Carol’s nails scratching her scalp making her fall down the realm of dreams once again.

Next time Therese woke up, she was welcomed by the delicious smell of soup that Carol had made for her and which she drank until the last drop. She noticed that her body wasn’t shaking any longer and her head felt lighter again. 

“How are you feeling, angel?” asked Carol as she placed a hand on Therese’s forehead, “The fever seems to be gone.”

“I feel better. How long did I sleep? What time is it?” asked Therese, still confused.

“It’s around 9 pm. You slept for most of the afternoon. How about I run you a bath before we go to bed?”

Once in the bathroom, Carol filled the bathtub with warm water while Therese waited on the toilet. Carol made sure that the water wasn’t too hot to raise Therese’s fever once again, and not too cold to make her feel uncomfortable before she helped Therese carefully get in. Therese sat down in the middle of the tub and looked up at Carol who was still standing there.

“I need help with my hair… please?” begged Therese in the most adorable way possible.

Carol chuckled at her as she shook her head in disbelief. 

“Alright then,” she said before she turned around.

She walked to the sink and from the doors underneath it, she grabbed a medium sized bowl. On her way back she grabbed a thick folded towel which she set on the floor next to the tub to rest her knees as she bent down before Therese. Once ready, Carol asked Therese to turn her back to her before she grabbed the bowl and started to fill it with the warm bathwater which she carefully poured on top of Therese’s head. The warm cascading water felt so relaxing Therese could feel her muscles finally begin to give in and she realised this was the most relaxed she had been in days. The fever had clearly been a result of all the stress and hard work she had been putting into her body and mind for the last couple of weeks; the meeting with Harge being the last emotional straw. Carol continued to repeat the process until Therese’s long hair was fully wet. Next, Carol grabbed the shampoo bottle and poured the lavender scented liquid on top of Thereses’s head before she began to massage it with both hands until it turned into foam. Meanwhile, Therese seized a sponge and some soap and began to wash her body with light moves starting with her arms, her torso, and legs. A few minutes later, Carol rinsed Therese’s hair using the same bowl and then added conditioner to the ends spreading it through the hair with her fingers before rinsing it out again. Just when Therese was about to gather strength to stand up, Carol stopped her midway.

“Uh-huh. Your back is missing. Give me the sponge.”

Therese handed her the sponge she had been using which Carol loaded with more soap. She moved Therese’s hair to the front to clear her back, and before she began to scrub it she leaned closer and kissed her shoulder. Therese felt a different kind of tremble go through her body, the kind that could make her heart beat faster. 

“Carol...don’t,” Therese pleaded, fighting her own tired body.

“This one is new,” continued Carol, ignoring Therese’s plea.

“What do you mean?”

“You have a new spot right here,” she replied, placing another kiss on the same spot.

“You can’t possibly know that…” she laughed.

“I do,” interrupted Carol as she gently began to scrub Therese’s back, “I have memorized every spot, every curve, every inch of your body as if it were my own,” she said casually more like a statement to herself than anything else.

Therese suddenly felt so moved by Carol’s words that she had to take a moment to let them sink in, her head still not fully recovered from her illness. Therese smiled, unable to contain the happiness Carol’s confession had stirred inside of her, for she secretly felt the same way about Carol’s body; it was an anatomy she could trace without the need of sight or touch for her memory made the perfect picture out of it. And if she was honest with herself, it was a body she had learned to love and worship before her very own.

She turned her body around and bent an arm on top of the bathtub’s border as she looked at Carol directly, staring into her puzzled eyes.

“What…?” questioned Carol staring back at her still holding the sponge up in one hand.

In response, Therese held Carol from behind her neck and brought her closer until their lips met. She kissed her softly, wholeheartedly trying to convey what words couldn’t achieve. She broke the kiss and propped her head on top of the forearm that was resting on the end of the bathtub and looked up at Carol who in return gave her that knowing smile that held the promise of the rest of their lives together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! I'm sorry for having taken longer to post this new chapter; last week at work as a killer since I had to cover for a friend and I'd come back home exhausted.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter despite the drama; I’m sorry if it feels like it’s too much… but writing is in a way a mirror of ourselves and well I guess that I have more drama in my life than happiness; but I promise that not everything will be sad! Maybe someone’s birthday is coming soon… And yes, I stole the car scene from the movie and twisted it a bit, ha!
> 
> PS: I forgot to share the Kate Bush songs that were the inspiration for the dream scene:   
Under Ice: https://youtu.be/pmRJdXg2leI  
Waking the Witch: https://youtu.be/k7FEneG7gsg
> 
> Talking about anniversaries, I just realized that it’s been a year since I started plotting the story for Visa to Love, and I can’t believe how much we’ve grown together since that shy and scared little first chapter. I’d love to thank each and every one of you for being there, for all your support and love throughout this journey; and for letting my words enter your world.
> 
> Thank you Ansi for beta reading. Get well soon love 💕


	11. Chapter 11

Therese woke up on the morning of her 21st birthday to an assault of wet kisses all over her face. The long and rough tongue felt suddenly strange on her lips, forcing her to cover her mouth with one hand. When she opened her eyes, she let out a gasp at the view of Milan on top of her, still trying to cover her with kisses. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked him as she removed him from her face with both hands.

It had taken them many tries and fails to finally teach Milan not to jump on the bed unless one of them allowed him to, so Therese was sure that someone must have placed him there on purpose. She held him down on her chest with his head right underneath her chin.  _ Who let you get up? _ she asked herself before she started to scratch his small head. She looked to her side and found Carol’s side of the bed empty and she wished it had been her who had been the one to wake her up with kisses instead. 

The clock on the nightstand showed that it was already past 10 in the morning on a Saturday. She had intended to wake up together with Carol as they usually did but the night before she had stayed up late finishing a job that was due on Monday, and with her birthday falling in between, she had tried to make as much progress as possible. When Carol had asked her a few weeks ago what she wanted to do for her birthday, she had initially said nothing. The incident with Harge was still recent and she didn’t feel like celebrating; but a few days later she changed her mind. This time she didn’t want to celebrate it at a restaurant like they had previously done; this time she wanted to have a small party at home with family and friends, cooking something special for all of them. She invited Abby and Crystal, Dannie and Tom of course, and Richard who would be attending with his recent fiance to Therese’s happy surprise. 

One afternoon after picking Rindy up from school, the little girl insisted on going to a store to buy decorations arguing that a “birthday party wasn’t a party without balloons”. Inside the store, Rindy quickly began to fill in the shopping cart with different items such as colorful napkins, cups, banners and balloons. Therese grinned at the sight of Rindy pushing the cart from one aisle to the other with such excitement, reminding her exactly of Carol when she shopped. 

After a couple of minutes of just lying there in bed, Therese sat up and put Milan back on the ground. She picked up her robe from the chair and put it on, securing it around her body with the belt. This particular fall seemed to be much colder compared to previous years, and the weather forecast even predicted snow for the beginning of winter which wasn’t that common. She walked out of the bedroom and immediately noticed how quiet the apartment was. She headed to Rindy’s room and found it empty which surprised her since the little one always enjoyed sleeping until late on the weekends. Next, Therese walked past the living room area and found it empty as well; not even the TV was on. When she was about to head to the kitchen, she heard a faint laugh followed by a S _ sshhh!  _ coming from the dining room. 

“Carol…?” she called as she started to head in that direction.

The moment she stepped into the room, she was welcomed by big helium balloons that had “Happy Birthday” printed on them. There were also birthday decorations such as a letter banner hanging from the wall spelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY THERESE in bright colors. The next thing that caught her attention was the dinning table already set for breakfast with coffee, orange juice, a plate with pastel colored macarons, and a tower of pancakes with cream and a candle on top. She let out a second gasp as a result of her utter amazement. 

“SURPRISE!” suddenly yelled Rindy coming out of her hiding place behind a chair. 

She ran towards Therese and when she finally reached her, she squeezed Therese around her legs so hard she almost lost her balance. 

“Happy birthday, mommy” she said looking up to her with a big smile on her face.

Therese bent her torso a little bit forward and wrapped her arms around the little girl and placed a kiss on her head. 

“Thank you, my little one,” she whispered. 

From the corner of her eye she could see a pair of long legs approaching her side. Therese rested both hands on Rindy’s shoulders before she straightened herself up again and her eyes encountered those ocean blue ones staring back at her with adoration.

“Happy birthday, my angel,” voiced Carol in her heart-melting deep voice and with a smile.

Carol rested a hand around Therese’s cheek and Therese couldn’t help closing her eyes and brushing her side of the face against it, searching for more contact. Carol began to move her head forward, never breaking eye contact despite Therese’s closed eyes, and when the tip of their noses finally met she closed her own eyes and kissed Therese on the lips. It was a quick but tender kiss that filled Therese with love and joy. Just when Carol broke the kiss and began to pull away from Therese, the younger one quickly captured Carol’s lower lip and gave her one last lingering kiss, a kiss that was unexpectedly interrupted by a growling sound coming from below them. Therese looked down and found Rindy looking at them.

“Can we eat now?” she asked with begging eyes.

* * *

Around 6:00, Therese began to busy herself with dinner since their guests would be arriving at 8:00. After days of pondering, Therese had finally decided to prepare [Lemon and Rosemary Chicken](https://www.tasteofhome.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Lemon-and-Rosemary-Chicken_EXPS_CISMZ19_139017_E01_08_6b-696x696.jpg) breasts with roasted baby potatoes and artichokes. The recipe she had found online didn't look that difficult to make and she trusted that the cooking skills she had developed in the last year or so would help her succeed. Carol, on the other hand, didn’t trust her own cooking skills and preferred to bake sweet things. Therese found this contrast in cooking skills was another reason to make them the perfect match. Carol had spent the early afternoon baking a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting that Rindy had helped decorate, and it was now delicately covered to keep it a surprise for Therese. 

Therese started by cutting the baby artichokes and potatoes in halves and quarters respectively and she added them in a big bowl. Next, she chopped shallot, rosemary, and garlic that she mixed with salt, pepper, lemon juice and olive oil and inverted the mix into the bowl together with the potatoes and artichokes. The next step in the recipe was to season the chicken breast with the same dressing but given that she was cooking for 9 people, she had to cook the meat and vegetables in two separate large cooking pans. Therese was in the middle of putting the second pan inside the oven when Carol walked into the kitchen already dressed for the evening. She was wearing [black tight pants and a shirt with a jacket](https://images.wsj.net/im-94945?width=1280&size=1) on top and high heels. Her hair fell loosely around her face with soft messy waves. She had added some mascara and blush, and her red tinted lips made her look naturally radiant. Therese almost lost control of the pan when her eyes finished scanning the always breathtaking sight in front of her. She was relieved once she closed the oven door.

“Is everything alright?” asked Carol with a smirk on her face, aware of the effect she had on Therese. 

“Y-yes. I just have the appetizer left to prepare,” she replied as she tried to hang the kitchen cloth over the oven handle but her move to hide her blushing cheeks failed when her clumsy hands dropped the cloth. She picked it up quickly and folded it before placing it on the counter instead. 

Therese had bought different types of cheese, baked ham, salami and olives for the appetizer. She had also gotten red and white wine to go together with both courses. 

“I can help you with that,” she said as she opened the fridge door, “Go get ready!” and she gave Therese a wink. 

Therese was glad to be released from the kitchen that was getting warmer and not because of the oven. 

When Therese stepped into the bedroom to start getting ready, she found a fancy box on the bed. She stepped closer and took the card that was on top of the box and opened it to read it:

_ Happy birthday, dearest! _

_ The moment we saw it, we knew it was meant for you. _

_ With all our love, C+R _

Therese left the card on the side and proceeded to lift the lid from the box and removed the wrapping paper on top to reveal its content. She let out a gasp when her fingers touched the softness of the fabric. She then took the piece with both hands and lifted it to display the [emerald green velvet dress](https://www.shopthings.com/image/cache/catalog/Belle-Poque-Velvet-Dress-Winter-Long-Sleeve-Plus-Size-O-Neck-Green-Tunic-Elegant-Clothes-Casual-Vint-32729535758-7790-800x800.jpeg) in all its beauty. The fabric shone like a true emerald under the light. Therese could feel her eyes filling with tears, overwhelmed by emotions. She truly couldn’t ask for any presents for she already had what she loved and cared most about: her family. Therese changed into the dress, she added a pair of black stockings and ankle boots. She put some of Carol’s same lipstick on her lips to complete her look. 

When Therese joined Carol in the kitchen again, she noticed the appetizer plate sitting ready on one of the counters, but there was something else waiting for her. Carol was standing with her back against the small kitchen island with two glasses of champagne next to her. Therese walked up to her, surprised she was even able to move under Carol’s intense gaze. She could feel the blonde’s blue eyes roaming over her body until their eyes locked. 

“You look so very fine in that dress,” whispered Carol in a low voice as she handed one of the champagne glasses to Therese.

Therese was suddenly assaulted by a heatwave that almost knocked her out. Every time Carol praised her appearance or looked at her with the intensity and desire that she did now, Therese couldn’t control the effect the blonde had on her. Carol was like the most delicious perfume that you wanted to wrap yourself in no matter how intense it is. 

“Thank you,” Therese managed to articulate as she took the glass from Carol’s hand.

“I’m so happy to celebrate another birthday with you, my love. To many more,” she said as she raised her glass towards Therese, “Cheers!” 

Both women clinked their glasses and took a gulp of the bubbly liquid. Carol rested her glass back on the counter and took a step forward to close the gap between them. She stared into Therese’s eyes and with the fingers of one hand, she slowly traced over the velvety fabric, all the way up Therese’s arm. Therese’s breath got caught in her throat when she felt Carol’s fingertips begin their way down towards her breasts. The mix of the champagne and the ferocity of Carol’s stare and touch forced her to close her eyes and just concentrate on those burning fingertips. Just when Therese could feel the heat coming closer and closer to her already sensitive breast, the doorbell rang.

“MOMMY!” yelled Rindy from the other side of the apartment. 

* * *

The first guests to arrive were Dannie and Tom, followed by Abby and Crystal, and later by Richard and his fiance Nathalie. All of them respectively gifted Therese with beautiful presents: a [crossbody bag](https://static.zara.net/photos///2019/I/1/1/p/5635/510/100/2/w/810/5635510100_2_1_1.jpg?ts=1573554667717), a [knitted sweatshirt](https://static.zara.net/photos///2020/V/0/1/p/9598/179/809/5/w/810/9598179809_2_1_1.jpg?ts=1582816022523), and a photography book including her favorite photographers. As soon as everybody settled in the living room, with some of them sitting on the couch while others stood up, Therese brought in the appetizer which she placed down on the coffee table and began to offer glasses of wine to her guests. 

“No thank you,” said Nathalie when Therese held a glass before her.

“She can’t,” added Richard, “we’re expecting,” he finally announced with a smile. 

“Oh Richard! Congratulations!” replied Therese before she gave them both a warm hug. 

Therese stayed with them talking for a couple of minutes. Everytime she turned her head around she could see Carol staring at her with loving eyes from across the room, filling Therese’s stomach with butterflies. The room filled with cheerful conversations, the soft jazz music playing in the background and the warmth from the fireplace made Therese realize how lucky she was. 

At one point during their conversation, Richard asked her to show him her work, what she had been doing lately so Therese walked him to her dark room where she kept all her photographs. Richard looked at them with care, asking her where she had taken some of them. 

“I still can’t believe you’re going to be a father,” beamed Therese with a smile.

“Me neither. Everything happened so fast, but when you know it’s the right one...”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

“Have you both talked about it?” he asked shyly. 

“Yes we have. And I’d love to have a baby with Carol one day. Having Rindy has been a blessing already.”

“You have won the lottery, Therese. You have a beautiful family.”

“I truly have,” she replied.

Once they joined the rest again, Therese guided everyone to the dining room which was still decorated with balloons and garlands from earlier that morning. She returned to the kitchen and heated the food one last time in order to serve the dishes appropriately. Carol helped her to set the plates and take them back to the table. Therese was showered with compliments on her food as soon as everybody started to eat, making her feel even happier, if that was possible. Just when she was about to taste her food, she felt Carol’s hand gently squeezing her right thigh under the table making Therese drop some of the potatoes back on her plate. 

“They are hot. Be careful,” Carol warned her. 

Therese turned her head towards the blonde who gave her a cheeky smile in return.

“Talking about engagement, when are you two going to finally get married?” asked Dannie bringing Therese’s attention back to the table.

“Someday…” answered Abby shifting on her seat.

“She’s allergic to the word  _ marriage _ ,” added Crystal in a playful tone.

“I am not!” Abby quickly added, in her defense. “I just think that we don’t need a certificate to prove our love.”

“Aaaaawwww…” everybody else chanted in reply. 

“I never thought you had that softness in you, my friend,” said Carol. 

After dinner was ready, it was time to blow out the birthday candles. Carol and Rindy snuck back into the kitchen to bring in the cake they had baked. Abby dimmed the lights at the same time Carol walked in carrying the birthday cake lit by two candles shaped with a “2” and a “1”. Everyone immediately stood up and began to sing Happy Birthday to Therese. When Carol finally made it to the table, she carefully placed the cake in front of Therese. [The cake](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2084/0205/files/Rainbow-Road-Chocolate-Cake-1_1024x1024.jpg?v=1555209249) was covered in chocolate frosting and decorated with colorful sprinkles thanks to Rindy. When the singing stopped, Rindy asked her to make a wish before blowing out the candle. Therese closed her eyes and she could not think of anything else to wish for that she didn't already have.  _ I want this happiness to last forever.  _

They continued to talk, drink and laugh, only realising how late it had become when Rindy fell asleep on her chair. Richard and Nathalie were the first ones to leave, shortly followed by the rest. While Carol took Rindy to bed, Therese started to tidy up the table, taking the plates, glasses and silverware back to the kitchen. She covered the pan with the leftovers with aluminum foil and put it inside the fridge. Therese was in the middle of loading the dishwasher when Carol returned. She grabbed the dirty glasses on the counter and began to put them inside the machine.

“Did you have a good time?,” Carol asked.

“Yes, the best time. I couldn’t be happier,” Therese replied, inserting the last plate.

“Let’s go to bed,” said Carol as she closed the dishwasher and turned it on.

The blonde grabbed Therese by the hand and walked her to their bedroom, only letting go of her hand when they stood by the bed.

“I have one more surprise,” said Carol caressing Therese’s cheek.

“Carol, you don’t have to. I’m…”

“Ssshhh…,” replied Carol, placing her thumb on Therese’s lips. 

The blonde turned around and walked to her nightstand, she opened the first drawer and retrieved a small box from inside. She walked back to Therese who was still standing in the same place. 

“Happy birthday,” she said as she handed her the small velvety box.

Therese opened the lid and inside of it was a [golden locket](https://cdn10.bigcommerce.com/s-5t8es/products/560/images/7449/temp.png-3__13228.1535447034.1000.1200.jpg?c=2) hanging from a matching golden chain. It looked old and very valuable. She carefully took it in her hand before she looked back at Carol, unable to express the emotions running through her. 

“It belonged to my mother, and before her, to my grandmother. It’s one of the things she left for me but I…”

“Carol, I can’t accept this,” she interrupted. 

“I want you to have it,” said Carol squeezing Therese’s hand, “Open it!” she added with a smile. 

Therese did as she told her and carefully opened the locket. She took a hand to her mouth when she saw a picture of Carol and Rindy inside of it. They weren’t any kind of pictures, they were pictures that she had taken herself. Therese’s eyes began to fill with tears making the images in front of her blurry. She blinked, letting them fall freely. When she looked back at Carol, she found her tears mirrored back in the blonde’s eyes. 

“Thank you, Carol,” she voiced before she wrapped her arms around Carol and hugged her tight. They stayed like that a few seconds before Carol stepped back to look at her. 

“I’m still in awe of the wonderful woman you’ve become. I watched you interact with everybody tonight and you looked so in control, so incredibly confident, so full of light that I was taken aback.”

“I’m all of that because of you. I love you.”

“And I love you,” she whispered as she took Therese’s face with both hands and kissed her. 

The kiss soon became passionate, with their hands roaming each other's bodies looking for more contact. When Carol broke the kiss, she took the locket that was still in Therese’s hand and put it back in the box which she placed on the drawer near them before she returned to kissing Therese. Now with both hands free, Therese started to unbutton Carol’s shirt which she removed quickly. Then she continued unbuttoning her pants. Carol grabbed the rim of her dress and began to pull it up until it came off Therese and landed on the floor. Both women continued to undress on their own to make it faster. Once they were fully naked, they made their way to the bed and under the covers. Carol laid her upper body on top of Therese to continue with her deep, open mouthed kisses. Therese couldn’t help moaning into the blonde’s mouth when Carol began to massage one of her bare breasts. Everytime the blonde’s fingers brushed over her hard nipple, electricity ran through Therese’s body. Carol began to kiss her jaw, moving down her neck until her lips finally caught up with her fingers still lingering on Therese’s breast. Carol took the hardened nipple inside her mouth and began to suck at it with hunger, forcing Therese to bite on her own hand to keep herself from screaming. Carol kept alternating between sucking and licking around Therese’s nipple before she did the same to the other. Just when the blonde began to move downwards, Therese held her by her hair.

“Stay. I need you.”

Carol moved back up and slid an arm under Therese’s head, holding her in a tight embrace. The other hand continued its journey down until her fingers were welcomed by Therese’s wet folds. Carol pushed one open to have better access to her center. She began to massage her fingers in circles around her clit, and back and forth between her folds, never taking her eyes off Therese. Therese could feel her chest raising higher and higher with every passing second. She knew she was close.

“Carol...please,” she moaned.

Carol looked at her one last time before she crushed her lips on Therese’s at the same time she slid her middle finger inside her. Therese would have let out a loud moan if it wasn’t for Carol’s mouth. Carol slid another finger in before she began to push them in and out at a normal pace at first. When Therese’s body began to jerk under her, her hips unable to stay still, Carol added more pressure and her thrusts became faster. Therese wrapped her arms around Carol’s neck and held her tightly as she finally came. She held herself to Carol like someone holding onto a piece of board in the middle of the ocean, for Carol was what kept her afloat during the hardest of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't easy to finish. I started it before all the chaos around the virus finally arrived here (Uruguay), but before it did I knew I wanted to write a happy chapter to bring all of you some joy, specially if you're in quarantine. These past days have been weird, trying to stay away from the paranoia but you can’t help worrying about what’s going to happen. So this chapter became a way for me to keep my mind away from all that, at least for a little while.
> 
> I included all the things that you enjoy: food, Abby, Dannie, visual references, and a little sauce at the end. Hope it made you feel better!
> 
> As always, your comments are always welcomed, now more than ever. 
> 
> And a special thank you to all the incredible stories and authors who inspire and entertain us daily. Your words are so needed right now, keep it going! 
> 
> Stay home. Stay safe. I love you.
> 
> Thanks to Ansi as always.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark's exhibition scene was written by Ansi (NeonHeartsClub) and Taylor (Sir Belivaird) as part of the Quarantine Project. I combined both of their versions the best way I could. Please show them some love in the comments below, they deserve it! Thank you so much you two for taking part in it; I didn't think I'd need your help so badly. You saved me.

Therese woke up to the sound of her blaring phone alarm. She pressed snooze and collapsed back onto the pillow, letting out a loud groan. Just as she was falling back to sleep, she felt two arms snake around her waist and gingerly opened her eyes to see big blue eyes staring back at her. 

“Wake up sleepyhead, it’s already the afternoon!” said Carol, gently stroking her arm. 

Therese just grunted in response and pulled the blanket further over her head. 

“We’re going to be late for the exhibition.” 

It was the day of Mark’s photography exhibition and Therese was filled with nerves. Even having [her portrait](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/7d/5d/31/7d5d31a575fbd4007deb2a92d3b25b6f.jpg) taken had made her feel so vulnerable but now to have it displayed in public presented an entirely new sense of anxiety. While she was excited for Carol to see it, she felt like a part of her soul would be exposed to the world and it filled her with a deep sense of apprehension to let others see the parts of herself she only kept hidden for Carol. 

“Are you nervous?” asked Carol, sensing her anxiety. 

Therese simply nodded, the blanket still half covering her face. Carol pulled the blanket down, brushing a stray hair from Therese’s face.

“Never forget, you’re lit from within my angel, and that’s what people will see, the inner light that makes you so beautiful,” she said after a pause.

Therese’s heart did a flip and she lifted herself upwards till her lips met Carol’s for a passionate kiss. 

“You always know what to say, don’t you?” asked Therese. Carol smirked and caught her lips with hers again. 

“I have my talents”, she whispered between kisses. 

After finally forcing herself out of bed, Therese started to get ready while Carol made Rindy a late lunch. She regretted not planning her outfit the previous night, rummaging through her closet frantically. Everything seemed either too fancy or not fancy enough. Letting out a sigh of frustration, she finally settled on a [long-sleeved white dress](https://celebmafia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/rooney-mara-carol-photocall-at-2015-cannes-film-festival_1.jpg) with a reverse belt and lace detailing and paired it with some light pink lipstick and two [silver rings](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0179/2821/products/love-you-silver-rings.jpg?v=1479321237) which Carol had gifted her last month as a surprise. 

The photographer sat at the vanity, brushing her hair with a slight tremble. She clipped her hair back, leaving them partly open, and just as she was fastening the last pin, she heard a small gasp behind her. 

“You look so beautiful!” said Carol. 

Before she knew it, Carol emerged wearing [black pants](https://www.redcarpet-fashionawards.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Cate-Blanchett-In-Saint-Laurent-The-Late-Late-Show-with-James-Corden.jpg) that hugged her figure flatteringly, and a black shirt that was low-cut enough to make Therese forget about everything she was doing. Her hair cascaded down in gentle waves and she had applied some subtle pink eyeshadow. 

“What?” asked Carol, grinning cockily. 

“No-nothing” stuttered Therese, feeling increasingly hot and also annoyed at herself for always giving Carol the satisfaction of knowing the effect she had on her.

Carol finished buttoning her black shirt and placed her hands on her wife’s shoulders. “Darling, I know you are nervous about this, and it is understandable, but I can assure you that everything will be alright.” 

“I know it’ll be fine, it’s just that I’m not familiar with the concept of anyone that’s not you thoroughly analyzing my face, let alone it being on a large canvas displayed on a wall.”

“You trust Mark, don’t you?” Therese nodded. “Then try not to worry too much about it since I’m sure he made sure that the picture is 110% perfect.”

Therese smiled and stood to place a soft kiss to her wife’s lips. “I love your ability to say the right words at the right time.”

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Abby and Crystal were there to watch Rindy while the two were at the gallery. 

“MOMS! Aunt Abby is here!” Rindy called out from her spot on the couch.

Carol quickly threw on her silver blazer before opening the door. Abby and Crystal were on the other side, looking a little out of breath.

“Do I even want to-?”

“NO!” the two women snapped at the same time.

Carol chuckled and looked down at her Apple watch. “At least you made it here on time.”

The two women were welcomed with a big hug from Rindy and then immediately dragged into the young girl’s room. Carol checked her phone for a bit while she waited for Therese to finish with her makeup. When the young woman left their room, Carol stared at her with wide eyes before dramatically pretending to faint on the couch.

“Carol!” Therese giggled. “Get up!”

“Sorry, it’s just you look really hot and I couldn’t handle it, so I fainted.” Carol smirked.

“If we don’t go now we’re going to be late.” Therese grabbed her purse and keys.

The couple was almost out the door before they heard Abby yell out, “Don’t be out too late, Crystal and I have things to do later tonight.”

* * *

Therese and Carol headed to the exhibition which was being held at an old textile factory in Lower Manhattan that had been converted into a gallery. 

“If you get nervous again, just think of it as forty of me looking at your beautiful face,” said Carol as she looked Therese in the eyes before they walked in. Those words put the young woman at ease.

As soon as they walked in, Therese fell in love with the place. It had distressed walls, high ceilings, and aged wooden flooring. There were several alcoves, and photographs lined the walls with a short description next to each. There were several black and white portraits and Therese was floored by Mark’s beautiful experimentation with light and shadow. While they were simple and natural, they were all incredibly emotive. 

“Hello Therese!” Mark greeted them with two flutes of champagne. “You must be Carol. I’m honored to meet the wife of one of the most talented women I know! She speaks very highly of you.”

“I’m glad,” Carol held out her hand for Mark to shake. “Thank you for finally convincing her to be on the other side of the camera for once. Up until now, Therese hasn’t had her picture taken by a _ professional _.” Therese peered at her wife and nudged her in her side.

“It’s always a pleasure.” Mark smiled.

“So now that we’re here, where is my picture?” the brunette asked.

The man pointed at a large group of people. “It’s behind that mass of people over there.”

Both Carol and Therese’s mouths dropped to the floor. Therese reached for her wife’s hand and entwined their fingers before walking to the display. As if the people knew she was there, the sea of people parted to let them go to the front. At first both women were speechless. It felt strange to be looking at it there amongst all the others. Therese glanced at Carol, trying to read her expression as she stared at the photograph, seemingly transfixed. 

“I-” Carol began, her eyes starting to water. “I love this. This is so breathtaking.”

Therese looked at her wife with the biggest grin on her face. Carol met her gaze.

“Darling, I hope you know this is what I see every time I look at you. Your emerald eyes speak a million words when I look into them. This picture just proves my point.”

Therese teared up. “I love you, Carol. More than you will ever know.”

“I love you, too.” Carol wrapped her arm around Therese’s shoulders and placed a kiss to her temple.

They walked around the entire gallery looking at Mark’s pictures before Carol excused herself to use the restroom. While she was gone, Therese got caught up looking at a portrait of a young girl with a camera in her hands. She was smiling but her eyes betrayed a certain hidden sadness and something about her reminded Therese of herself when she was younger. She thought about how much she had changed since she met Carol, not only in terms of feeling happier in life but she also noticed how her confidence and self esteem were slowly improving. She felt inspired in fact to try a few self-portraits as well, which she would never have even considered a little earlier. She had always hidden away behind the camera but she felt ready to experiment a little. 

Therese suddenly heard footsteps approaching and snapped out of her thoughts. She saw Carol walking towards her, holding a framed portrait, wrapped in brown paper with a thin string tied around it. 

“Carol, you didn’t!” gasped Therese. 

“Of course I did!” said Carol, “It’s so beautiful and I want a beautiful portrait of yours as well, you’ve taken so many of mine. It’s my turn now.” 

“You know I love you right?” asked Therese, taking her hand in hers. 

“I may have guessed”, replied Carol, smiling and placing a kiss on her cheek, “Come on, let’s go eat, I’m starved!” 

* * *

Carol drove them south to the [Battery Park City](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/62/Battery_Park.JPG) to have a quick romantic dinner at Battery Gardens restaurant. Therese had never been to that part of the city in the time she had been living there which made her realize that they didn’t go out as much as they used to. The view of the city was absolutely breathtaking. Once inside the restaurant, they ordered oysters and wine to celebrate Therese’s special night. They ate mostly in silence, stealing glances and smiles while they enjoyed each other’s company. 

“We have to do this more often...just us,” quietly spoke Therese, breaking the comfortable silence. She was playing with the remains on her plate before she looked up at Carol and gave her an apologetic smile.

“I know, angel,” replied Carol as she slid a hand on top of the table and grabbed Therese’s hand in hers. “We’ve been dealing with so much lately. I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK, Carol. You don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m going to change that,” she whispered with a warm smile.

They didn’t order dessert since they didn’t want to stay away from home much longer in order to not keep Abby and Crystal hostage. Carol paid for the bill, not without having a little fight with Therese over it. After they put their coats on, Carol took Therese by the hand and together they headed to the door, but instead of walking to where they had parked the car, the blonde began to walk in the opposite direction. 

“Carol, it’s late. Where are you going?” asked Therese, showing some resistance.

“I promise it won’t take much time,” replied Carol as she gave her a wink and pulled on Therese’s hand. 

The night was already cold but the proximity with the water made it feel even colder. They walked the rest of the way in silence, with their heels echoing in the quiet night and their breaths floating in the air like white smoke. When they finally arrived at their destination, Therese let out a gasp. Carol had walked her to one of the [Statue of Liberty](https://live.staticflickr.com/3949/15678990562_94b0936af7_b.jpg) view points, the one with the closest view. There, in the middle of the darkness of waters and the sky, stood one of the most emblematic statues known to humankind. Therese had seen the Statue of Liberty a couple of times before, but still it didn’t cease to amaze her everytime she laid eyes on it. Therese gave a few steps forward and placed both hands on the cold rail without breaking eye contact. Carol closed the gap between them and wrapped her hands around Therese’s waist in a tight embrace. 

It’s so beautiful...and majestic,” pointed out Therese.

Carol leaned her head against Therese’s before she began to recite the famous sonnet next to the younger woman’s ear.

_ Give me your tired, your poor, _

_ Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, _

_ The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, _

_ Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, _

_ I lift my lamp beside the golden door! _

Therese felt a shiver run down her spine and not because of the cold weather. The meaning behind those words recited by Carol pierced Therese right through her heart. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh as a single tear fell down her cheek. Carol placed a kiss on the brunette’s head before she continued talking.

“You, my love like many others, came to this land with a head full of dreams. You didn’t let fear get in the way and stop you from following your heart’s wishes.”

Carol unwrapped her arms from around Therese and used her hands to turn the brunette around to face her. Therese looked back at her with watery eyes and before she knew it, another tear began to run down her face. Carol was quick and gently wiped it with her thumb before Therese could do it herself. 

“Tonight was a glimpse of what I’m sure you will achieve with your work one day,” Carol said, still holding Therese’s face with her hand. “Promise me you’ll never stop dreaming.”

“I won’t, as long as you are by my side,” replied Therese before she wrapped her arms around Carol’s shoulders and kissed her. 

* * *

Many weeks passed and winter finally settled down on the city with a snowfall which wasn’t that usual. Although the snow had stopped two days ago, a heavy rain had started to pour that morning and it didn’t seem like it would stop anytime soon. The weather forecast had emitted a communication early that morning to be alert on icy roads and ask drivers to drive safely. Now it was the early afternoon and Therese had managed to finish her work at the studio earlier and decided to buy some time downtown before she had to pick up Rindy from school. She walked downstairs to the small garage space underneath the building where she always parked her car. She was approaching her car when she suddenly stopped in her tracks. There was a yellow and white colored cat with green eyes laying on top of the roof staring back at her. At first Therese stayed still, unsure of what to do next. She hoped the cat would get scared of her and jump off but it didn’t, it stayed on its spot on the roof as if it were its rightful owner. Therese took a deep breath before she continued to walk towards her car. She could hear her heart beating in her ears. She had never been a big fan of cats. She had never trusted them, always afraid that they would jump at her. Once she was standing just a few inches away from the car, the cat got up from its lying position, not without taking its sweet time to stretch its back. The cat sat down and looked at Therese with defiant eyes and meowed at her, as if daring her to make the next move. Therese slowly raised a trembling hand, and placed it lightly on top of the cat’s head, never breaking eye contact. The cat immediately began to rub its head against Therese’s warm hand and at the same time, it purred loudly. Just when Therese felt comfortable enough to move her hand down the cat’s back, the cat looked at her one last time before it jumped off the roof and disappeared. 

It took Therese a couple of seconds to recover from that strange situation. She began chuckling to herself and wondering if she had imagined the scene as she opened the car door. She had just sat down on her seat when her phone started to ring. She rummaged through her bag until she got hold of it and saw that it was Carol.

“Hey…,” answered the brunette.

“It’s my fault! It’s all my fault!” cried Carol on the other side of the phone. She was crying.

“Carol, what’s going on?” inquired Therese, feeling her heartbeat starting to race.

“Harge… he’s dead.”

“What? How... when?” Therese’s head was spinning, unable to process Carol’s words.

“There was a fight between inmates… and he’s dead now…”

“Oh God, Carol,” stuttered Therese. She took a moment to breathe and let her brain catch up before she continued. “But, where are you? Let me pick you up.”

“I’m on my way to prison. I have to go… I… _ was _his closest contact,” she explained between sobs.

“Carol please, you can’t drive like this, and with this weather!” Therese could feel her anxiety growing with each passing second. 

“I did this. Rindy lost her father because of me…”

“No Carol, stop! Let me…” 

There was a loud noise before the line went dead. 

“CAROL!” she yelled into her phone but there was no sound.

Therese looked at her phone screen with stinging eyes and dialed her number again. The phone rang and rang and continued to ring on the side of a cold rainy road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my 18 year old cat that passed away this last Wednesday. Watching you go was so painful. You'll be greatly missed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I'm back! Sorry for the unexpected hiatus but I needed to take a little break. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to keep up with the schedule I had so from now on I’ll be writing whenever I feel like doing it. It’s been hard to stay motivated so I’m not going to keep pressuring myself, especially during these trying times. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one.

Therese hung up the phone after having tried a couple more times to communicate with Carol but without success. There were tears running down her cheeks. She knew something was wrong with Carol, and she could feel it in her heart and in every cell of her body. She looked at the time on her phone and realised she should already be on her way to pick up Rindy from school, but there was no possible way for her to be able to do so with all this happening right now, so she picked up her phone again. 

“Hi Therese. How’s it going?” asked Abby from the other side of the line.

“Abby…” managed to say Therese before she began to cry.

“Therese, what’s wrong?” exclaimed Abby.

“It’s Ca-... Carol,” she said between sobs. “Something happened to her.”

“What do you mean by that? Therese, you’re scaring me!”

“I don’t know. She called me to tell me that Harge died…”

“WHAT? Oh my God!” cried Abby.

“She was crying… she was on her way to prison when…” Therese made a pause and tried to remember if the noise she had heard just before the call with Carol ended had been real. “I heard a noise and the call went dead.”

“And? Did you call her again?”

“Yes I did but she’s not answering. Abby…” Therese took a deep breath before she continued. “I know something happened to her. I can feel it,” she said, putting a hand on her heart. 

“Therese, we don’t know that…” Abby’s voice trailed off.

“I know. I’m sure of it,” affirmed Therese with a trembling voice. 

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes. I need you to go pick Rindy up from school. I can’t do it right now, not until I know what happened to Carol.”

“Of course, don’t worry about it.”

“And please don’t tell her anything just yet, not even about Harge. Tell her that something came up.”

“Please, keep me updated.”

“I will. Thank you, Abby.”

Therese ended the call and quickly placed another one to Dannie and gave him the same introduction as Abby moments before. 

“Dannie, I know something happened to Carol… I don’t know where she is, and I don’t want to wait for a phone call to know what happened to her. What if it’s too late?”

“It won’t be, Therese. Let me think…” There was a brief silence and Therese could hear her own heavy breathing against the phone. “Did you activate that feature I told you about on both your phones? The one that traces it in case it gets lost?” asked Dannie.

“I-... I think we have…,” stammered Therese.

“Well check!” ordered Dannie.

Therese left the call on speaker and went to her phone’s apps and searched for the “Find phone” one. She remembered that some time ago both Carol and her had synchronized their phones in order to be able to track them in case one got stolen or went missing. And not long after that, Carol had almost lost her phone, but thanks to this app, they had been able to trace it back to her office where she had left it behind.

Therese opened the app and selected Carol’s phone to start the search and she waited the excruciating few seconds it took the system to localize the phone holding her breath. Suddenly, the map moved and a pin with Carol’s name on it appeared on the other side of the city. Based on what the phone was showing her, Carol hadn’t made it outside the city but she was around 40 minutes north of where Therese was. 

“I found her! She’s 40 minutes away.”

“Good! Now, go find her but please be careful, Therese!”

“I will. I promise.”

Therese threw the phone on the passenger seat and managed to start the car on the third try since her hands were shaking with anxiety and fear. She was anxious to get to where Carol was but she was also very scared of what she’d find once she arrived there. She shook her head to shake those negative thoughts before she put the car in reverse. 

It was just a little past 4:30 PM but the winter sun had already set for the day. The pouring rain and the dim light outside made it almost impossible to see; the front car lights reflecting in tiny light filaments against the windshield were the only visible thing making the ride up north positively difficult. Therese kept the car at a relatively low speed despite her urge to arrive at the location. _ The last thing you need right now is to get yourself into an accident, too, _ she kept repeating herself. The ceaseless sound of the rain drops hitting against the windshield as well as the mechanical sound of the windshield wipers seemed to help Therese relax a little after a while. Just when Therese was about to check her phone one last time to make sure that she was close to the pinned point, she noticed the red and blue lights from an ambulance sparkling in the dark not far away. She slowed her car and when she stopped it, she felt her heart sink inside of her. She unfastened her seatbelt and opened the car door without turning the car off. As soon as she stepped out of the car, Therese felt the cold icy raindrops piercing down on her head and down her face making her squint her eyes but she didn’t care. She began to walk towards the ambulance parked on the opposite side of the road but as she got closer, she stopped in her tracks as her eyes fell upon the two cars lying on an intersection just a few feet away from her. The accident spot was also illuminated by the headlights of the police car blocking the way. Carol’s car was upside down with the driver’s side damaged from the impact with the other car involved, which was a few inches away in a perpendicular direction from it. Therese’s body began to shake, but it wasn’t because of the cold or the rain. She took a few steps back before she made a run to shorten the distance with the ambulance almost losing her balance on the wet and icy concrete. 

“CAROL!” she barely managed to yell when she finally made it to the ambulance. Its back doors were open and there were two paramedics bent over the stretcher blocking her sight. 

“Excuse me, you can’t be here,” said one of the paramedics as he stood up. In that moment, Therese was able to see that it was a man lying on the stretcher.

“Where is she?”, she asked with wide eyes. “I need to see my wife, please! Is she OK?” she pleaded in a shaky breath.

“The other ambulance left some minutes ago,” said the man standing before her.

“Where?!”

“To the nearest hospital. That’s where we’re heading. You can follow us with your car,” he replied pointing to Therese’s car before he reached for the ambulance doors.

“OK… yes. Thank you,” she added before turning back to her car. 

With the ambulance leading the way, Therese grabbed her phone to make a quick call to Dannie and let him know that she was on her way to the hospital. She did the same with Abby next.

“Rindy keeps asking me where both of you are. She knows something is going on,” whispered Abby. “I don’t know what to tell her.”

“Don’t tell her anything… not until I know how Carol is. I don’t want her to worry, but by the look of her car…” The tears that had been threatening to fall finally did, and she couldn’t control her sobs as she imagined Carol trapped inside her car, alone and hurting.

“Stop! Don’t say it! Everything will be fine. Stay calm, please. She needs you to be strong, Therese.”

Those last words brought Therese back to the present. She took a deep breath as she cleaned her eyes with the back of her hand, still holding the phone. 

“Therese? Are you there?” asked Abby.

“Yes. I'll call you later.”

The instant the emergency doors opened and she crossed through them, Therese ran for the emergency bay. She made an abrupt stop on her heels and rested both hands on top of the desk to avoid colliding against it. The violent arrival startled the receptionist who while on the phone, gave Therese a judging look before she turned her back on her. Therese stared at the back of the woman’s head with wide-open eyes, mentally screaming at her to hang up but as seconds passed, the woman continued her chat nonchalantly. Therese felt her body shaking out of frustration more than the cold due to her wet hair, and for a split second, she contemplated running down the hall, past doors to try and find Carol on her own, but she knew that she’d probably get caught before she did so. She just needed to know that Carol was safe.

“Ex-...” Therese cleared her throat before trying again. “Excuse me.”

The receptionist turned around once again and looked at Therese with the same hard, unfriendly expression as before. 

“I need to find someone…my wife had…” she could feel her words choking in her throat making her unable to continue to speak. She looked at the older woman with watery pleading eyes. In response, the older woman muttered something into the phone and hung up. 

“Say again?” asked the woman, finally focusing on Therese. 

Therese took a deep breath to control her nerves before she spoke again. “My wife had a car accident not far away from here. She was brought here in an ambulance. I need to know how she is. Please.”

“What’s her name?” 

“Carol Ross.”

The woman typed on the computer in front of her and after a few seconds that felt like hours she looked back at Therese again.

“She was admitted a couple of minutes ago. The doctors are still treating her. She arrived unconscious. That’s all I have for now. You can wait down the hall,” said the woman pointing to a corridor to her left. 

“Thank you,” Therese whispered before she turned around and headed for the waiting room. 

There were a couple of people already sitting in the row of seats, some of them in need of medical assistance by the look of their faces. There was a free spot near the door that separated the waiting room from the emergency room where Carol had been admitted, so Therese didn’t hesitate to claim it in order to be alert, incase a doctor passed through. She sat down crossing her arms to keep her body from shaking too much, her disheveled appearance inviting some stares. She kept her eyes glued to the door, anxiously waiting for it to open. 

After a while, a doctor dressed in a white robe entered the room and Therese was about to jump off her seat when he called for another name and a couple near Therese stood up. She watched as they approached the doctor, the man holding the woman in her arms as they walked, and the view of them made Therese feel lonely and desperate. The doctor spoke to them in a low voice making it impossible to hear the news but it wasn’t hard to imagine based on the piercing cry the woman let out in response. This heartbreaking scene unraveled Therese’s worst fears inside of her, forcing her to close her eyes and cover her ears to escape the suddenly suffocating room around her. _ Please, let Carol be alright. Don’t take her yet. _Therese found herself placing her trust in God, after so many years without doing so. She had never felt a strong connection to God, although she had been raised with his image most of her life. A part of her refused to believe that this God let her parents die, making her an orphan by default. He had turned his back on her. But right in that moment, in that cold and desperate state, Therese was more than willing to make amends. She needed to believe, and let that belief be her anchor keeping her safe from the stormy sea that was her head. 

She stayed in this sort of trance for a while, her tired and aching body almost giving in when she heard a faint voice say the name Ross. She opened her eyes in a flash, taking her hands off her ears. When she looked up, she found a dark haired woman in green scrubs standing a few feet away from her. Therese swallowed the lump she didn’t know she had in her throat and stood up; and when she did so, the woman in green focused her eyes on her and began to walk towards her. Therese took a deep breath and held her right arm with her left hand tightly. 

“Are you a relative or Mrs. Ross?” asked the woman.

“Y- yes. I’m her wife. How is she?” 

“She’s stable now. She arrived here unconscious as a result of the accident. We ran a CT scan which revealed a traumatic head injury resulting in a bleeding in the brain that…”

“Oh God…” she uttered followed by a loud gasp. Therese took one hand to her mouth and at the same time she closed her eyes, preparing herself for the worst. 

“She’s fine,” the surgeon quickly added, grabbing Therese by the shoulder.

“She is?” Therese asked as she opened her eyes again.

“We stopped the bleeding. Her head suffered a big impact which caused the bleeding and the pressure around the skull. She also has a broken clavicle and small cuts and bruises around her face.”

“Can I see her?”

“She must stay…”

“Please,” Therese cut her off with tears running down her face.

“I’m sorry, but she needs to remain under close observation for the night so that we can keep monitoring the brain pressure. She will stay sedated in order to reduce the swelling as well as the pain. There’s nothing more you can do here, so go home and get some rest.”

“I can’t leave her. What if...”

“She’ll need you strong when she wakes up. I’ll let you know right away if something changes. Alright?”

Therese noded in response. 

As she made it outside, she felt each step heavier than the last, as if an invisible string was pulling her back, not letting her go. She wanted to stay with Carol, but she also knew that Rindy was waiting for her worried and confused and she needed to tell the little girl the news, not only about Carol but also about Harge. Just the bare thought of having to do this alone, without Carol by her side, made her stomach twist. But the fact that no matter what happened, Rindy wouldn’t end up alone like Therese did when she was a child herself, gave her a little light to guide her through these dark times. 

Once inside her car, she looked at the time reflecting back from the dashboard and was surprised to find out it was barely 7:00 PM. The physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion she had experienced in such a short amount of time weighed on her like sleepless days; and the day was yet to be over. She sent a quick text to Abby to let her know that she'd be on her way back home. With a long sigh, she put on her seatbelt and turned the car engine on. The deafening silence inside the car only gave life to the little voice in her head telling her to turn back, so she pressed the radio button and turned it on to let the music fill in the cracks. 

[ _I was scared, I was scared_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)   
[ _Tired and under prepared_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)   
[ _But I wait for it_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)

[ _If you go, if you go_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)   
[ _Leave me down here on my own_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)   
[ _Then I'll wait for you (yeah)_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)

[ _…_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)

[ _In my place, in my place_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)   
[ _Were lines that I couldn't change_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)   
[ _And I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnIZ7RMuLpU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you my dear Beate for always listening to my rambling and ideas for each chapter; you’re the best editor I’ll ever have! And thank you Ansi for always beta reading!
> 
> Resist ♥️


	14. Chapter 14

Therese closed the apartment door behind her and let out a sigh. The smell of onion or garlic or maybe both hit her nose making her stomach automatically rumble, but that feeling was quickly replaced by a ball of emptiness. Any other day, she’d feel happy to arrive home especially after a long day at work; and her reward being to spend the rest of the day with the two loves of her life. Carol would have started dinner for her, filling the air with that welcoming and unmistakably smell of  _ home _ . But Therese knew, as soon as she closed the door, that this time wasn’t like any of those happy days. 

She turned around slowly and her eyes met Abby’s who was standing a few feet away from her in the hall. They stood still, both staring into each other’s eyes in silence as if trying to communicate all the turmoil of emotions that words failed to describe. After a couple of heartbeats, Abby took a few steps towards Therese and wrapped her arms tightly around the young one. Therese closed her eyes and let out another sigh only this time she could feel her whole body trembling with it. She circled her hands around Abby’s waist and for a second, she basked in the warmness and the closeness of that hug. In the short time she and Abby had been friends, they had never shared such an intimate and heartfelt embrace for at that moment; they were two women brought together and united by the same love for Carol. 

“Where’s mom?” Rindy suddenly asked from behind, startling both women.

Therese was the first one to break the embrace. Abby didn’t let go of her without giving Therese a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. Therese closed the gap between her and Rindy and got down on her knees before the little girl. 

“Rindy, my little one. I need you to listen to me,” began Therese as she brushed off some hairs from Rindy’s face and looked into her innocent eyes while trying to keep her emotions at bay. “But most importantly, I need you to know that I love you and that you’ll never be alone, alright?”

Rindy answered with a nod, both confusion and worry painted all over her face.

“Your mom…” she continued as she took both of Rindy’s hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. “She’s in the hospital because she had a car accident. The rain made the road icy and so she lost control of the car and crashed with another car. She hit her head very badly; so badly that now she needs medicine to keep her asleep.” 

Therese made a pause in her narration to check on Rindy and give her time to let the words sink in. The little girl cast her eyes down to their joint hands and stared at them in silence. Therese could imagine what was possibly going through Rindy’s head, given that Therese herself had gone through the same kind of life-changing news at almost her same age. But no matter how much she wanted to push away those thoughts from Rindy’s head to keep her from suffering, she needed to let her take her time. Therese looked down and gently began to brush her thumb over Rindy’s hand back and forth as a way to silently demonstrate Rindy her support and understanding. 

“Is she going to be OK?”, asked Rindy after what felt like an eternity.

Therese looked up to find the little girl staring back at her with watery eyes. Therese couldn’t help feeling a pang in her stomach.

“Yes, the doctors are taking good care of her now.”

“Can I go see her?” asked Rindy with a quivery voice. 

“Soon, my little one,” replied Therese as she caressed Rindy’s head and forced a smile. “She needs a lot of rest now and that’s why she has to stay asleep to help her head heal.”

The first part of the news was now done. Therese felt a knot starting to form in her throat, catching her breath for she knew what was coming next. She let her hands drop on top of her tights, her head and shoulders curling like a deflated air dancer. She felt so small at that moment, and so desperately alone she fought the urge to curl up on the floor like a vulnerable baby. She needed Carol at her side now more than ever; she longed for those blue eyes that never failed to make her feel safe and capable of anything. But Therese knew that she had to do the right thing, no matter how painful. Rindy needed to know the truth from  _ her _ , and not from somebody else’s lips.

“Mommy…?” asked Rindy with a worried look. She reached out and pushed Therese’s chin up with one hand.

Therese made eye contact with the little girl once again but when she opened her mouth to speak no words came out. With her eyes still looking down, she cleared her throat to ease some of the pressure chocking her but nothing came out. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder making Therese jump. She had forgotten that Abby was still behind her, silently witnessing her struggle to find the words to continue. Therese looked to her right as Abby knelt next to her, her hand still on her shoulder.

“Rindy, love,” croaked Therese before she cleared her throat to ease some of the pressure chocking her. She tied to speak again but nothing came out. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder making Therese jump. She had forgotten that Abby was still behind her, silently witnessing her struggle to find the words to continue. Therese looked to her right as Abby knelt next to her, her hand still on her shoulder.

“There’s something else you need to know,” said Abby as she grabbed one of Rindy’s hands in hers and looked her in the eyes. 

Therese could feel the avalanche of emotions threatening to burry her so she took a deep breath and let it back out in a shaky way. Abby turned her face to Therese and gave her a light squeeze on her shoulder and waited for Therese who quickly gave her a nod in response before turning her head back to Rindy.

“Harge, y-... your dad,” stuttered Abby. “There was a fight in prison and…” 

“Is he OK?” interrupted Rindy, looking at Abby and Therese back and forth with wide-open eyes.

In response, Therese took a hand to her mouth. The weight of that answer fell over her without mercy, leaving her speechless once again. She looked back at Abby as her eyes began to fill with tears, the same storm of emotions manifesting on Abby’s face. 

“I can’t… I can’t,” whispered Therese as she shook her head. She stood up and took a few steps back before she turned to the side and bent over the small table by the door with both hands.

“What happened?” demanded Rindy with a raised voice now looking at Abby.

Therese closed her eyes, preparing herself to hear the words that would change Rindy’s life forever. The same words that had changed Therese’s life all those years ago. She could feel her heart beating furiously threatening to leave her chest. 

“He died,” finally breathed out Abby. 

A deafening silence followed those words; similar to that piercing sound which follows after an explosion and makes you feel as if you had stepped into another dimension and you’re no longer standing in the same room as you did just seconds before. But she could hear those last words still echoing in her ears. After a few seconds which felt like light-years, Therese shook her head to bring herself back to the present; and when she finally turned her head to her left, she caught, as if in slow motion, the exact moment when Abby’s words hit Rindy, like watching a penny finally hitting the ground. The little girl’s innocent face quickly changed into one of torment and agony resembling a Munch painting. Her eyes mirroring the pain she wasn’t able to express with words; eyes that promptly began to fill with tears. Her sobs were imperceptible at first, but as soon as her chest tremors grew stronger, there was no stopping the dam from breaking. Rindy let out a long siren-like cry, followed by an angry river of tears. She took a step back from Abby’s grip as if trying to escape from the frightening truth set free seconds before. Abby in response tightened her grip and brought Rindy towards her and wrapped her arms around her small frame, both hands against her back pushing her impossibly closer. Rindy closed her eyes and leaned her head on Abby’s shoulder, as more tears rolled down her face.

Therese stood frozen while her mind spun around like an angry Carousell spinning out of control. Just when her mind was threatening to shut down due to overdrive, Abby turned her face towards her and looked at her with watery and imploring eyes. And with that, the switch in Therese’s mind was turned off and her body was finally able to kick back in motion again. She pushed herself back forwards and back to the floor, landing on her knees right on the same spot next Abby. Therese bent over Rindy’s frame and carefully pushed away a few hairs that had stuck on Rindy’s face, startling the little girl. Therese stared into her hazel eyes for a few seconds before she kissed her forehead and gently nuzzled her cheek against the girl’s head. The three of them stayed close inside that embrace sharing their pain and for the first time in the day, Therese felt a wave of relief lifting her. 

Despite Abby’s insistence to stay throughout the night and rest, Therese carefully got out of bed when it was still very early in the morning. The bedroom was almost completely dark except for the small amount of light filtering through the half-closed curtains. She didn’t turn any lights on to not wake up Rindy who was still sleeping on her side. Therese had carried her there in her arms after the shared crying had given room to exhaustion. Therese hadn’t planned to fall asleep but as soon as her body hit the bed, it collapsed and shut down immediately without warning. Her mind didn’t rest though as she kept hearing Carol’s name echoing in the depths of her sleep. 

Once inside the bathroom, Therese took off her clothes from the previous day and she immediately felt as if some weight had been lifted off her body. Then she stepped into the shower and let the hot water droplets soothe her stiffed and aching muscles. She stayed immobilized under the streaming water until her shoulders started to burn. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair so she grabbed the soap bar and quickly began to soap up her arms, torso, as well as other body parts. She dried her body and hair with a towel as best she could to avoid making any loud noises in such early hours in the morning. She finished off by putting on the fresh clothes that she had randomly picked by hand.

When she finally stepped into the living room to search for her phone, she almost let out a scream when she saw Abby’s silhouette, barely illuminated by the hallway light, lying on the couch. The few hours of sleep had left Therese’s mind far from rested and she had forgotten that Abby had decided, after too much insisting on her part, to stay with them overnight in case of an emergency. Therese quietly tiptoed her way to the coffee, her eyes on Abby who had her covered back to Therese, and just when Therese was about to reach out for her phone, Abby suddenly turned around making Therese gasp. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I was going to text you later.”

“It’s fine, I was just resting my eyes,” replied Abby as she sat up on the couch and stretched her back muscles. “I couldn’t fall asleep.”

“Me neither. I just can’t stay here while she’s there all alone. But I also don’t want to leave Rindy,” Therese trailed off as she put her phone in her pocket.

“She won’t be alone, that’s why I’m here. Go to her,” said Abby with a warm smile.

“Thank you. Thank you so much for everything,” and with that Therese turned on her heels and headed for the door. 

* * *

It was still dark outside when Therese walked in through the same hospital doors she had just a couple of hours before and yet it felt as if time hadn’t passed. But time had indeed passed: the emergency corridors and waiting rooms looked a bit more crowded now and the woman at the reception desk wasn’t the same Therese had talked to before. People had moved, they had come and gone despite her misperception of time. Therese walked up to the reception desk once again, this time with a different kind of uncertainty as the first time. After providing the same introduction of who she was, the woman behind the desk informed her that Carol had been moved to the second floor where the intensive care unit was located. Therese turned around and began to walk towards the elevators at the opposite side but midtrack she decided to take the stairs to avoid having to wait for the elevator to arrive. She made her way up in a flash, taking two steps at the time making her slightly out of breath by the time she pushed open the door to the second floor. The walls around here were painted in a more creamy white color, and the corridors were as long but with different white-colored doors on each side. She approached what seemed to be a doctor’s bay judging by their outfits so she walked past them trying to not draw too much attention on her just in case. She kept walking while looking at the room numbers printed on top of each door until she found the one she was looking for. The door was closed which made Therese feel more nervous than she already was. She began to scratch her head nervously thinking if she should knock or wait for someone to approach her before entering the room, but after a rush of anxiety, she grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open. The familiar beeping sounds of machines welcomed her into the otherwise silent room. She had only managed to give a few steps towards the bed when she was immediately stopped o her tracks by one of the nurses.

“These ain’t visiting hours. You can’t be here, ma’am,” announced the nurse in a quiet but stern voice.

To Therese, those words sounded from far away the moment her eyes fell on Carol. She was lying in bed, with tubes and cables connected to her, reminding Therese of the first time she had met Carol’s mother. Therese had to blink a couple of times for she didn’t recognize Carol who had her beautiful golden hair tucked underneath a band wrapped around her head, and the oxygen mask covering most of her face. She was about to give another step closer to her but a and o her shoulder stopped her from doing so. She shifted her eyes from Carol to the nurse focusing on her for the first time since she had stepped in. 

“You must leave,” said the nurse.

“Two minutes, _please_,” pleaded Therese with tears in her eyes. “I need to see her, to touch her…” said Therese looking back at Carol.

“One minute,” replied the nurse as she removed her hand setting Therese free.

“Thank you,” Therese whispered as she quickly walked towards the bed. 

She stood next to the bed, her eyes slowly drinking in the image in front of her. Now she could see the bruises and cuts covering Carol’s pale face. Her left arm was resting across her chest in some kind of brace. Therese wanted to reach out and caress her face but she restrained herself from doing so and instead took Carol’s fingers delicately between her hand. 

“I’m here, Carol. I’m here and I love you,” she murmured as tears began to fall down her face. “I’m not going to leave you a-...”

“You must go now,” interrupted the nurse. “Please, don’t make me call security.”

Therese gave Carol’s fingers a light squeeze before she turned around and headed for the door and close it behind her. 

With a clouded mind and heart, she began to walk aimlessly, her legs moving forwards in autopilot mode. She finally made a stop in front of a vending machine down the corner when her stomach started to grumble automatically. She could not remember when has been the last time she had eaten something. She slipped both hands inside her back jean pockets looking for some change.

“Fuck,” cursed Therese when she realized she had left the coins with her other jeans at home. She banged her head against the glass defeated. 

“Here, let me help you,” said a warm voice behind her.

Therese, startled, turned around to find a petit black old lady holding a small purse in her hand.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” apologized Therese.

“I insist. You look like you haven’t eaten in days,” said the old lady as made her way past Therese. “How does a sandwich sound?” she asked without turning her back.

“It sounds great. Thank you.” 

She watched as the old lady inserted coin after coin and until she pressed the bottom for the sandwich. She added a couple more next to release a bottle of water as well. There noticed how the old lady began to bend over with difficulty so she quickly stepped over.

“I’ve got it,” said Therese pulling from the dispensing door and retrieving the products. “I-... thank you so much. I will pay you back.”

“Nonsense! Let’s sit over there,” ordered the old lady as she began to walk towards the chairs near them. Therese followed suit. 

They sat down and Therese immediately began to unwrap the sandwich, her mouth already watery. 

“Where’s that lovely accent of yours from?”

“It’s Czech,” answered Therese with her mouth full. “I was born in the Czech Republic.”

“I’ve never met someone from the Czech Republic before,” said the old lady with a surprised face.

“My name is Therese,” she added shyly. “What’s yours?” 

“Mine’s Tammye, but everyone calls me Tam,” she said with a warm smile.

Therese was captivated by her big, dark, and loving eyes; and yet there was a sort of veil of sorrow covering them. Deep down she knew that this woman had experienced pain despite her strong and brave outlook. 

“I don’t mean to be rude,” began Therese as she swallowed down a bite. “Can I ask why you’re here?”

“My husband, my sweet Ray. He suffered a stroke some days ago and he hasn’t woken up since.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that. It must be hard.”

“It’s OK. We’ve spent a long and happy life together,” she said with a weary smile. “It’s inevitable. But you know what’s really hard?” she suddenly asked with a serious face making Therese stop eating. “Losing one’s son.” 

“What happened to him?” asked Therese discarding her half-eaten sandwich feeling no longer hungry. 

“I guess you could say he was on the wrong side of town at the wrong time, and he was black.” she began as she looked down at her hands. “It was late at night. My Jamal was coming back home from work. It started to rain so he decided to take a shortcut through an empty passage. He began to run carrying his favorite comics inside her jacket to protect them from the rain. All of a sudden, a police car stops behind him. My Jamal stops on his tracks. A white policeman gets out of the car and asks my Jamal to not move and turn around slowly, and so he did. When the policeman saw his hand clutched inside his jacket, he pulled out his gun and fired it at him without hesitation.”

Therese let out a loud gasp before she covered her mouth with one hand as she reached out with the other and held Tammye’s hand with the other.

“He had just turned 18,” she said now looking Therese in the eye. “He was a good loving kid who had never gotten into any trouble.” 

“I don’t know what to say. That is just wrong.”

“They’ve treated us as if we don’t matter; as if our lives don’t matter for hundreds of years. I grew up watching others go through the same brutal fate. The day I became a mother, it was both the happiest and saddest day of my life for I knew that I would never live in peace, always fearing for my son’s life.”

At this point, Therese had lost any ability to speak. She had lived in such a different world, a world where her parents had never worried about her wellbeing because of the color of her skin. She had been so disconnected from this kind of painful reality that she now felt utterly small. She had thought she had been through a lot, but hearing this heartbreaking story made her realize that she knew nothing about hardship or loss. And she also realized how much she had still to learn; and how many more stories like this she could reveal with her camera. 

Therese launched herself forward and gave Tammye a warm hug.  _ She smells like home _ , Therese thought. And she made Therese feel safe, so safe that she didn’t want to let go of her. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” said Therese sitting back straight. “It-,  _ you  _ have changed me.”

* * *

A couple of days went by and Therese hardly left Carol’s side at the hospital. The doctors had told Therese that Carol’s head trauma was getting better day after day, there could be after-effects but they couldn’t know for sure until she woke up. She and Rindy would spend some afternoons with Carol, talking about the day or a book since the doctors had encouraged to talk as a positive stimulus. Some late nights, Therese would rest her head on the bed next to Carol and she’d sing her favorite lullaby her mother used to sing to her in Czech. 

A week before Christmas, Therese rushed into Carol’s room out of breath. Abby had offered to stay with her while Therese finished a last-minute Holiday family session. She had just started to tell Abby about the day when she heard a low raspy noise. Therese turned her face around so fast that her neck cracked. She couldn’t believe her eyes: there she was Carol with her eyes opened. She blinked a couple of times as if trying to adjust to the light as she kept clearing her throat underneath the breathing mask. 

“I’m going to call the doctor,” said Abby rushing out of the room.

Therese, still in shock, managed to walk to the bed and place a hand on top of Carol’s uncovered head. 

“Everything’s going to be fine,” she whispered.

A few seconds later, Abby returned with the treating doctor. Therese stepped back to let the doctor do his job. He quickly checked each of Carol’s pupils with a bright flashlight and then proceeded to remove the oxygen mask making sure that she could breathe on her own.

“Ab-by. Where am I?” asked Carol in a cracked low voice. 

“You had a car accident,” started to explain the doctor. “You had a head injury that kept you out for days. Do you remember?”

Carol squinted her eyes in pain as she shook her head. Next, she opened her eyes, fear painted all over them. 

“Where’s Rindy?” she asked trying to get up but the doctor held her down. 

“She’s OK. She’s at school,” replied Therese approaching her one more time. 

“How do-...  _ Who  _ are you?” asked Carol with an astonished face.

“What do you mean, Carol?” questioned Therese equally astonished as her, although she could see the answer begin to form in her head like a snowball rolling down a mountain.

“Who is she, Abby… and why does she know Rindy?” voiced Carol in a higher tone.

“Carol, she’s yo-...”

Therese could barely hear Abby’s last words as she started to run towards the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's been a while. I hope you're still interested in this story after all this time. It's been hard to find the motivation/inspiration within me to continue this but I'm trying so I hope it was worth the wait. 
> 
> Real-life events have always been one of my sources of inspiration for my writing, making me learn about new things, and casting some light on these matters. Therefore, I couldn't stay silent during this BLM movement happening right now and I had to include something about it in this chapter. I'd like my work to reflect the world we're living in some way. I've been reading and learning about this topic, so this is my way to show some love and support. I was inspired by shows like American Son and When They See Us (both on Netflix), as well as articles.
> 
> Many thanks to my big sis and editor Beate for always being there to support me. 
> 
> I don't want to be a bore, but hearing from you and your thoughts on this chapter would bring a much-needed smile to my face. These have been very, very hard days. I hope you're all staying safe. 
> 
> I love you all!
> 
> PS : subscribe to this story in order to get a notification next time I post since I don't have a regular schedule.


	15. Chapter 15

Therese ran out of the room not knowing where to go. She felt like a bird trapped inside a cage made of glass; with each wall showing freedom so far from reach. She reached a far corner of the waiting room and sat on the floor, raising both of her knees to her chest. She hid her head between her knees and wrapped her arms around them to built some sort of cocoon to hide. The words _ Who are you? _kept playing on a loop inside her head, each time cutting deeper like a sharp blade. 

Therese gave a small jump when she felt a hand on her back. For a split second, Therese wondered if all this had just been a very vivid dream, just an awful nightmare. _ She hasn’t forgotten about me_, she told herself. How could she forget her after all they have been through? Wasn’t their love strong enough to survive anything?

Therese tilted her head up a little before she spoke.

“Abby, please leave…”

“It’s me,” said a male voice that Therese immediately identified as the doctor. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said as she sat up straight feeling a little embarrassed. “How is she?”

“She’s asleep now. Come on, let’s sit over there,” replied the doctor as he extended a hand towards Therese to help her up on her feet.

They sat down and there was an awkward silence between them. Therese was still trying to process what had just happened a moment ago, or had it been hours? Her head was still a fuzz, and she wasn’t sure if she could cope with any more bad news. She took a deep breath before she prepared herself to speak again.

“Why can’t she remember me?” she asked without looking up, choking back her tears. 

“She has what we call retrograde amnesia after suffering head trauma like the one she had from the car accident. This condition is _temporary, _and it affects recently formed memories closer to the accident first than older ones. She seems to remember things of her past that happened a long time ago like having a daughter, but not more recent ones, like knowing you.”

There was a pause. Therese shook her head slightly back and forth as she processed the information the doctor had just given her. 

“How long will she stay like this?” she asked, this time looking at the doctor.

“It’s not easy to say, it varies from person to person. It can take anything from weeks to months, or even years to fully recover.”

Therese took a hand to her mouth in shock. _ Years? _ she asked herself. Just the thought of it made her feel nauseous. 

“But let’s focus on what we can do to help her,” said the doctor attempting to calm Therese. “She will have many questions about what happened. The best way to feed her the information is to do it by bits. She may not be able to retain a lot of new information all at once which may overwhelm her and even cause her headaches. So you must be careful with the amount of information you give her. Give her time and be patient if she doesn’t understand something or if she forgets about details quickly. And you must not forget about the emotional aspect in all this; how lost and confused she may feel, not remembering things from her past. She may even feel guilty or pressured to remember, but it’s nobody’s fault, do you understand?” finished the doctor placing a hand on Therese’s shoulder. 

“Yes. Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

“Now, we’ll keep her here another 48 hours just to follow up on her progress, and then she’ll be ready to continue with her recovery at home. It is key to have her at home, surrounded by her things to help her memory. Anything from a smell or a picture can do the trick,” he said with a smile. 

  
  


Therese stepped in the room again and found Abby sitting on the chair next to Carol’s bed. Carol was still asleep, only this time she no longer had the oxygen mask on. Abby stood up and walked towards Therese with a worried face.

“Did you tell her… who I am?” Therese asked in a whisper. 

“I couldn’t,” replied Abby looking down at her feet before she looked up at her again. “I told her that you were someone very important to her. The only person who must tell her the truth is _you_, Therese,” said Abby holding Therese by the arm.

“I know,” she replied looking at Carol and letting out a shaky breath. “I’m scared of her response. What if she doesn’t want me to be around her, or she ha-...?”

“Therese,” interrupted Abby placing a hand on Therese’s face to make her focus on her again. “You’re her wife, you’re her family. _ In sickness and in health_, remember? She needs you now more than ever, even if she can’t express it. But most importantly, she will remember that you were there with her, every step of the way, even after she recovers her memory.”

“I’m scared that she won’t,” confessed Therese as a tear rolled down her face. 

“She will, Therese. We must believe that. You, Rindy, and I will help her to get it back. Don’t give up before trying. You’re tough,” Abby said giving Therese’s shoulder a light squeeze.

“You’re right,” she answered with a smile. “Can you please stay with Rindy tonight?”

“Of course. She will be over the moon when she hears that her mom is awake. You stay with Carol,” added Abby before she gave Therese a tight hug and left.

* * *

By the time Carol woke up again it was already late in the evening. Therese had long finished her dinner provided by the vending machine, and she had curled up with a book on the small couch by the window. Carol looked around the room until her eyes fell on Therese.

“Hey,” said Carol weakly, startling Therese.

“Hey,” she replied as she closed the book not caring to put a mark to it. She stood up and quickly walked towards the bed.

“Is Abby here?” asked Carol, making Therese feel a pang in her stomach.

“No, she’s taking care of Rindy.”

“Why isn’t she with Harge?”

“He’s…,” Therese felt a wave of panic hitting her, almost paralyzing her. But she remembered the words of the doctor on how to proceed. “He’s away,” she opted to say. In another time, this would have been the truth, true enough for Carol to believe it. She felt a pang of guilt for lying to Carol, but that’s what she needed to do for her wellness. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m a bit thirsty… and hungry.”

“Let me help you with some water,” said Therese as she turned to the nightstand and poured some water into a glass. With her left arm still in a bind, Therese carefully helped Carol sit a bit more straight before she held the glass of water on her lips until the blonde finished most of its content.

“Thank you… I’m so sorry, what was your name again?” asked Carol shyly.

“Therese.”

“_Therese,” _ repeated Carol and the sound of it gave Therese chills. It reminded her of the first time Carol said her name all those years ago, in the same amused way. 

They stayed in silence, looking at each other as if they were meeting for the first time. Therese looked straight into those blue eyes hoping she’d find that special spark; something that would tell her that her Carol was still there somewhere. But there was nothing. 

“I’m going to go and find a nurse to bring you something to eat,” Therese broke the silence. “I’ll be right back.”

Therese walked out of the room with her heart beating fast inside her chest, relieved to have an excuse to take a moment and relief the tension building inside of her. 

Both of them didn’t exchange any more words except for when Therese offered Carol to help her eat her plate of soup and she energetically declined, saying that she was capable to eat with one hand. Therese went back to her place on the couch and went through some emails on her phone to give Carol some space but without stealing some glances. A couple of minutes later, she heard the sound metal clashing, sign that Carol had finished eating. Therese got up and quickly pushed the hospital bedside table aside. 

“Do you need anything else?”

“Uhm, yes. But I can call the nurse, don’t worry,” she said shifting on her seat.

“What is it, Carol?” insisted Therese a bit worried.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” she answered looking down trying to hide the blush creeping on her cheeks. 

“No-uh! You’re going to let me help you this time. I’m yo-...” Therese stopped herself from saying those words. This wasn’t the right time. “Let me help you, please.”

Carol looked up at her again and stared right into Therese’s eyes as if trying to find the answer to the millions of questions clouding her head. Therese could read the question_ Why should I trust you? _ forming in Carol’s eyes and she wished that she could push those doubts away. Fortunately, Carol lightly nodded her head in sign of agreement and let Therese remove the covers off her. Therese grabbed Carol’s right arm and slid it across her shoulders while she held the blonde around her waist before she carefully helped Carol stand up. Carol gave a few first weak steps, her long legs still too weak to support her weight, making Therese almost lose her balance given the height difference. She held Carol stronger against her body, her body heat suddenly rising. Together they walked slowly until they finally reached the half-opened bathroom door.

“I can manage from here,” said Carol removing her arm from around Therese and trying to stand straight on her own.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ll use the grab bars on the wall,” she explained giving a few steps past the door. Therese couldn’t help her eyes from focusing on the gap on the back of Carol’s hospital gown. It revealed the slightest amount of that porcelain skin but for Therese, it was more than enough to make her knees go weak. 

“I’ll be right here outside if you need me,” as she began to close the door behind her.

* * *

“Abby told me that you were special to me,” said Carol once she was back in the bed.

“Y-yes,” stuttered Therese who was tucking the pillows behind Carol’s head. She was taken aback by the question for she wasn’t expecting Carol to be this straightforward. “Carol, I have much to tell you, about you and me.” 

“What is it?” asked Carol with a worried face.

Aware of the danger ahead, Therese let out a sigh before she turned around and walked towards the couch. She grabbed her bag from off the floor and took off her wallet before she turned back and headed towards Carol again. Once she stood by her side, she opened her wallet and slid out a folded piece of paper. 

“Here,” said Therese handing the piece of paper to Carol who took it with her only free hand. 

Carol used her fingers to open the folded piece. She let out a gasp when her eyes fell on a picture of her and Therese both in white holding hands and smiling at the camera. It was a picture of their wedding. Carol looked at Therese with big eyes and back to the picture and back at her, unable to say anything. Therese could feel the walls closing around her, suffocating her. 

“So, you and I…” muttered Carol before she took off her eyes from the picture in her hand to look back at Therese. Her face contorted with confusion. 

“Yes. We got married over 2 years ago,” she answered holding her hand up to show the two rings that adorned her finger: one being her engagement ring and the other her wedding band.

“I thought,” said Carol looking down at her own ring laying on her hand with surprise. “This was still Harge’s but Abby told me I had changed my last name to Ross...” she trailed off.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” said Therese looking down trying to cover her embarrassment.

“Not at all,” apologized Carol, making Therese look straight up at her again. “I mean, I’m glad to hear that it’s finally over with him.” Carol smiled.

Therese felt another pang in her stomach which she tried to hide with a reciprocating smile. 

“Where did we meet?” continued Carol.

“At the photography school,” answered Therese with a dimpled smile on her face, those memories always bringing her happiness. “I was a student.”

“Oh, I see. You look so young.”

“I’m 21,” replied Therese casting her eyes down feeling self-aware of her age. A brief silence followed. 

“We look happy,” added Carol as she handed back the picture to Therese, their fingertips brushing in the process, sparking a flame inside of Therese. 

“Yes, we sure do,” she replied looking at the picture unable to contain a grin from drawing across her face. That day had been a dream come true, one of the happiest days of her life. 

How she wished she could go back in time and relive that day one more time. She must have stayed staring at the picture for longer than expected for when she looked up at Carol again, she had fallen asleep. Therese folded the picture once more and put it back in her wallet. Next, she bent over Carol’s sleeping face ever so careful not to wake her up. She held her breath as she placed a featherlight kiss on the blonde’s lips and whispered _ I love you_.

* * *

Therese woke up to the sound of voices coming from a TV. For a moment she wondered if she had made it home at some point but the unmistakable smell of disinfectant soon made it clear where she was. She opened her eyes and let out a yawn as she stretched her small frame on the equally small couch. 

“Good morning,” said Carol from across the room.

“Good morning,“ replied Therese as she sat up and rubbed her stiffed neck. “What time is it?”

“I-... I don’t even know what day it is,” she stated with a sorry look in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault,” she apologized. “It’s an old habit,” she added as she stood up and walked towards Carol’s bed. “How did you sleep?” she asked with a smile.

“Not bad but I can’t wait to sleep in my_ own _bed,” Carol confessed nonchalantly. 

Therese’s smile vanished from her face, and it was quickly replaced with an expression of sadness and disappointment. How could Therese expect things to go back to normal once Carol came back home? How could she expect Carol to want to sleep next to someone she barely knows?

“I didn’t mean to say that…” quickly added with a guilty look. 

“It’s fine,” replied Therese trying to brush off the hurt. She cleared her throat before she continued. “I was thinking that I could go back to the apartment and get you a fresh change of clothes and then pick up Rindy from school on the way back here?”

“Yes, I’d love that,” replied Carol with sparkling and joyful eyes. “Oh God, she must be so big now! How old is she?”

“She’s seven and a half.”

“My goodness!” she exclaimed taking her hand to her chest. “I always feel like I’m missing watching her grow,” she expressed with guilt, tears beginning to form around her eyes.

“Carol,” said Therese as she took the blonde’s hand in hers. “You haven’t missed a single day by her side for the past year. She’s been living with us.”

“What do you mean?” she asked with a concerned face.

“Around this time last year, Harge was sent to prison.” Therese could see shock starting to spread across Carol’s face.

“How? Why?” Carol demanded. 

“It’s a long story that I will tell you another time, but for now: he was arrested for stealing money and being involved in illegal business,” explained Therese trying to be as easy with her words as possible. She could sense Carol’s hand trembling before she removed it from under her touch and took it to her mouth. “Carol, are you OK?”

“I-... I don’t know what to say, or feel, or think…,” she voiced more to herself as she held her head.

“I know this is all too much to handle right now,” said Therese looking down at her hands, “And believe me, I wish there was a better way to tell you all the things you don’t remember without hurting you. There’s…”

“Good morning Mrs. Ross, how are we feeling today?” interrupted a nurse entering the room, leaving Therese with her words choking in her throat.

There was a brief silence before Carol answered shortly. 

“I’m going to take you away for a while to run some last tests.”

“Is everything alright?” asked Therese.

“Yes, yes. It’s just to make sure she’s more than ready to go home today,” the nurse said with a friendly smile. 

“Is it OK if I go now and get her things to pick her up later?” asked Therese looking at the nurse.

“Yes, don’t worry. We’ll take care of her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! Thank you so much for all the love on the last chapter. It made me feel very happy and motivated to write so here I am again, sooner than you expected? ;)
> 
> This chapter had me walking down memory lane for a bit, having to check on years and ages. Most of the time it feels like I've been writing this story for AGES.  
It's a shame that I can't write from Carol's POV, but I hope that I was able to portray her inner battle between her heart and mind. Should you trust your gut when you can't rely on your memory? What do you think? :)
> 
> Your comments really make a difference, so please keep them coming! :D


	16. Chapter 16

On the ride back to the hospital, Therese explained to Rindy what Carol's current health situation was like, focusing on what she knew about yet. Therese asked Rindy to do what any parent should never ask of a child. She asked Rindy to keep the truth about Harge’s death a secret until Therese found the right time to tell Carol. Therese had already experienced the shock and the consequences of such news the first time, so she knew she had to do better this second time and ensure as little damage as possible. Therefore, she had to be careful as to when and how to break the news to Carol.

Rindy seemed to be past the initial shock of having lost her father. The days that had followed the news, Rindy had been quieter than her usual self, limiting herself to speak only if she was spoken to. She seemed to be processing everything internally and that had worried Therese to a certain extent since she had never seen Rindy this way before, not even when Harge had been sent to prison. The few moments they shared during the day, Therese made sure to ask Rindy how she was feeling, and the girl’s reply would always be “OK”. But the news about Carol waking up seemed to have sparked something inside of Rindy, making her more present and excited. 

Before they entered the hospital room, Therese reminded Rindy to be gentle with Carol, not only physically, so to not jump over her, but also with regard to how Carol would react when she sees her. Therese told Rindy to wait outside while she made sure that Carol was ready to receive them. Rindy let out a small whimper in response. 

“Carol, we’re here,” announced Therese as she walked in the room, leaving the door half-closed. 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Carol sitting on the bed with her blonde, wavy hair loose, and no longer hiding underneath the bandage. Carol looked beautiful, despite the bruises and cuts still lingering around her face and her messy and dirty hair. In any other circumstance, Therese would have run to Carol’s side and would have placed a passionate kiss on her lips, but in this reality, Therese limited herself to uttering complimenting words instead. 

“You look good,” she continued with a smile, resting the bag with Carol’s clothes at the end of the bed. 

“Thank you,” replied Carol with a small smile. “I thought you’d bring Rindy with you,” she added with disappointment on her face.

“I did. She’s outside. I just wanted to check in with you first. Shall I call her in?”

“Yes, please,” begged Carol with water starting to form around her eyes.

Therese walked back to the door and opened it, letting Rindy walk in. The little girl gave a couple of shy steps looking down but once her hazel eyes fell on Carol, she made a run to the bed. Therese watched as Carol’s eyes grew bigger and bigger as she took in this bigger version of Rindy heading towards her like an avalanche. 

“Mom!” exclaimed Rindy as she wrapped her arms around Carol’s waist and buried her face in her mother’s chest.

Carol sat still, looking down at Rindy as tears began to make their way down her face. She opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water a couple of times unable to form any words. 

“Mom?” asked Rindy, after she detached herself from Carol and stared at her with confused eyes.

“I’m here, my sunshine,” finally whispered Carol as she caressed Rindy’s cheek with a trembling hand. “You’re… so big!” she said with a smile and what looked now like tears of joy. 

“I’m in second grade now,” she responded with a wide and proud smile.

“Oh God,” exclaimed Carol, taking a hand to her mouth after noticing the missing tooth on the bottom of Rindy’s mouth. “You’re missing a tooth.”

“She’s lost a few already,” interrupted Therese, approaching Rindy from behind and placing both hands on the girl’s shoulders. “I’m going to go talk with the doctor to get the final care plans and the prescriptions for your painkillers before we go. Shall I get the nurse to help you change?” offered Therese knowing that’s what Carol would prefer, and avoiding an exchange in front of Rindy by doing so.

“Yes, that would be great. Thank you,” replied Carol brushing away her tears. 

“C’mon Rindy, let’s give your mom some privacy,” she whispered into the girl’s ear before they made their way out of the room.

Back in Therese’s car, Carol sat in the back seat next to Rindy who didn’t wait to start telling Carol about all she had learned at school in the last two years with such excitement, as if it were the first time. Carol just looked at Rindy with love and pride painted all over her face, unable to take her eyes off her. They energetically talked through the entire ride home while Therese checked on them from time to time through the rearview mirror feeling as if she didn’t belong there; as if she was peeping at them from outside an invisible window. But seeing Carol this happy again since the accident was more than enough for Therese. She remembered the times when Carol had said how Rindy was her sunshine, and that statement never failed to be true. 

* * *

When the three of them arrived home, Rindy grabbed Carol’s hand and slowly walked her through the hall with Therese following closely behind. Carol stood in the middle of the living room, looking all around her, taking in her familiar but somewhat new surroundings.

“What is that?” asked Carol pointing at one corner of the room. “Is that a dog bed?”

“Yes, mom,” replied Rindy. “His name is Milan,” she added with a smile.

“Where is he?”

“He’s with a friend, Dannie,” replied Therese keeping her distance from Carol. “I thought it’d be best to let you settle comfortably first, and not have him jumping all over you.”

“I never thought I’d let a dog into this apartment,” added Carol in a low voice more to herself; but it was loud enough for Therese to hear it and she couldn’t help a slight smiling from crossing her face. 

“You’re going to love him, mom! I mean, you already did...,” voiced Rindy with a little confusion on her face.

“I’m sure I will,” said Carol caressing Rindy’s hair. “This place is missing a Christmas tree, don’t you think?” asked Carol to Rindy.

It was true. Time had passed by so fast while Carol had been at the hospital that Therese forgot about the fact that Christmas was only a few days away. Her head had been so clouded with worry these past weeks that she had had no time to think about any kind of celebration in fear something worse would happen. But now that Carol was finally safe at home, things started to look more hopeful. Thankfully, presents had been bought some weeks ago which was something less Therese would have to worry about; although the prospect of this Carol not liking what she had gotten her and Rindy already made her feel nervous.

“We could go get a tree tomorrow if that’s fine with you of course,” continued Carol staring at Therese.

“Uhm yes, of course,” Therese replied as she smiled back at Carol and Rindy. “I’m going to put these clothes in the washing machine,” continued Therese, holding Carol’s bag containing the clothes she had worn at the time of the accident. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m dying for a shower. I can do it myself.”

“Are you sure? It’s no pro-...”

“Yes,” cut Carol. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” she finished with a slim smile.

Therese nodded in response and walked away quickly to hide the hurt and frustration manifesting on her face. She wished Carol would stop pushing her away every time she tried to help her. She wished Carol would just trust her and let her be there, if not as her wife, as someone who deeply cares for her and only wishes to do anything to ease her pain and discomfort. 

Therese finished loading the dirty clothes into the washing machine and headed to the bedroom with the basket of clean laundry to put away. As she was in the middle of folding some clothes, she heard a scream from the bathroom. She quickly got up and walked to the door.

“Carol?” she asked as she knocked on the door. There was no response and instead, she heard a whimper coming from the other side. “Carol, I’m coming in,” she announced before opening the door. 

Carol was sitting on the toilet seat, bent over her left arm that was now freed from its sling. Carol had managed to take off her shoes and jogging pants but she still had her top clothes on. 

“What happened? Are you OK?” asked Therese bending next to Carol but keeping herself from touching her.

“I can’t…,” said Carol shaking her head in frustration. “I can’t do anything by myself. Not even undress.”

“Carol, you have a broken clavicle. The doctor said that you have to be careful with your moves or it might get worse. Please, Carol, let me help you,” she begged.

Carol raised her head and looked at Therese with a questioning look and teary eyes. Her body language was that of a scared and vulnerable animal unsure whether to trust the human in front of them or not.

“I promise I won’t look,” added Therese with a shy smile as she held out a hand for Carol to take.

“Alright,” replied Carol, and took Therese’s hand with her good hand.

Therese helped her stand up. She grabbed Carol’s right arm and began to carefully pull from the sleeve of the sweatshirt until her arm slid free from it. Next, she continued pulling the neck of the sweatshirt from over her head so delicately, so as not to pull from the left arm too roughly. After that, she slid off the left sleeve from Carol’s bent arm. Therese repeated the same movements with the T-shirt Carol wore underneath until she was left in just her underwear. Therese watched as Carol took a few steps towards the mirror by the sink and stood there looking at her image in the mirror. There were some bruises on her side that were already starting to fade away but it wasn’t that which Carol was observing. With her left hand still bent over her chest, she slid her right hand over the curves that had begun to adorn her body not long ago. She turned to her side and continued to stare at the new outline that her body drew as if it were the first time. Therese took a few steps and joined Carol in front of the mirror, keeping a prudent distance and her hands to her sides. 

“I never looked like this,” whispered Carol, with her eyes still on herself. “Harge would not allow me to stay out of shape. He always expected me to be the perfect wife with the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes… and that’s what I thought I had to be,” said Carol with a trembling voice.

“But you didn’t have to be any of that because you were already perfect for me,” replied Therese looking at Carol through the mirror. She waited until blue eyes found their way to green ones and locked before she continued. “I’ll never get tired of telling you how beautiful you are just the way you are. All of you.”

Carol held Therese’s look as her opened mouth failed to utter a sound. Therese noticed as a chill ran through Carol’s body making it slightly shake.

“I’ll get the bathtub ready,” said Therese before she turned around and walked away, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Therese sat on the edge and let the water begin to fill in the bathtub. She added a lavender bath bomb that soon filled the water with bubbles and the air with its soothing aroma. She took a deep breath to catch her breath once again. Had she gone too far with what she had just said to Carol? Had she stepped over some invisible line that she wasn’t aware of? What was the right way to behave around Carol anymore? Her train of thought was interrupted by Carol standing right behind her. She turned around and the mere proximity of Carol already threatened Therese to lose her balance. She managed to stand up and waited for Carol to make the next move.

“Would you help me… with the back?” asked Carol, turning her back to Therese as she struggled with the back of her bra.

Therese closed both hands into a fist in the hope to make them less shaky before she unhooked Carol’s bra. She slid the straps down her arms and let Carol do the rest. Therese turned her head down and fixed her eyes on the tip of her shoes. She watched as Carol’s black panties came into sight on the floor and she held in a breath. Without looking up, she outstretched her hand for Carol to hold on to and she carefully helped her inside the bathtub. Only when Carol was fully seated, with her naked back towards Therese did she look up once again. She grabbed the plastic pitcher they kept under the sink, the same one Carol had used on her that time to wash her hair. Back on her knees, Therese filled the pitcher with water from the tub and let the warm liquid cascade down Carol’s hair. Therese watched as the water traveled down her milky white, pale back. Therese thought about the many times she had kissed and touched that same skin that was only inches away from her and at the same time miles away from her touch. She repeated the same ministrations on Carol’s hair while she cleaned her body, with both of them in complete silence, as if any sound would suddenly scare this wild animal away. She scrubbed Carol’s head making sure not to miss a single spot. 

“Ready?” asked Therese as she stood up holding a spread towel in front of her to block the naked view of Carol as she stood up. Carol wrapped the towel around her and held it tight in the front with her good hand as Therese held her from her arm and helped her step out of the bathtub. Therese grabbed a smaller towel and started to dry Carol’s wet hair. They stepped into the bedroom and Therese quickly began to look for a pair of fresh underwear and flannel pajamas for Carol to wear. Carol sat on the bed, following Therese’s moves with some kind of amazement, and gratitude perhaps?

“I’m going to check on Rindy,” she said leaving the clothes by the end of the bed. She knew Carol would be able to dress by herself given that the top of the pajamas was buttoned up and easy to put on. 

“Thank you,” expressed Carol with a warm tone and look on her face.

“My pleasure,” replied Therese, with a dimpled smile before she left the room. 

* * *

When Carol returned to the living with a robe and arm sling on, she found Rindy and Therese by the couch looking at what seemed to be a menu. 

“Oh hey,” said Therese when she noticed Carol. “I was thinking we could order pizza.”

“Sounds good,” answered Carol approaching the side of the couch where Rindy was sitting and sat down next to her.

“I haven’t been able to go grocery shopping. We could go tomorrow after we get that Christmas tree… if you feel like it of course,” she added quickly to not make Carol feel pressured to go.

Carol limited herself to giving Therese a side smile and look in response before she scooted closer to Rindy and looked at the menu the girl was looking at.

“What are you going to pick? Extra cheese?” asked Carol.

“I was thinking… extra cheese with pineapple on top!”

“Pineapple? Oh my, you’re not my daughter,” Carol joked, faking disappointment.

“Mommy likes it,” replied Rindy bending backwards and letting her back rest against Therese’s side. A gesture of compliance.

“She does, huh?” said Carol, looking at Therese with an inquisitive look, as if she was trying to get more out of that statement.

Therese suddenly felt a wave of heat hitting her out of nowhere. She placed a kiss on Rindy’s head as a way to buy some time to cool down before she spoke again.

“Classic pepperoni for you?” she asked looking back at Carol once more.

“I guess some things don’t change,” replied Carol, leaving Therese with a sense of mixed feelings. 

After they finished eating dinner, Carol insisted on helping to put the dishes away while Rindy and Therese remained seated at the table. The little girl was already showing signs of falling asleep. It had been quite an eventful day, and this was just the beginning. Therese longed to go to bed and fall asleep curled up next to Carol as she used to. All these lonely nights with Carol at the hospital had only deepened that feeling of emptiness and loneliness inside Therese. But after that comment Carol had made at the hospital, Therese knew that was no longer a possibility. She would never put Carol in an uncomfortable situation.

“Come here,” Therese told Rindy who was sitting opposite her on the table. 

Rindy did as she was told and made her way to Therese and stood in front of her. 

“How are you feeling? I know this is all a bit too much,” said Therese, running her fingers through Rindy’s hair.

“It’s OK. I’m happy that mom is back home.”

“Me too. But we still have to take care of her. You’re a strong girl. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” said Rindy before she gave Therese a tight hug.

At that moment, Carol stepped back into the room. Therese looked as Carol stood there watching their embrace with what seemed to Therese to be a look of jealousy? 

“Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed,” Therese told Rindy as she broke the hug.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” Carol asked Rindy as she approached the girl and placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“The three of us?” asked Rindy with renewed excitement despite her tiredness. 

“O- of course...” uttered Carol with a hint of hesitation in her voice.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” interrupted Therese as she stood up. “Your mom needs extra space... for her arm,” explained Therese looking straight at Carol after just having removed herself from the equation. 

She could notice a sense of relief coming from Carol, based on her body language, but there was something else behind those blue eyes that Therese couldn’t read. All Therese could feel was the thread that once held them so close together slowly outstretching, pulling them further apart in an abyss of uncertainty. 

  
  


[ _ Liebe wird aus Mut gemacht, _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMHLkcc9I9c)

[ _ denk nicht lange nach, _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMHLkcc9I9c)

[ _ wir fahr’n auf Feuerrädern _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMHLkcc9I9c)

[ _ Richtung Zukunft durch die Nacht. _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMHLkcc9I9c)

_ Love is made out of courage _

_ Don't think about it for too long-  _

_ We drive on fire wheels _

_ Towards the future through the night. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me posting another week in a row, who dis? Hahaha! I'm really enjoying this part of the story and I think it shows! I hope you're enjoying it as much as I do. 
> 
> Thank you so much, Pearl and Sarah Joy for your feedback and ideas for what should happen next. Reading your thoughts does help me so much; I wish this kind of brainstorming would happen every time :) Let me know ladies if it fulfilled your wishes, hehe! There's more to come, so this ain't over yet :o
> 
> A big thank you to my sis/editor Beate for listening and criticizing my ideas beforehand, and to Ansi for beta reading.   
And thank you, readers, for continuing to support this story; for telling me how much you love it. 
> 
> Song: "Irgendwie, Irgendwo, Irgendwann" by Nena (I've been obsessed with the German show Dark so I felt this song fit perfectly.)


	17. Chapter 17

The following morning, Therese woke up before Carol and Rindy. The sun was already up in the sky illuminating the living room where she had spent the night. She stretched her back muscles and let out a loud yawn. Therese had sworn she’d never sleep on that couch ever again, but life always seemed to find ways to play jokes on you like this. She began to fold the big cozy blanket she had slept wrapped up in and then left it on top of the pillows by the end of the couch. She put on her plush robe and slippers and headed to the kitchen. 

Therese began to prepare breakfast with what she could find around the kitchen. She started the coffee machine and put four slices of bread inside the toaster. It didn’t take long for the air to begin to fill with that signature strong coffee smell. Therese found some eggs in the fridge but unfortunately, there was no trace of bacon. She made scrambled eggs that now sat on the stove while she continued with the rest of the breakfast. She was in the middle of slicing some apples and cutting them into cubes when she heard footsteps approaching from behind. 

“Good morning,” said a sleepy Rindy, rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning,” replied Therese, turning back to continue cutting the fruit. “How did you sleep?”

“Good. But mom…” Rindy made a pause and got closer to Therese who stopped what she was doing and turned her head to the side to give her full attention to the girl. “She kept moving around,” she said with a worried face.

“It must be her arm not letting her sleep comfortably,” explained Therese, trying to make Rindy feel better. 

“It’s not just that. She talked in her sleep. I couldn’t understand what she was saying. It was like she was having a nightmare,” said Rindy in a low voice. 

Therese let go of the knife and the apple on the counter before she wrapped her arms around Rindy tightly as a way to give her some comfort after what she had just confessed. She held the girl’s face in both hands before she spoke to her.

“Everything is going to be fine. There’s a lot going through your mom’s head right now and that’s probably why she can’t sleep well at night. But having you next to her makes her very happy. You’re her sunshine,” said Therese with a smile. “Is she still sleeping?”

“No,” interrupted Carol from the kitchen door looking at the other two. “Good morning,” she added, shifting her eyes to Therese. Carol let the softest side smile appear on her face for a split second but Therese was still able to catch it. 

“Good morning. Breakfast is almost ready,” said Therese turning around and resuming her task with cutting the apples. 

“Can I help?” asked Carol, stepping closer.

“Uhm, yes sure. Can you get the coffee?” answered Therese pointing with her head to the coffee machine that was still softly steaming after it had finished brewing the coffee beans. 

“No problem. How do you like it?” she asked, turning around and making her way to the coffee.

The question hit Therese like a punch in her chest. Before the accident changed everything, Carol would usually be the one who’d get up earlier and make breakfast for them; and sometimes she’d even bring Therese her cup of coffee to bed when she had more trouble getting up. They had learned everything about each other in all the time they had been together to the point there was no need to ask; Carol liked her coffee black with no sugar whereas Therese liked it with a small amount of milk and two sugars. And the same went for their thoughts and feelings; just one look was enough to know what the other one needed without needing to speak. But that synchronicity between them was gone now. 

Therese lost control of the hand holding the knife and the unmistakable feel of sharp pain brought her back to present. She let out an  _ Ouch! _ Before she took a close look at her index finger. There was a cut across the side of her finger and she watched as blood oozed out of the wound profusely making her feel suddenly dizzy at the sight of it. 

“Mommy, you’re hurt!” exclaimed Rindy.

“It’s fine…” breathed Therese as she tried to recover her balance by holding herself onto the kitchen counter with her other hand. But ruby droplets continued to fall on the cutting board like raining blood.

“Here...,” said Carol suddenly, wrapping a cloth around Therese’s finger with her good hand. “Hold it,” she instructed Therese who did as she was told while holding her injured hand up. Next, Carol held Therese tightly by the waist. “Let’s go to the sink to wash it. Rindy, go get some band-aids.”

Rindy quickly left the room leaving Carol and Therese alone in the kitchen. The pressure of Carol’s hand on her waist and the proximity to her made Therese almost lose her balance again. She wondered if Carol did notice where her hand was and if she would soon regret it and take it away, but she didn’t. She walked Therese to the sink, only removing her hand to turn on the sink water. While Carol adjusted the pressure and the temperature of the water to warm, Therese removed the cloth off her hand which already had a bloodstain where it had become in contact with the cut which seemed to be deep based on the amount still oozing from it.

“Let me…,” said Carol gently grabbing Therese by the wrist. 

Therese felt a tingling sensation underneath Carol’s grip that she attributed to the loss of blood and dizziness she was experiencing. Carol slowly approached Therese’s index finger to the running water. Therese let out another cry the second the cut came in contact with the warm water.

“Is it too hot?” asked Carol, removing the finger just in case.

“No. It’s just… it’s OK,” she told Carol who returned the finger to the water. 

“Keep it there,” said Carol, releasing her grip to grab some soap. “I’m going to be gentle, I promise,” said Carol with a smile.

“OK,” breathed Therese looking back at her finger to escape from the closeness of those lips and stare.

With soaped fingers, Carol began to carefully rub the cut to get as much soap inside the cut and clean off any possible infection. Therese closed her eyes to let her senses focus on the feeling of Carol’s touch and reminisce over the many times Carol had held her this closely. The moment was over too soon for Therese’s good. She opened her eyes at the feeling of Carol pressuring around the cut to encourage the last droplets of blood to ooze out. 

“I found them!” announced Rindy, running back to the kitchen holding a box of band-aids in her hand. 

“Right on time. Let’s dry it first,” said Carol, turning off the tap. She grabbed some paper towels and gently tapped on Therese’s finger.

“Rindy, would you give me a hand with the band-aid?” Carol asked Rindy who quickly began to unwrap one.

Therese couldn’t keep herself from giggling at Carol’s comment.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she answered, trying to straighten up her face. Carol’s face told her she wouldn’t take that as an answer. “You asked Rindy to give you  _ a hand,  _ and you... I’m sorry, it was silly,” she said as her cheeks started to turn red.

Carol looked at her with a slightly amused face before she let a cheeky smile appear on her face.

“Very funny. At least some color returned to your face. Are you ready, Rindy?”

“Yes!” replied the little girl who began to peel off one side of the band-aid and delicately wrapped it around Therese’s finger.

“Well done,” Carol told Rindy when she was done. “I think she’s going to make it,” she joked, turning her head to Therese.

“Thank you for taking care of it,” she said before looking down at her feet. “I- I don’t know why I got so weak. I’m sorry,” apologized Therese feeling sorry for not having been able to take care of her wound by herself.

“Don’t apologize,” placing her hand on Therese’s arm and squeezing it lightly. “I’m glad that I haven’t forgotten how to take care of cut fingers,” she added with a soft smile. 

* * *

After they finished breakfast, they got ready to leave. They decided to hit the grocery store first and leave the Christmas tree for last. Despite there only being three days until Christmas, they were still able to find a pretty decent tree at a farm nearby. Rindy was the one in charge of picking it and she went for a beautiful [Fraser Fir tree](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0181/9959/products/Frazer_fir_8a436344-ad6c-4bcf-867a-3960b8b230fe.jpg?v=1575931569) with dark green needles and a strong pine scent. The salesman wrapped the tree in a net and helped Therese get it safely on top of her car. 

Once they got back home, the three of them helped carry the shopping bags. Therese naturally gave the lightest ones to Rindy and Carol while she carried the heavy ones in both hands. Therese made a second trip to the car followed by Rindy and together they got down the tree from the roof and together they carried it back to the apartment which was immediately filled with that fresh pine scent once they set the tree branches free. 

“Where are the boxes with the decorations?” asked Carol. “I used to keep them in the guest room but now it’s…”

“They are still there somewhere between my mess. I’ll help you find them,” said Therese walking towards her darkroom.

“These are really good,” said Carol a moment later as she went through a stack of old pictures of Therese that laid on a shelf. They were shots that Therese had discarded as not good enough so she kept them apart from the good ones.

She was looking at them with that keen eye only someone as professional as Carol would, making Therese feel like she was a student once again. She had always felt so special whenever Carol had studied and praised one of her photographs; and even after all these years they’ve been together, Carol continued to be her greatest supporter. 

“Thank you,” replied Therese as she went through a bunch of boxes they had stored underneath her working table. “I learned a lot back at the school. It helped me discover who I was and how I wanted to portray the world around me,” said Therese, staring at Carol for a brief moment before she continued with her search. She wanted to tell Carol how she had been her muse, the reason why she wanted to push herself to be better, and how much she had influenced her. 

“I’m happy to hear that. Did you make this room?” asked Carol looking around. 

“Actually, we both did. It was a birthday present,” Therese answered, looking at her nervously. Carol remained silent, her face motionless. The idea that this Carol could hate what her old guest room had become and wanted to change it back, or disliked the idea that it belonged to her now, crossed Therese’s mind. The silence that followed only made Therese more anxious so she turned her head back to the floor. 

“Found them!” she exclaimed after what had seemed an uncomfortable eternity. She put the boxes containing the Christmas decorations one on top of each other and quickly carried them out of the room without looking back at Carol. 

She placed them on the floor next to the tree where Rindy had been waiting. 

“I’m going to go make lunch. Can you both handle it on your own?,” asked Therese, looking at Rindy, fully ignoring Carol who was standing behind her. 

Rindy smiled and nodded in response. Therese turned around without waiting for Carol’s response. 

Back in the safety of the kitchen, Therese began to gather the ingredients for a spinach soup. She had been trying to get as close as possible to the one they had both tried at one of their dinner dates and which Carol had fallen in love with. Therese enjoyed cooking as much as she enjoyed taking pictures, and perhaps a little more. Nothing made her happier than to see Carol and Rindy devouring her dishes with gusto.

Around half an hour later, Therese was almost finished with the soup. She was by the stove stirring the cream when Carol entered the room. 

“Have you finished already?” asked Therese, taking a brief look at Carol to then return her attention to the cream soup.

“Yes. Rindy’s giving it the final touches,” she said as she approached Therese’s side. “I thought I’d check if you needed  _ an extra hand _ ,” joked Carol with a playful smile.

“I’m good. Thanks,” replied Therese in a cold tone, without paying attention to Carol’s mood shift.

“By the way… I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable earlier,” she apologized with a serious face. 

“It’s OK,” replied Therese with her eyes glued to the green swirling liquid in front of her hiding away her discomfort. 

“It’s just that there’s a lot to take in. So much has changed and yet everything feels the same at the same time. I-... I don’t know how to respond to  _ all this _ …” she trailed off.

Therese turned off the stove and left the wooden spoon on the counter before she turned around to look at Carol who had her head cast down. She placed her fingers under Carol’s chin and pushed her head back up to make her look at her. Carol’s eyes were clouded with tears making Therese feel guilty for the way she overreacted before with Carol in the darkroom.

“I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have behaved like that,” she said taking a few steps away from Carol and resting her back against the opposite counter. “I bet you didn’t expect to be married again to someone new and have to share your space with a stranger you barely know…”

“Stop,” interrupted Carol with a firm voice. “Yes, I didn’t anticipate  _ you  _ or any of this to happen and I’m not going to lie. It was a shock when you told me who you were and I couldn’t remember anything. But you’re not a stranger to Rindy. I’ve seen how much she loves you and trusts you.”

“You can trust me, Carol. None of this has been easy for me either,” she said, wrapping her arms around her waist as she looked down, conflicted by her own feelings. “But I’m here,” she said, holding back her tears.

“I know…,” whispered Carol mirroring the same anguish. She stepped closer to Therese and squeezed Therese’s forearm softly as a sign of understanding.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Carol and Rindy relaxed on the couch watching a movie while Therese sat on the floor with her laptop and finished some pended work she had to send before the holidays. They had watched that movie a couple of times during the past year but seeing Carol react to it as if it were the first time made Therese smile. Not everything was bad she thought to herself. Once the movie ended, Carol rushed Rindy to take a bath. Therese closed her laptop and got up and stretched her sore limbs from the prolonged contact with the hard floor. She collapsed on the softness of the couch and let out a yawn when Carol walked back to the living room.

“She said she’s big enough to take a bath on her own,” murmured Carol as she sat next to Therese. “I keep thinking she’s still a little girl and she needs me,” she sighed in defeat.

“And she still does. She also worries about you,” confessed Therese.

“What do you mean?” asked Carol with frowned eyebrows.

“She told me you didn’t sleep well last night. You kept moving and talking in your sleep.”

“Oh God,” gasped Carol with a surprised face as she sat up straight. “What did I say?”

“She couldn’t understand what you were saying. What happened?” Therese bent a leg underneath her and turned to the side to face Carol. “Did you remember something?” she added, staring at Carol with concern in her face.

“I had this dream,” began Carol, squinting her eyes as she looked outside the window. “I was running through a forest in the middle of the night. It was pitch black so I could barely see anything in front or around me. There was something -I don’t know what- chasing after me, I could feel it getting closer and closer. I kept running in the dark without knowing w- where I was go- going…” she stammered as she seemed to be relieving the dream.

“It’s OK,” she assured Carol, placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her. 

“I wanted to scream for help but no sound would come out of my mouth. It was like I had something else besides my breath trapped inside my throat choking me. A feeling of guilt or remorse that wouldn’t set me free.” Carol continued to stare into the darkness outside for a few seconds before she turned her eyes to Therese and looked at her.

“What?” asked Therese, feeling vulnerable under Carol’s intense gaze.

“Then I heard this beautiful and angelic voice singing in a language that I couldn’t understand. So I kept running towards it and it led me into the light. Was it you?”

“I- I don’t understand,” replied Therese nervously shifting in her seat.

“The one singing at the hospital. Did I dream about it or did it really happen?”

“I…,” Therese breathed as she stared into those blue eyes and felt her cheeks becoming red. “I’d sing this song to you while you were still unconscious. The doctor had said that it would help you wake up. It was this Czech song my mother used to sing to me when I was small whenever I felt sad or scared. I didn’t think you’d hear it,” she confessed shyly. She could feel her cheeks burning up. She had never sung in front of Carol before because she felt too insecure about it. 

“I’m glad I did,” whispered Carol as her eyes began to fill in with tears. 

She raised her hand towards Therese’s face. She softly traced her fingers through the outline of Therese’s face and down through her jaw as if she were drawing an invisible map of her features and appealing to her touch, to reveal to her who the young woman in front of her truly was. Next, she held Therese’s face with her palm while her thumb continued to outline her parted lips. Therese let out a shaky breath as Carol’s thumb gently slid across her lower lip, her blue eyes closely following. She breathed in again as she closed her eyes and let herself surrender not only to Carol’s will but also to her disarming touch. After all, she would always be hers.

Fortunately, Carol didn’t take long to make her next move. With eyes still closed, Therese could feel Carol’s warm breath just inches apart from hers. She took one last breath before she held it, her heart racing in anticipation of what was about to happen.

“MOOOOOOM!” yelled Rindy suddenly from the other room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Sorry for the little delay but this week has been very busy at work!
> 
> Anyway, this isn't one of my favorite chapters I've written but it could be worse? Hehe. I had planned to write about Christmas Eve but that first part with Therese cutting her finger took me by surprise and well... things changed. I hope you enjoyed these intimate moments between Carol and Therese adjusting to their "new normal". 
> 
> This chapter ended up being a transition for what's coming next... And that last part... don't hate Rindy! :D
> 
> Thank you Ansi for beta reading!  
And thank you all so much for your lovely comments on the last chapter. They always make me smile! Stay safe <3


	18. Chapter 18

The following morning neither of both women addressed the situation that had transpired between them the previous night when Carol had attempted to kiss Therese. Therese couldn’t stop thinking if it hadn’t been for Rindy’s interruption, would Carol still have kissed her or would she have backed down in the last second? Those questions had kept Therese up for most of the night alone on the couch. Although Carol tried to act as if nothing had happened that morning, her attitude seemed to be a bit off. The few times Carol made it out of her room she had avoided looking straight at Therese, and only limited herself to stealing brief looks. It seemed as if all of a sudden Carol was shy to be around Therese.

* * *

Now it was the next day, Christmas Eve, and Therese was waiting for Dannie to drop off Milan since he’d be spending the next two weeks at his parents for the holidays. Rindy was beyond excited to have her dog back with them but Therese feared for Carol’s reaction when she met him. She felt she could no longer anticipate the way Carol would respond anymore and that made her feel uneasy. 

There was a ring announcing Dannie’s arrival and Therese got up to get the door.

“Hey there, Terry!” greeted Dannie in his characteristic cheerful voice as always, followed by a bark from Milan. 

“Hi! Thank you so much for dropping him by,” said Therese, taking Milan’s leash as she bent down to pet him. “Do you want to come in or do you have to leave already?”

“I have a few minutes,” he replied with a smile as he stepped inside the apartment. Therese closed the door and followed him to the living room with Milan next to her still on his leash. “Where’s my favorite girl?” greeted Dannie. 

“Dannie!” exclaimed Rindy and quickly got up to greet him with a hug.

Carol who had been sitting next to Rindy also got up but didn’t move from where she stood. 

“Carol, this is Dannie,” introduced Therese. She couldn’t help feeling slightly awkward for having to reintroduce his best friend to her. 

“Hi, Carol,” said Dannie as he stepped towards her with an extended hand.

“Hi. Nice to meet you,” replied Carol warmly shaking his hand. “And that’s Milan I assume,” she added looking at the dog already on Rindy’s arms.

“Can we release him, mommy?” Rindy asked Therese from the floor.

“I’m not sure ab-…”

“It’s fine,” interrupted Carol, looking at Therese. “Set him free.”

Rindy quickly released Milan from his leash with a _ click _. He began to sniff around as dogs always do before he made notice of Carol’s presence a few feet away and made a run towards her. Next, he got up on his back legs, resting his front paws on Carol’s shins with his tail wagging up in the air with excitement. Carol was cautious when she outstretched her hand to touch his head with her fingers ever so lightly as if she were scared of being bitten. The dog looked at Carol with a wide-opened mouth mirroring his wide-open smile as he waited for Carol to bend down and pet him like she usually would, but when that didn’t happen, he let out a bark which startled Carol.

“It’s OK mom, you can pet him,” said Rindy coming closer. “He loves it when you scratch behind his ears.”

Carol smiled at Rindy before she bent over with more confidence and did as her daughter instructed her. “You like that don’t you,” she muttered as she watched Milan enjoy her touch. 

“I should get going,” announced Dannie awkwardly, after a pause. “Merry Christmas, Carol. I’m glad to see you well.”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too.”

“Bye, Rindy. Hope Santa will be good tomorrow,” he added with a wink.

Therese walked him to the door but instead of saying goodbye from there, she closed the door behind her. Her face said it all. 

“That was…,” said Dannie with a mix of confusion and surprise.

“I know,” she sighed as she looked down at her feet.

“But hey! Don’t feel bad” said Dannie, grabbing her by her shoulder and shaking her softly to make her look at him again before he continued. “She’s still here with you and that’s what matters. This is just temporary. The Carol we all know is still there somewhere. Just give her time.” He smiled at her.

“You’re right. She’s alive and well and that should be enough reason to be happy but… I just miss her. I miss how things were before,” Therese whispered with tears filling her eyes. 

“Everything’s going to be OK. You’re strong, Terry. You’re one of the bravest people I know. Don’t forget it.” He wrapped Therese in a warm tight embrace. 

Therese closed her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. She immediately broke out in tears, her sobs barely audible. She let all of the build up emotions she had been keeping at bay for the past days finally drain out of her system. Dannie noticed her state so he held her even closer and placed a kiss on her head. She hadn't realized until now how much she needed to be held and told that everything would be fine. Dannie had always known how to make her feel loved and supported just like family; and that’s exactly what she needed in that moment. They stayed like that for a short moment but it was enough to make Therese feel a bit more relieved. She took a deep breath before she stood back straight. 

“Thank you. I really needed that,” she said with a smile despite her reddened eyes and nose. 

“I love you. You’re my sister.”

“I love you, too. Now go! I don’t want to make you late.”

“Oh! Before I go. I need a favor.”

“Shoot.”

“Can you look after my plants while I’m gone these two weeks?”

“Of course. How often do they need to be watered?”

“Twice a week should be fine,” he instructed as he handed Therese the keys to his apartment. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let another plant perish under my watch. Thank you!”

“I owed you. Merry Christmas. And give my love to your parents for me.”

“I will. Merry Christmas, Terry.”

Therese watched him as he waved goodbye and disappeared from her sight. She cleaned her tears as best as she could before she walked into the apartment again. As she closed and locked the door she could hear Rindy’s cheerful voice telling Carol about how they had gotten Milan. Therese stood still at the hall and just listened for a second as the memory of that day filled her with happiness. She then resumed her walk towards them. 

Carol and Rindy were now sitting on the couch with Milan between them. The dog had his head resting on Carol’s lap and had his eyes closed. Therese couldn’t help but smile at the sight of this.

“And who picked the name? Was it you?” asked Carol as she softly scratched one of Milan’s ears while she looked down at him.

“No. Mommy did,” Rindy replied looking at Therese.

“Is everything OK?” asked Carol with concern as she looked at Therese’s reddened face that revealed the fact that she had been crying. 

“Yes, everything’s OK. I see you two are bonding,” she observed with a smile.

“What can I say. He’s too irresistible,” Carol added coyly as she played with the dog’s ear without taking her eyes off Therese. 

The idea of replying to Carol crossed Therese’s head for a second but she finally opted to stay silent and smile in response. 

* * *

Later that evening, Therese made it out of the shower and quickly dried herself before she stepped into the bedroom. Carol had left her the room to change comfortably while she and Rindy set the table. Therese looked at her clothing options for a few seconds unsure of what to wear. She wanted to look a bit nicer for dinner but without overdoing it or looking out of place. It was just the three of them after all but still, she wanted to look her best. She finally picked a simple [grey colored dress](https://bec2df9eb90bb6604cfc-660d71a7a33bc04488a7427f5fddcedf.ssl.cf3.rackcdn.com/uploads/product_image/photo/5c5473359736d408d4eef25d/large_m404-grey-1.jpg) with black stockings to go underneath it and her favorite low boots. She added the smallest amount of mascara and a pink lipstick which she dabbed on her lips as well as on her cheeks to add a natural blush. She decided to keep her hair down and pinned one side to the back. She gave herself one last smile through the mirror and with that confidence she headed to the dining room. There she found Rindy by herself finishing the table. 

“Mommy, you look pretty,” said Rindy when she saw Therese walk in. She was putting the last fork on the table. 

“Thank you, Rin,” she replied as she bent over the back of a chair. “The table looks very nice.”

They had put on a red tablecloth with Christmas designs on it together with matching napkins. They also had put out the more fancy plates and glasses reserved for special occasions like this. 

“I found the can-...” suddenly interrupted Carol from behind them. 

Therese turned around and found Carol standing completely frozen with a candle holder in her hand. She gave Therese a quick look from head to toes which gave Therese a shiver down her spine. She hoped that the fake blush would conceal the natural blush she knew was starting to show on her cheeks.

“You look lovely,” muttered Carol as she passed by Therese to put the candle holder in the center of the table. The blonde stole one more look now from a distance. “Shall we eat?”

Therese was thankful to be the one serving dinner for she could excuse herself for a moment. She had cooked a [chicken Stroganoff](https://cafedelites.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Chicken-Stroganoff-IMAGE-26.jpg) as per Rindy’s request since it was one of her favorite dishes. She paired the dish with wine for her and Carol to enjoy. 

“This is absolutely delicious,” uttered Carol with her mouth still full. She was sitting across from Therese with Rindy to her side. 

“Thanks. I tried my best for Rindy.”

“Seriously, this is the best Stroganoff that I’ve had. I could never do this, I’m such a terrible cook,” said Carol whipping her mouth.

“You’re not terrible,” told her Therese. 

“Did I tell you of the time I burnt a whole chicken? And filled up the kitchen with smoke and the fire alarm went off?” asked Carol, finishing the rest of her glass of wine in one gulp.

“Yes, you did. Still, I wouldn’t give up your blueberry pancakes for anything. Don’t you agree, Rin?”

“Yes. Mom makes the best pancakes!”

Carol grinned at the mention of this, illuminating the room. Therese could notice how relaxed and cheerful Carol looked after a few sips of alcohol that had filled her with bubbly joy. Therese followed Carol and finished her glass before she proceeded to fill them a second time; and before she knew it, Carol had drunk the last drops in the bottle. They were so full by the time they finished eating that they just had a couple of [sugar cookies](https://i2.wp.com/www.sugarspunrun.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Sugar-Cookie-Recipe-1-of-1.jpg) Rindy and Therese had baked the day before. Therese offered to help Rindy change and go to bed while Carol cleared the table. Therese wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to leave Carol alone to do the task in her tipsy state but she also had to leave room for Carol to feel useful again.

By the time Therese finished putting Rindy to sleep, she found Carol waiting for her on the couch with what seemed to be a glass of bourbon in her hand. She had one leg crossed underneath her, her body turned to the side and her good arm resting on the back of the couch. If it wasn’t for the arm sling, Therese would have believed that it was her Carol sitting in front of her by the way she was looking back at her. There was not a sign of doubt or insecurity in her eyes; she looked at peace.

Therese joined her on the couch keeping a relative distance between them. She could feel the same nervousness she had experienced two nights before begin to build up inside of her. Carol smiled at her before she took one last gulp of her glass and left it on the coffee table.

“So… tell me more about us,” began Carol resting her head on her hand. Her hooded eyelids and grin a clear sign that she was drunk.

“What do you want to know?” asked Therese following her request.

“How did we meet.”

“I told you already, at school.”

“Yes, but _ how _…” she said, dragging her words. “I want to know exactly how it happened…” 

“Actually, we didn’t meet at school. The first time we saw each other was on a bus.”

“A bus?” questioned Carol with a surprised tone.

“Yes. Later you told me that your car had broken down and that’s why you were on that bus that night. I had just experienced my very first Broadway show and I was feeling like I was on cloud nine when I saw you sitting a couple of seats in front of me. I thought I was daydreaming.”

“Why? What happened?” she asked, her eyes barely opened. 

“You looked like you belonged in a movie from the 50’s, not on that bus with me. I was mesmerized by the way you looked at me. I had never experienced those... _ feelings _for anyone before. Then you got off the bus leaving your gloves behind. I thought I’d never see you again so I took them.”

“So what happened next?”

“A few weeks later school began and I had lost all hope to see you again by then… and suddenly there you were. Your picture at the school board. I just couldn’t believe my luck. The chance to find you in a ci-...” Therese stopped talking when she realized Carol’s eyes were fully shut. She took a moment to look at her, the way her hair fell on one side of her face making her look more beautiful if that was even possible. 

“Carol,” she whispered as she shook her softly. 

“Yes, I’m here,” replied Carol attempting to regain consciousness. 

“Let’s get you to bed. C’mon,” said Therese as she stood up. She held out a hand that Carol took in hers to help herself up. 

Once they made it to the bedroom, Therese helped Carol take her sling off as well as her shoes, pants and sweatshirt, leaving her in her undies and a long-sleeved shirt. Therese pulled the duvet cover aside to let Carol slide onto the bed. Therese pulled the duvet back to cover Carol and just when she was about to step back, Carol caught her hand.

“Sleep with me,” she murmured in her drunk-sleepy state.

“I- I don’t think so,” stammered Therese caught by surprise. 

“Why not?” she questioned with a pouty mouth.

“Carol, you’re drunk. I can’t. Not like this,” stated Therese removing her hand from Carol’s grip. “Now go to sleep. I’m going to put the presents under the tree for Rindy. Goodnight, Carol,” and with that Therese turned around and walked away feeling heavy-hearted. 

* * *

As expected, Rindy was the first one to wake up on Christmas morning. The little girl woke up Therese first given the proximity and then went for Carol. The three of them gathered around the Christmas tree to witness what Santa had left behind. A moment later, Rindy was already on the floor opening the presents one by one, her face painted with pure happiness and joy after seeing she had gotten everything she had wanted. 

“Santa did a pretty good job this year,” pointed out Carol as she began to collect the wrapping paper scattered around the floor.

“Mom…” said Rindy, her expression changing to a serious one.

“What’s wrong?”

“I know the truth.”

“What do you mean, Rin?” asked Therese although she knew what the girl meant.

“About Santa. I know it’s both of you,” her confession took both women by surprise.

“How did you find out?” asked Carol with disappointment reflecting on her face.

“I found my letter to Santa in your purse when you asked me to get your phone,” she explained shyly. “And then I discovered where you kept the presents.”

Both women looked at each other with wide-open eyes and mouths. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” asked Therese after a pause as she got down on her knees next to Rindy and wrapped an arm around the little girl.

“Because I was afraid you’d take the presents away?” 

“We would never do such a thing!” uttered Carol with a sense of relief. She bent down on one knee to place a kiss on top of Rindy’s head before she stood up again. “Now let’s finish cleaning up all this mess.”

They were in the middle of tidying up the boxes and papers when Carol broke the silence with an expected question.

“Rindy, I was thinking… would you like to call your father since it’s Christmas? It’s OK if you don’t want to… what?” she asked when she saw the conflicted look on Rindy’s face. 

Rindy looked at Therese with shock, unable to utter a word in response.

“What’s happening?” exclaimed Carol, exasperated, seeing that neither Rindy nor Therese seemed to be willing to explain.

Therese took a deep breath already feeling her world begin to shatter. She gave Rindy a squeeze before she stood up again.

“Take a seat,” said Therese pointing to the couch.

“Why? What’s happening?”

“Please Carol…”

“No. Whatever you must tell me, say it now!” Carol spat as she raised her voice slightly, no longer able to contain her nerves.

“I was hoping to tell you this another time, not now, not today…,” she regretted.

“Speak out, Therese!”

“Harge…,” began Therese unable to keep her eyes on Carol anymore. She glued her eyes down on her feet before she continued. “He died. In prison.”

There was a deafening silence following her words. Therese, too paralyzed by fear to look up, shut her eyes tightly and waited for a miracle to happen. This is not how she had expected things to turn out. She had waited for the right time to tell Carol but there was never a right time for these things, was it? The time was then and there and Therese had to face it so she looked up at Carol to find her in a state of complete shock. She had her hand covering her mouth as tears began to roll down her eyes.

“I’m sorry, so sorry. I didn’t want to…”

“Stop! This can’t be true. This is not simply true…” she trailed off shaking her head. 

“There was a fight in prison and he… I’m telling you the truth, Carol.”

“You lied to me. You kept me in the dark all this time,” she wept as she took a step away from Therese. “I can’t believe I trusted you when you told me I could.” Her face now changed to anger.

“Carol, please,” begged Therese as she took a step closer and stretched her hand to hold on to Carol.

“Don’t touch me!” cried Carol pushing Therese’s hand away from her. “Get out of my house.”

Those two words were worse than a slap across Therese’s face. She wished she had slapped her. But those words ripped through Therese’s heart like a knife. 

“Mom, don’t…” intervened Rindy wrapping her arms around Therese’s legs as if trying to keep her from going anywhere.

“You made _ my daughter _ part of this, too,” scoffed Carol. “For the last time: GET OUT!”

“Let go,” whispered Therese as she painfully unwrapped Rindy’s arms from around her. 

She gathered the last strength she had in her shaking body to make her way out of the room without looking back or shedding a single tear. The fact that she was still in her pajamas didn’t stop her from grabbing her jacket and the set of keys she had left on the furniture by the door the previous day. She unlocked the front door with a trembling hand and closed it behind her with a thud that echoed the emptiness of her heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... what could I possibly say after that ending? If I had a PO Box for you to send me hate mail I'd gladly pass it out.  
But there were more cute loving moments in the chapter and I gave you drunk Carol so... forgive me? :(
> 
> Pearl, I followed your advice and I'm standing by it. It can only get better from here... or terribly bad. Thank you so much Isa for lending me your story about how you found out the truth about Santa and let me make it Rindy's :)
> 
> Thank you Ansi for checking it beforehand as always. And all of you for reading and commenting. You have helped me find my motivation back during these crazy times. 
> 
> Love you all (I really do!)


	19. Chapter 19

Therese didn’t remember much of the drive to Dannie’s or how she had even made it safe and sound there. She walked up the stairs that had been her welcome home not so long ago but it somehow felt like a lifetime. As she made her way to Dannie’s apartment, she walked past her old apartment door and couldn't help but wonder who lived there now. Although the apartment wasn’t big enough for a family, she hoped that whoever lived there now was having a happy life. She gave a weak smile before she turned around to continue on her way. 

Since she had moved out, Therese had visited Dannie and Tom a couple of times but this was the first time she was stepping inside the apartment all by herself making her feel like an intruder. Little had she known that when Dannie gave her the apartment keys the day before she would be holding on to them as an escape route. Because that’s what she was doing now, escaping. If she had been more confident and strong she would have stood up to Carol and she would have demanded her to listen to her, and to the reasons and the feelings involved in her decision to keep Carol _ in the dark _ as she had said. A decision that surely hadn’t been easy for Therese to make, and even more difficult when she had asked Rindy to be part of it. Therese thought that maybe after saying all she had inside, maybe she would still be with them right then. But life was yet again showing her that no matter how good her intentions were, she’d always have to pay the price. 

The partial darkness and the coldness of Dannie’s apartment was a reflection of how Therese was feeling inside. She didn’t bother to turn on the lights or the heat when she made her way through the room and collapsed on Dannie’s couch. The dim light coming in from underneath the blackout curtains was the only sign that it was still daylight outside. She wanted to envelope herself in that darkness and coldness and just stop feeling or breathing altogether. The silence was soon broken by a wail that could have made anyone who listened to it feel their own heart breaking as well. She cried until her body began to shiver either because of the coldness, or because of sobs that felt more like spasms, or both. She stayed like that until she could no longer produce any more tears. 

After a short while, she sat up slowly and squeezed her eyes shut the instant her head began to throb as if she had a blade piercing right through it. She opened one eye to search for the lamp’s switch standing next to the couch to illuminate the now complete darkness of the room. It took every cell in her body to stand up and walk the short distance to Dannie’s bathroom. She turned on the switch but immediately regretted it when the strong light hit her eyes like daggers, the pulsations in her head becoming stronger. She let out a whimper as she pressed down on her temple with both hands trying to release some of the pain. She could also sense nausea starting to grow inside her, threatening to come out. It took all her willpower to open her eyes once again and focus on the task at hand. 

Therese opened the bathroom’s medicine cabinet and began to search for something that could help her with her throbbing headache. She was going through the different bottles when her eyes fell on one that had “sleeping pills” indicated on its label. Therese grabbed the transparent orange bottle and stared at the white pills inside. _ Sleep _ , that’s all she needed. Sleep would not only make her headache go away but it would also keep her from thinking, and her heart wouldn’t have to keep breaking as it currently was. She twisted the white lid open followed by its signature _ pop _ sound. Next, she tilted the bottle to let its content slide right into Therese’s hands. She looked at the five pills resting in her hand for a second before she put all but one back on the container. _ Sleep, that’s all I need _, she repeated to herself. She took the pill between her fingers and put it inside her mouth before she turned on the faucet, and with her hand serving as a bowl she pushed the pill down with water. She splashed some water on her face as well and let the water droplets fall as she watched her red puffy face in the mirror. Therese made it to Dannie’s bedroom where she took off her shoes and jacket and slipped under the covers in her pajamas. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes and before she knew it she was asleep. 

* * *

The next time Therese opened her eyes, it took her a couple of seconds to remember where she was. The bedroom looked exactly the same as she had last seen it before she went to sleep. There was light coming in through the bedroom curtains indicating that it was still day. This made Therese wonder if she had managed to get some sleep at all. She turned to the side on the bed to search for her phone on the nightstand and she cursed at herself the moment she remembered that she had left it behind. She looked at the time reflected on the clock by the nightstand and had to blink a couple of times to make sure she was seeing right. The time shown on the clock was 9:45. _ Did I just sleep for almost an entire day? _Therese asked herself out loud utterly shocked. 

Therese got off the bed and made a short stop at the bathroom before she continued her way to Dannie’s kitchen in search of something to eat. Her eyelids still felt heavy but the good news was that her head didn’t hurt anymore. As expected, Dannie had emptied most of the fresh stuff from the fridge to avoid them getting spoiled over the two weeks he’d be gone. Therese ended up making herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a chamomile tea. She took the plate and tea mug to the living room and placed them on a table. Then she proceeded to open the curtains to let the morning sun in. She ate her late and improvised breakfast in complete silence while trying as hard as she could to not think about anything. She concentrated on the feeling of the sun on her face, the way the salty flavor of the peanut butter melted with the sweetness of the strawberry in her mouth, the smell of the chamomile going up through her nostrils. Her senses reminded her that she was still there, she was the present and only present. But that feeling of calmness only lasted a few minutes because you simply cannot cover the sun with a finger.

Carol’s last words broke the silence in Therese’s head like a shattering sea, the waves of glass tearing up her armor made of paper. With trembling hands, she put the half-full tea mug back on the table as tears began to fill her already reddened eyes once more. The twisted labyrinth that was her mind brought her back to the pain and the loneliness that lived now in her heart. She stood up as violent sobs began to shake her weak body while her stomach threatened to expel what little it contained. Therese could feel the ball of sadness and anxiety begin to grow bigger and expand inside of her like a furious monster wanting to break free. She rushed to the bathroom and once she stood by the sink, she opened the medicine cabinet and took out the same orange bottle once more. She gave herself a look in the mirror and didn’t recognize the shell of the person that stared back at her; this being that could no longer allow herself to feel, to think or she’d crumble down to pieces. 

It was a little past 11:00 at night when Therese woke up again, only this time she didn’t feel confused about her surroundings as she had the first time. There was something oddly comforting about the night and its total quietness and stillness that made her feel at ease. Her mouth felt dry as a dessert so she made the short but straining way to the bathroom. She had to hold herself against the walls to keep from falling. The lack of food together with the intake of sleeping pills was making her feel tired and drowsy, and that sensation scared her a little. She drank loads and loads of water until she began to feel the tiniest bit more alive. The second time she made it to the kitchen, she made sure to eat more for her wellness so she opened a canned chicken soup which she devoured in just minutes. She also grabbed some chocolate cookies she was able to find in the pantry and made a mental note to restock whatever she ended up eating from Dannie’s kitchen. She sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to fill in the silence of the room. She picked the first show that appeared on the recommended section and pushed play without giving it any thought. At some point, Therese fell asleep on her own probably due to the effects of the sleeping pills still lingering in her body. 

The sound of an insistent ringing bell woke her up. Curled up on the couch, she didn’t open her eyes and decided to ignore it since the sound was probably coming from the TV she hadn’t switched off. The sound finally died after a few seconds. Just when she was falling back asleep, a knock on the door startled her back to consciousness. She sat up with a concerned look. Who could it be this late at night? It couldn’t be Dannie for he had a spare key to his apartment in his possession and wouldn’t need to knock. Could it be the landlord or a neighbor? Therese was hesitant to get up but the second and louder bang on the door shook her from her spot. She grabbed the fleece blanket by the armchair and threw it over her shoulders to cover up her messy appearance as much as possible wishing that she didn’t smell bad after not having showered in 2 days. She was just a few feet away from the door when a third knock occurred followed by a familiar voice yelling her name. Therese froze in her tracks. _ THERESE! _ the voice yelled again. Therese resumed her walk with trembling legs and she had to take a moment to take a deep breath before she opened the door.

“Therese!” Carol exclaimed with relief the moment she saw Therese standing on the door. “I was afraid you…” she added, taking a step closer to Therese as she reached out her hand to hold the brunette’s arm. 

“How did you know I was here?” asked Therese with a frown, taking a step backwards to avoid the blonde’s touch. 

“Your friend Dannie, he said he had given you the keys to his apartment so Abby thought— We were all so worried about you, especially Rindy. She’s been…”

“Where is she? Is she OK?” asked Therese, suddenly worried about the little girl.

“She’s at home with Abby,” explained Carol.

“What do you want?” continued Therese not showing much patience.

“I was hoping I could talk to you,” replied Carol looking directly into Therese’s eyes. There was a taint of nervousness in them that Therese hadn’t expected to see. 

“You were very clear last time.”

“Please, Therese,” Carol begged. 

Therese could feel her facade begin to weaken under those intense blue eyes. Without uttering a word, she turned around and started to walk towards the couch leaving Carol startled, standing by the door. Therese sat down on the couch and brought both her legs up to her chest wrapping her arms around them, and rested her chin between her knees. The fleece blanket fell around her small frame as a shield. Seconds later, Carol’s legs came into her line of vision.

“Take a seat,” said Therese pointing out with her head towards the armchair after seeing that Carol remained standing, shifting her weight.

Carol sat across from her keeping a significant distance between the two women. They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Carol regained the courage to speak. 

“Abby told me everything,” Carol began as she looked down at her hand resting on her lap. “She told me about my accident and how it happened. She told me that I had called you after learning about Harge’s death… and that you were on the other side of the phone when I—” Carol made a pause and took a deep shaky breath before she continued. “And that you were the one who went out there to find me,” said Carol looking up to Therese again.

Therese looked back at her with as much of a straight face as she could muster but her misty eyes were starting to betray her. Hearing Carol recap that awful and painful moment was hitting Therese harder than she had anticipated; and at the same time, seeing how it was affecting Carol as she spoke about it was making Therese feel on the verge of tears. She wrapped her arms tighter around her legs as she let out a trembling breath but she remained quiet, looking at the blonde. Carol seemed to be waiting for Therese to say something back but seeing that she wouldn’t, she resumed her speech.

“Abby also told me about my mother’s passing. I must confess that I wasn’t that shocked when Abby first told me about it,” Carol chuckled as she rubbed her hands nervously. “I hadn’t been close to her in many years since Harge and I got divorced… but I guess you know this already?” asked Carol with a nervous tone in her voice. 

Therese just nodded in response keeping her straight face in place. 

“I thought I’d never forgive her for the things that she said to me and the way that she treated me… But that changed when you came along. Abby told me how it was you who encouraged me to be by her side during her last hours. God, how I wish I could remember that moment,” Carol sighed as her shoulders sunk with defeat. 

“It was very special,” added Therese in almost a whisper, her mind taking her briefly to that emotive moment.

“I bet it was,” Carol pointed with a soft smile. “But what really got to me was learning why you wanted me to reconnect with her… learning about what happened to your family.”

“Don’t—,” said Therese as she stood up and walked up to the window giving her back to Carol. She wrapped the blanket tightly around her. “Don’t go there.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Carol apologized, shifting nervously in her seat. Silence followed.

“Is that all you came here to say?” asked Therese slightly, turning to the side but without making eye contact with Carol.

“No,” Carol replied, making a pause before continuing. “Rindy hasn’t spoken to me for the last two days. She got so angry at me after you left; and not knowing about where you were made things even worse. She would have never forgiven me if something had happened to you. She adores you, you know.” Carol smiled at Therese despite having the brunette’s back towards her.

“You can tell her now that I’m OK,” said Therese looking into the night sky as a single tear fell down her cheek.

“That’s not what she wants. I’m here to offer you a truce.”

“A truce?” burst out Therese as she turned around and looked at Carol with furrowed eyebrows. “Carol, I’m not your enemy. I’m your wife, whether you like it or not.” Therese could feel a fire starting inside of her, filling her with the courage she hadn’t shown before. “I don’t need your permission or blessing to go back to my _ own _home.” Therese made a short pause to stare at Carol’s surprised face which gave Therese the boost to continue speaking her truth.

“The reason why I left after you kicked me out was that I didn’t want to put you under more stress. You had just returned home and I wanted to make sure that you were comfortable. And I guess that has always been my weakness: putting you and your needs first. It was never my intention to keep something so important from you. All I wanted was to keep you from hurting and I failed,” Therese managed to say, holding in her tears that were mixed with resentment.

“Therese, I—” uttered Carol, taking a trembling hand to her mouth.

“And the only reason why I didn’t tell you about Harge was to not overwhelm you. I wanted you to enjoy Christmas with Rindy without that shadow above you. Because I knew how the news about his death would affect you; because I witnessed it the first time.” Therese took a deep breath before she continued. “You cannot imagine how hard all this has been for me. To look at you and not see the way those sparkling eyes used to look back at me or to have you there in front of me and not be able to kiss you or touch you. It hurts so much,” confessed Therese, slightly taken aback by her own words. She hadn't foreseen being this raw and honest about her feelings with Carol but it felt like the right time since they now seemed to be putting their cards on the table. 

“No, Carol. I’m not accepting your truce. If I come back home, it’ll be under my _ own _terms. I’m going to put myself first this time. Now leave, please,” said Therese as she wiped away a tear. 

Carol opened her mouth to say something but she closed it again without making a sound. Her face was a turmoil of emotions that mirrored what Carol must have been feeling inside. She stood up like a lifeless doll pulled by a string with her eyes fixed on the floor. She put her hand inside the pocket of her jacket and from it, she pulled out Therese’s phone which she placed on the table in front of her. And without saying another word, Carol turned around and Therese watched her as she left.

Therese barely noticed the stream of tears that had started to run free down her face. Nor had she realized that she was still standing on the same spot as her body trembled. She had thought she would get a sense of liberation after opening her heart to Carol and saying the words that had been choking her these last days. But seeing Carol go had left her back in shreds. She had to fight the urge to run after her and return back home with her. Therese knew she would come back, but she needed to put herself back together first. She wasn’t sure how things would be between her and Carol now that there were no more lies between them. She sure had to thank Abby for having done part of the work for Therese. 

Therese made her way back to the couch and resumed her previous fetal position. The sound of her breathing was interrupted by the sound of a familiar _ ding! _ coming from her phone. She partially uncovered herself from under the blanket and reached out for her phone sitting on the table. There were a couple of different notifications popping up on her lock screen but there was one in particular that made her heart skip a beat. Therese pressed on the new text message that read:

_ I’m sorry for everything - Carol _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I hope you won't hate me that much for yet another slightly less sad chapter? I know it's not as happy and loving as maybe you had wished for but we're getting there!
> 
> This chapter is not that long, but I really wanted to focus on Therese's pain and that conversation between her and Carol that imo had been long overdue. Now that they have both spoken their minds and there are no more secrets, things can only begin to heal between them. How did you feel about Therese finally standing up for herself? I also hope that I answered some of the questions you had.
> 
> Kudos to my sis Beate for recognizing the Tori Amos reference with "shattering sea", here's the link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm1NffeE3Mg
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for letting my words move you in the way you let me know they do. It means so much to me and I always feel overwhelmed by your love.


	20. Chapter 20

The first thing Therese did the following morning was to call Dannie and apologize for having taken over his apartment without letting him know first.

“I didn’t have anywhere to go and I didn’t have time to grab my phone,” she explained.

“It’s fine, Terry. Don’t worry. I’m glad that you’re safe there. We were all so worried about you!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Everything just happened so quickly I didn’t think.”

“I understand. What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to stay here a few more days. I need some time to think. I don’t want to keep repeating the same mistakes.”

“And that’s good. You deserve some time for yourself. You’re an amazing human being, you know that?”

“Thank you, Dannie. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Therese said holding back her tears. “And I promise I’ll leave the apartment as if I’ve never been here.”

“As long as you take care of [my plants](https://cdn.apartmenttherapy.info/image/upload/f_jpg,q_auto:eco,c_fill,g_auto,w_1500,ar_1:1/at%2Farchive%2F50f3d9d8145a9cab2311c711af7f96781d20899c)...” joked Dannie, making Therese laugh for the first time in days. 

Although the conversation with Carol hadn’t been an easy one, at least it had brought Therese some much-needed peace of mind. She had finally been able to utter the words that had been trapped inside of her and that had tormented her for the past days. Despite how much she continued to love and care for Carol, she knew she needed to step out of Carol’s shadow and start taking care of herself. Therese still felt hurt by Carol’s words and only this short time alone could help things heal. Also, Therese needed this time to think about how the new dynamic between her and Carol would be like once she returned home, so this was another reason to stay away. 

* * *

On the next days that followed, Therese got up in the morning to enjoy a few minutes of sunshine on her face. She also took this as a moment to meditate and relax her mind from everything that was stressing her and she realized how she had never taken these little moments to focus on herself. And of course, she made sure to take care of Dannie’s plants not only by watering them but also by talking to them as she had read. They were the only other living thing that kept her company. 

Once she gained some strength back, she gave herself a well-deserved bath to wash away all the stress and sadness from the last few days. She used the tiniest amount of Dannie’s expensive-looking shampoo bottle and washed her messy hair thoroughly; by the time she was done with her bath, she could already feel more like herself, more human. She also put her dirty clothes in the wash and given that she didn’t have anything else to wear while she waited, she borrowed a bathrobe from Dannie. Not having proper clothes was an inconvenience that confined her to Dannie’s apartment. She thought about making a quick trip home to collect more clothes and return but she didn’t want to have to say goodbye to Rindy once more. She could survive like that a couple more days. 

On the second day before New Year’s Eve, Therese received a text from Abby:

_ Hey Therese! I’m going to throw a little party for New Year’s Eve. Crystal and I would love to have you, Carol and Rindy join us but we’ll understand if you don’t feel like it. I hope you feel better soon. Don’t be too hard on her - Abby _

Therese took a moment before she replied to Abby’s text. She didn’t want to be rude to her and reject the invitation, after all she had done for her and Carol during these difficult weeks. She chose to be honest and reply that she wasn’t sure if she’d make it but she was thankful for the invitation. 

* * *

On that note, Therese decided to return home the following day. Dannie would be back in his apartment the day after New Year’s Eve, so Therese would have to get the apartment ready before then. With her current lack of clothes situation, she wouldn’t be able to go grocery shopping and buy the stuff she had been consuming during her stay there, so her return couldn’t be delayed any longer. She put on her jacket and locked the apartment behind her without sending Carol a text to let her know about her arrival.

The first one to greet her when she opened the door and stepped into the apartment was Milan, his welcoming barks immediately making the rest of the house aware of her presence. Rindy was the next one to welcome Therese. The little girl made a run from her bedroom to the entry hall. 

“MOMMY!” she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around Therese, almost knocking the brunette over. 

Therese got down on her knees to be able to hug Rindy back. She closed her eyes and smelled the perfume of Rindy’s hair that smelled of flowers. The warmth of their embrace almost brought Therese to tears as she realized how much she had missed Rindy in the last couple of days. Therese had also missed being held tightly and feeling loved, at home. 

“I’ve missed you so much, little one,” said Therese as she held Rindy’s face with both hands and smiled at her. But that smile stiffened when Therese noticed Carol approaching them from the corner of her eye. 

“I was hoping it was you,” Carol announced, keeping her distance. 

“I need to change clothes before I go back to Dannie’s,” Therese explained without looking at Carol and keeping her eyes on Rindy instead.

“Are you leaving again?” Rindy asked with a sad expression. 

“Just for a few hours. I have to tidy up his apartment before he comes back,” she replied, as she played with Rindy’s hair.

“Can I come with you?” asked Rindy with sudden excitement.

Therese hesitated at first and was about to open her mouth to ask Carol for permission but Therese held herself back as she quickly remembered what she had recently promised herself. 

“Yes, you can. But let me go change first,” she answered instead. She got up and only when she passed in front of Carol did Therese look at her with confidence. Carol’s baffled expression didn’t get lost on Therese making her feel the slightest bit proud. “Don’t worry about dinner,” she added as she made her way to their bedroom. 

Before they headed to Dannie’s apartment, Therese and Rindy made a stop at the grocery store to not only restock the food items Therese had eaten but also to buy him a little present as a way to thank him for letting her stay at his place. Rindy was the one who came up with the excellent idea of buying him [another plant](https://www.breyi.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/IMG_7068.jpg) so he could have something to remind him of them. About half an hour later, they stepped into Dannie’s apartment to get right to business. Rindy helped Therese change the bedsheets Therese had slept on to put on a clean set. Next, they put the used bedsheets and towels in the washing machine and while they waited for them to be ready, they continued to clean the bathroom. They put the grocery items back in the pantry and they added a few more things like fresh milk, bread, and fruit for Dannie to have when he came back. Therese cleaned the dishes she had used and put them back where they belonged, and she did the same with the living room. Rindy suggested placing the new plant on the kitchen counter with a little thank you note next to it. 

Once they were finished with the tidying up, they still had to wait a few more minutes for the laundry to dry. Therese saw this as an opportunity to sit down and talk to Rindy alone about what had happened between her and Carol.

“Rin, Carol told me that you aren’t talking to her,” she stated as she placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“Yes,” replied Rindy, looking down at her hands.

“Is it because of what happened at Christmas?” Therese asked although she knew the answer. She wanted to let Rindy speak. 

“Yes. Mom shouldn’t have kicked you out. It was wrong.”

“Look at me,” said Therese, placing two fingers under Rindy’s chin to get the girl’s attention. “I know that what she did wasn’t OK but you have to understand that she’s going through a lot. I shouldn’t have kept the truth about your dad a secret and I shouldn’t have asked you to be part of it. What happened was my fault in a way for trying to take care of your mom. But what I want you to learn from all this is that sometimes we have to be strong and tell the truth even though it’s hard. I should have done the right thing with your mom.” Therese took a moment to caress Rindy’s face before she continued.

“She loves you so much, and in her head, she still believes that she just got you back. So please be kind to her.”

“Are you mad at her?” asked Rindy looking straight into Therese’s eyes, making her feel exposed. 

“I—” The question caught Therese off guard, for she wasn’t expecting Rindy to be this straightforward. Therese took a deep breath before she answered. “I love your mom and I always will. Both of you are my world,” she said, taking Rindy’s hand in hers. “I’m not mad at her but she hurt me with her actions and words. Sometimes we say hurtful things that we don’t mean but that end up hurting anyway. I know that deep down your mom didn’t mean to hurt me but she did, and now I need some time to feel better again. Alright?”

“Yes. I just want things to be like they used to,” Rindy sighed. 

“Me too, little one, me too,” Therese breathed out before she hugged Rindy. “I promise you that they will. We have to be patient.”

* * *

On their way back home, they stopped at a Mexican restaurant to pick up tacos and quesadillas for dinner following Rindy’s request. When they made it back home, Therese carried the bags with the food while Rindy helped to open the apartment door. 

“You’re back,” uttered Carol with relief the moment she saw them step through the door. “I was starting to worry. Did you have a good time?” she asked with a nervous smile.

“We did,” replied Therese caressing Rindy’s back. The girl looked up at her and Therese gave her an encouraging wink.

“We changed the bedsheets…,” she began as she walked up to Carol and wrapped her arms around her. “And then we cleaned the bathroom. Oh! And we bought Dannie a plant,” Rindy recounted as if nothing had happened between them.

“You did?” whispered Carol as she caressed Rindy’s head. Therese could notice by the look on Carol’s face how she was trying to stay calm and not let her emotions overcome her. Carol looked up to Therese with sparkling and tender eyes that said it all.

“Rindy decided to have a Mexican night. I’m taking these to the couch,” she said pointing to the bag of food with her head. “We could all watch a movie,” Therese suggested.

“I’d love that,” Carol answered with a cute side smile. 

Back in the living room, Rindy and Carol began to take out the food from the bag and place it on the coffee table while Therese went to the kitchen to look for glasses and something to drink.

“What are we watching?” asked Carol once they were all seated, Rindy in the middle of both women.

“[Coco](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYjQ5NjM0Y2YtNjZkNC00ZDhkLWJjMWItN2QyNzFkMDE3ZjAxXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODIxMzk5NjA@._V1_.jpg), of course!” replied Rindy with excitement. 

“Did I watch it before?” asked Carol looking slightly embarrassed.

“A couple of times at the cinema and a couple more at home,” Therese answered as she handed Carol a tray with quesadillas. “It’s one of Rindy’s favorites.”

“I wish I could be like you mom…” Rindy sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“Watch your favorite movie again as if it were the first time,” she confessed looking back at Carol. The comment made both women chuckle.

They had finished dinner quickly and now an hour later, they sat back with Rindy laying down on the couch between them. Therese had watched the movie enough times by now to be able to sit through it without bawling her eyes out. The film’s strong reference to the importance of family and roots had moved Therese very deeply; and at the same time, she realized how her connection to her own family traditions and memories had started to fade to give room to new ones. At that moment, as they were approaching the film’s end where the characters are dealing with the significance of remembering to keep the memory of those who passed alive, the sound of loud sobs caught Therese’s attention. She turned her head around and found Carol in a pool of tears as she tried to quiet her involuntary tremors. Therese stretched herself forward and grabbed the remote control from off the table to press stop.

“Carol, what’s wrong?” asked Therese, bending over Rindy, who had her head resting on Carol’s lap, to place a hand on Carol’s knee. 

“Nothing,” she replied, wiping her tears with her hand. “Don’t stop the movie because of me,” she added between sobs.

“It’s OK, mom. We can watch it another time,” said Rindy as she sat up and cleaned a tear from Carol’s cheek. 

Therese understood very well the reason for Carol’s tears. She could barely imagine how the narrative of that scene was reflecting Carol’s current situation and the turmoil that must be her inner thoughts and emotions. Therese remembered how during the first time they had watched the film, Carol had managed to stay more together and had only shed a few tears. But now, the Carol sitting in front of her in tears was so different from that Carol, and Therese could only attribute that change to the accident. 

“I’m fine. We’re almost there,” continued Carol faking a smile while she circled Rindy’s shoulders with her arm and bringing the girl closer to her. “Please, push play,” she asked Therese.

Therese resumed the movie and the three of them continued to watch but the mood in the room had significantly shifted as it felt tenser now.

“That was beautiful,” uttered Carol once the film ended. “No wonder why it’s your favorite,” she added, playing with Rindy’s hair. The tears had stopped but her face still looked red and her eyes were puffy. 

Rindy emitted a yawn in response.

“Let’s go to bed, sunshine,” said Carol, taking Rindy’s hand before she got up to take the girl with her. 

Therese got up and gathered the leftovers and trash from off the table and walked to the kitchen. She transferred all the leftovers into one plastic tray and put it in the fridge. Therese got distracted by putting away the garbage she didn’t notice Carol stepping in dangerously carrying the empty glasses with one hand. 

“I’ve got it,” said Therese, rushing to take the glasses from Carol before she went to the sink and started to clean them.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” Carol apologized as she took a few steps closer to Therese.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“I don’t know what came over me,” Carol mused in a low voice.

“I understand more than you think,” confessed Therese as she placed the last glass on the dish rack and turned halfway towards Carol. “I had the same reaction the first time I watched it. I guess that the feeling of having lost something does the trick,” she explained nonchalantly. 

“Yes,” Carol whispered as she looked down for a moment. “Also, thank you for talking to Rindy,” she added looking back at Therese.

“It was nothing,” she replied as she dried her hand with a kitchen towel. 

They stared at each other in silence for a few heartbeats which made Therese unsure of how to proceed.

“Abby is having a party tomorrow…” continued Carol with a nervous soft grin. “I don’t know if she told you already.”

“Yes, she texted me,” replied Therese, keeping her cool manner.

“Oh, OK. Well, I guess this is not the best time to celeb—”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t go,” Therese interrupted in an almost cocky manner as she crossed her arms. 

“Oh-oh OK,” Carol stammered. “I’ll let Abby know that we’re coming, then,” she said with a tone that sounded more like a question. 

“OK,” answered back Therese, before she watched Carol step away.

Therese stayed in the kitchen to buy some time before she headed to their bedroom. She had noticed before that the pillows she slept with the previous nights weren’t anywhere around the couch. Therese entered the bedroom at the same time Carol made it out of the bathroom. She had changed into her pajamas, keeping her arm sling on as expected. She had let her wavy hair down and it fell around her face making her look absolutely stunning. Therese stood there staring at her momentarily forgetting why she was there. 

“I’m sorry that I took your pillows,” said Carol trying to break the awkward silence between them as she walked to the bed and grabbed one of Therese’s pillows. “I wanted to be more comfortable.”

“Carol,” said Therese to get the blonde to look back at her. “I’m not going to sleep on the couch. I want to sleep in  _ my  _ bed.” 

“Oh, of course,” Carol whispered slightly flustered as she put the pillow back in its place. 

“Take one for your arm,” Therese said before she turned around and went to the wardrobe. 

She opened the first drawer and took a new pair of pajamas and underwear and headed to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, she made it back to the bedroom and saw that all the lights had been switched off except for the lamp on her nightstand. From her standing place by the doorframe, she observed Carol resting on her back with her eyes closed, her left arm resting on a pillow as Therese had told her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Carol was truly asleep. Therese closed the bathroom door quietly behind her and made her way around the bed. She opened the bedcovers and got inside carefully so as not to wake Carol up in case she was indeed asleep. Next, she turned off the lamp, covered herself, and curled up on her side with her back towards Carol. She stared into the darkness unable to close her eyes with her heart beating so fast and loud she worried Carol would hear it. She wanted so desperately to turn around and reach out her hand to caress the blonde’s back, and then wrap herself around Carol’s warm body and fall asleep. Therese held her hand closer to her chest and cursed at herself for thinking that sharing the bed with Carol would be an easy thing to do for she simply couldn't fight the everlasting force that would always pull her towards Carol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! I know there's not much going on in this chapter (at least nothing too dramatic for my taste) but I felt like I needed to give you all a break from the last two, hehe! 
> 
> I know some of you are impatiently waiting for some sweet action to happen between Carol and Therese, and believe me I want that too! But my instinct tells me that I have to take this slow, as it should. I want too to make this story last as long as possible so these slow steps do the trick ;)
> 
> If you haven't watched Coco, please take some time to do it! It's a beautiful experience. Shout out to my le-ladies and our Zoom call!
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you all of you for being there and sharing your thoughts. Stay safe!


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, Therese woke up to an empty bed. She had planned to be the first to wake up to avoid that uncomfortable situation in case Carol woke up at the same time as her. But finally having had the chance to finally rest in her own bed after days had tricked her into sleeping in longer. She was surprised that she had actually managed to get some sleep considering the restless state she was in before she fell asleep. Therese couldn’t help but wonder if Carol had been able to sleep well or like her, she also had felt an unsettling tension between them. Therese got out of bed and put on a robe before she walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen. She heard noises coming from the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re up,” said Carol when she laid eyes on Therese. She was putting some toasted bread on a plate. “I was planning to bring you your coffee and some toast to bed but I guess it took me too long,” lamented Carol, who had been manipulating things around the kitchen with one hand. 

“It’s OK. I’m here now,” replied Therese with a small smile as she sat down on a chair by the small kitchen table. 

She watched as Carol went to the coffee machine and poured some of the black liquid into a mug, then added a splash of milk and two sugars; just like Therese liked it. Therese smiled proudly at this but quickly hid away her smile when Carol turned around with the cup of coffee and started to walk towards her.

“I hope I did it just how you told me,” she said shyly as she placed the cup of coffee in front of Therese. 

Therese took the mug and stirred the steaming hot liquid a few times before she took the mug carefully to her mouth and drank from it. 

“It’s fine,” Therese finally acknowledged after a short pause. Actually, the coffee was more than just good, it was perfect; and what made it so was the fact that Carol had tried to prepare it just like she had told her, but Therese still felt like admitting how perfect it really was would send the wrong signal. She still wanted to keep not just a physical but also an emotional distance from Carol. 

“Oh, OK,” replied Carol, slightly disappointed at Therese’s reaction. She turned around and walked up to the counter where she had left the toast and brought it to Therese’s table. Then she made a second trip to the fridge and grabbed a jar of strawberry jam that she also brought to the brunette. 

Therese felt the need to get up and help Carol but she also wanted to give the blonde her space and make her feel like she could still do things around the house on her own. After all, Carol and Rindy had both survived almost a week without Therese’s presence. 

“You’re not having breakfast?” asked Therese as she watched Carol putting things back.

“I already had something,” she explained with a subtle more saddened expression. “I’m going to check on Rindy,” she added before she began to walk away.

Therese felt a pang of guilt in her stomach that made her swallow the coffee with such difficulty as if she were swallowing a bunch of rocks. 

“Thank you,” Therese managed to utter before Carol disappeared from the room. 

The blonde turned slightly around and nodded once with her head, in response, and walked out. 

  
  


Therese spent part of the afternoon locked inside her darkroom. Although she didn’t have that much work to do, she wanted to have this quiet time to herself, as she had promised. She always seemed to find some long-lost forgotten film roll that she hadn’t developed so she was happy to have found something to keep her mind busy with for a little while. The film she had found revealed to contain photographs that Therese had taken last summer during one boring afternoon. Some of the shots were of Rindy who at the time still had all her teeth in place, some other shots were of Milan, and there were also shots of Therese that Rindy herself had taken. Therese smiled at them like a proud mom since she was delighted with the final result. But her heart quickly shrunk inside of her when the chemicals revealed a series of pictures Therese had taken of Carol that day. Carol had come back home after a long day feeling very stressed. There had been a problem with one of the artists for the upcoming exhibit and all the responsibility had fallen on Carol’s shoulders. She had headed straight to the bathroom barely saying hello to Rindy and Therese, and Therese knew best to let Carol have a few moments alone to cool down. Some minutes later, Therese had ventured to enter the bathroom to check on Carol and what she saw left her momentarily speechless. Carol was lying in the bathtub with her head slightly back, with water barely covering her breasts. On the one hand, she was holding a cigarette. _ It was a big fucking day _ , Carol had said to excuse her behavior. [_ Stay just like that_](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BFVs8B8oTHuwWWrS9-whwNMg-0c3EaHC/view?usp=sharing), was all Therese had said in return before she ran out of the bathroom to grab her camera. Therese looked at these pictures now with melancholia and dejection. And guilt. 

After she was done with developing the film, she took Milan on a walk while Carol took a shower on her own despite Therese’s offer to help. By the time they came back from the walk, Therese found Rindy and Carol sitting on their bed; Carol holding the hairdryer with her good hand with her head bent down while Roindy brushed the blonde’s hair. The scene was a picture that could have been well described as “teamwork”.

“How does it look?” asked Carol after she turned off the hairdryer and let her hair fall back down. 

Rindy giggled in response. Carol’s thin hair looked puffed out and frizzy, making her look as if she had electrocuted herself. Therese had to try hard not to laugh as well. 

“Oh no…” muttered Carol with shock. “That’s it, I’m wearing a hat.”

“I can fix it,” interrupted Therese as she walked to the bathroom to grab a flat iron and some hair clips. She returned to the bed and plugged in the flat iron and placed it on the nightstand to let it heat.

“Turn around,” instructed Therese to Carol who still seemed to be hesitant to accept Therese’s help. She ended up turning around and let Therese fix her hair.

Therese parted the blonde’s hair in two sections, starting with the bottom one. The pleasure of running her fingers through Carol’s hair made Therese feel a rush of bliss and a thrill that she hadn’t felt in a while. She wanted to prolong that moment but she was highly aware of the time. With a couple of run overs with the iron, Carol’s hair looked significantly better. Therese had been able to add some natural waves to it making the blonde’s hair look dreamy. Carol stood up and walked to the standing mirror by the door.

“It looks beautiful,” she beamed with a smile as she looked at herself in the mirror. 

“I’m glad you like it,” replied Therese, as she began to gather the things from the bed. 

“Can you do my hair, too?” begged Rindy.

“Yes but let’s go change first so your mom can get ready— or do you need help with that?” Therese quickly asked Carol.

“I’ll be fine. Now go get ready,” she replied with a soft grin. 

Therese took a quick shower and began to ready herself for the party. Carol had left the room to change while the blonde finished putting on makeup in the other bathroom. Therese went through her clothes hanging in the closet unsure of what she should wear. She knew that anything she picked would still look like new in Carol’s eyes, but why did she care what Carol would think? The truth was that no matter how much she tried to pretend, she’d always want to impress Carol. After a couple of minutes, she finally decided to go with a [white long-sleeved dress](https://i.insider.com/592c1d9b118c80807e883b7d?width=600&format=jpeg&auto=webp) that she had found some time ago in a vintage second-hand store. She had never had the chance to wear it before so she was excited to wear it for the first time that night. She paired the dress with [black low-ankle boots](https://images.www.fendi.com/images/h01/h88/9040865656862/8T6984A8T9F0QA1_01_large-grey) to give it a bohemian-chic twist. She put her hair in a low bun and loosened some front strands of hair to add some volume and make it a bit messy. She kept her makeup pretty minimal as she already had a perfect face and skin; she added some mascara, winged eyeliner, blush, and a nude-pink lipstick.

When she finally stepped out of the room with her jacket and purse in hand ready to get going, she was stopped dead in her tracks. The sight of Carol’s final look for the night left her momentarily speechless; and by the look on Carol’s face, she seemed to be experiencing the same with Therese’s. Carol was in an [all-black pantsuit](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2019/11/10485846i-1574830035-640x1004.jpg) with a matching turtleneck shirt underneath. She had high heels on making her look taller and elegant. She had let her hair down and chose to go with her signature bold red lipstick. They stood there staring at each other; a starless night staring at the brightest moon, one drawn to the other inevitably by the force of the universe. Carol was the one to break the intense silence.

“You look very fine,” she said with a low voice and a smirk.

“You, too,” breathed Therese, feeling as if her body had run out of air. “Are we ready to go?” she asked as she looked around for Rindy. 

“Yes. Rindy!” yelled Carol in the girl’s room direction. 

A few seconds passed until Rindy came back to the living room running. The girl was wearing a [red dress](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/H03c2e4e063ab4ad1bae2a5b01d266684x.jpg) with black leggings and shoes. 

“Wooow, mommy. You look so pretty!” exclaimed Rindy when she looked at Therese. 

"She sure does,” added Carol and Therese felt her cheeks setting on fire.

“Uhm—” she creaked before she cleared her throat. “Let’s go or we’ll be late,” she instructed as she quickly turned around to hide her bubbling happiness. 

* * *

Abby was the one to welcome them inside her apartment. Her place was located in a more posh neighborhood with a stunning view of the city. The [semi-industrial](https://cdn.decoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Enjoy-a-beautiful-evening-gazing-at-the-brilliant-skyline.jpg) looking apartment had a living room area big and spacious enough to host parties with 10-15 guests just like this one.

“You two are always a delight to the eyes,” greeted Abby as she hugged both Carol and Therese. “And you Rindy, always looking like a princess. Come give me a kiss,” she told Rindy. 

Therese stepped inside the room and already began to feel a little nervous at the sight of people she didn’t know looking back at her. She observed that people were chatting in small groups standing up or sitting on couches. She tried to keep a friendly smile as she scanned the room. Crystal didn’t take long to approach them and welcome them as well.

“I’m so glad you came,” she told Therese, taking her by the arm. “I was worried you and Carol were… you know,” she said in a lower voice.

“It’s complicated. But I’m glad to be here.”

“Of course,” she replied with a smile. “Let me introduce you to the rest. Abby is a terrible host,” she joked. 

After Crystal introduced them to some of the guests nearby, she walked them to the buffet table they had set at one corner of the living room with different kinds of dishes to pick from. And there was alcohol, lots of it, too. Abby took Carol to a group of people standing on the opposite side of the room and judging by the greeting, Therese assumed they knew each other from before. Therese was more than thankful to have Rindy by her side to keep her from feeling out of place. She always felt insecure and nervous around strangers, like she didn’t belong with these sophisticated and well-educated people. And there was Carol, always the most beautiful woman in the room by her side. One of Therese’s worst nightmares had been where someone accused her of being an impostor and just like that everything was taken from her. She had told Carol about this dream and she had brushed it away as just a bad dream. But it hadn’t been just that to Therese. 

Knowing that it was already a little past Rindy’s dinner time, she filled a plate with food and drinks from the buffet table and took it with them to a near-empty couch. Both of them began to eat from the same plate as they chatted. Therese could hear Carol’s deep and loud laugh coming from across the room, and when she turned her face around their eyes met in that instant. Carol was holding a glass of champagne and she took a sip from it while she held Therese’s look. Although they were in the same room, the distance between them felt like miles. 

“I’m glad I’m not the only mother with her kid around here,” suddenly interrupted a voice.

Therese looked to the opposite side and found a woman holding a baby in her arms sitting next to them on the couch. Therese smiled at her kindly. 

“I’m Laura by the way,” she introduced herself. “And this is Felix,” she added looking down at the sleeping baby dressed in a navy onesie. 

“I’m Therese and this is Rindy.”

“Nice to meet you. I don’t know anyone else here except for Crystal and Abby of course. My husband works with Crystal.”

“Same here,” said Therese with relief knowing that she wasn’t the only one. “How old is he?”

“He’s almost 2 months. Time sure flies with this one!”

The two of them continued to talk about their life and motherhood.

“Rindy’s not mine,” Therese explained after Laura had asked when she had had the girl since she looked so young. “She’s from my wife, Carol.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Laura apologized, looking terribly embarrassed. 

“She’s my mommy,” Rindy added proudly looking up to Therese. 

“It’s OK. Abby is Rindy’s Godmother,” Therese explained caressing Rindy’s head. “The one standing over there next to Abby is Carol.”

“Oh wow. She’s beautiful,” Laura confessed looking past Therese. 

“She is.”

“I mean— not that you aren’t beautiful, too. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend—” 

“You didn’t,” she replied with a wide smile. How could Therese feel offended by the way people reacted to Carol’s beauty?

“Can I ask you to hold him while I go to the bathroom real quick?” Laura asked after a moment.

“Of course,” agreed Therese, happy to do so. She had been secretly waiting to hold him since she saw him. 

Laura carefully placed the sleeping baby in Therese’s arms making sure that his little head was resting comfortably on Therese’s forearm before she let go and turned around and left. Therese looked down at him barely containing the overwhelming feeling of joy inside her. Rindy touched the baby’s head ever so lightly following Therese’s words not to wake him up. Therese could feel her heart bursting with happiness. All of a sudden, a shattering sound interrupted the moment. Therese turned her head towards the direction the noise had come from; her eyes falling on the broken glass shattered on the floor first, and then on Carol. She had a shocked expression on her face as if she had just woken up from a dream. The second she realized what had happened, Carol immediately started to apologize to Abby for what she had done. Therese wanted to get up and walk to her but the sleeping baby in her arms kept her from doing so. Rindy, on the other hand, returned her attention to the baby as if nothing had happened. 

“I’m back,” announced Laura when she came back. “What happened?” she asked looking at the scene taking place across the room. Crystal had stepped in with a broom and dustpan to clean the broken glass.

“My mom broke a glass,” explained Rindy nonchalantly.

“Oh. Did he behave while I was gone?” she inquired as she got closer to Therese and stretched her arms to receive her baby back. 

“Yes, he sleeps like an angel,” replied Therese as she placed the baby back into his mother’s arm, already feeling a void.

“Can we have one?” asked Rindy, still looking at the baby.

“Maybe one day,” answered Therese, forcing a smile for her mind was still thinking about what had just happened. She turned her head back again but didn’t see Carol or Abby around. “I’m going to go check on your mom,” she told Rindy. “Can she stay with you for a bit?” she asked Laura.

“Yes, yes. Don’t worry.”

Therese got up and walked around the living and dining room to look around for Carol. When she didn’t find her there or the kitchen, she headed towards the hall that led to the bedrooms. She was approaching what seemed to be Abby and Crystal’s bedroom when she heard voices coming from inside. She tried to be as silent as possible as she got closer to the half-opened door. She held her breath as she stood right next to the door to listen to the conversation already taking place.

“...and I just don’t know what to do,” Therese heard Carol said between sobs. “Every time I see her, I get these butterflies inside me and I forget how to breathe, just like tonight. And whenever she looks at me with those green eyes or touches me, I feel elated.”

“Are you trying to say that you have a crush on your wife?” asked Abby followed by a giggle.

“Abby! I’m being serious.”

“My bad. Please continue.”

“I— I don’t how to explain it. It’s like my heart wants to run wild and let all these feelings for her out but my brain tells me i_ t’s not safe, you don’t know her. _ My head and my heart are disconnected and I don’t know how to put them back together. _ ” _

“You have to tell her how you’re feeling, or these mixed feelings will consume you.”

“I can’t. She hates me. She’s been so cold and distant after we— I ruined it.”

“Carol, there’s no possible way that Therese hates you. The love that girl has for you, it’s immense.” 

Therese’s heart gave a skip at the mention of her name. She had the impression that they were talking about her but hearing her name just confirmed it. She felt a knot starting to build in her stomach as she listened to Carol’s confession. Therese had a faint hope that this Carol had some feelings for her but after their fight, what little hope Therese had vanished. Now she felt a mix of happiness and guilt after hearing Carol’s words. 

“I’m sure she does... but for the person I was before, not the shell that I am now. I’m hurting her, and I can’t stand it. How can I tell her how I’m feeling when I’m the one pushing her away?”

That was enough for Therese to hear. She began to walk back to the living room, each step feeling heavier than the last. She didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. Listening to Carol open up about her inner battle and how she thought Therese hated her broke the brunette’s heart. But at the same time, knowing that this Carol felt something for her, even though it wasn’t the love they used to share, Therese was ecstatic to learn those feelings for her were still there saved inside the blonde’s heart. She wanted desperately to talk to her, but she decided to wait until they were back home. 

On her way back to the couch, Therese made a quick stop to grab a glass of champagne which she finished in a few gulps. She tried to look as calm and normal when she rejoined Rindy and Laura.

“Everything alright?” asked Laura, with a frown.

“Yes, she’s fine. She’s with Abby.”

“I’m sorry. Rindy told me about her accident. I bet it hasn’t been easy.”

“No, not at all. But she will get better,” said Therese with a weak smile. 

A few minutes later, Carol walked up to them and sat at one of the armchairs next to Therese. She had her eyes slightly red and there still was a glimmer to them. 

“Are you having fun without me?” she asked as she shifted in her seat and crossed a leg on top of the other.

“Look, mom! A baby!” Rindy said pointing at the still sleeping baby. 

“Hi. I’m Laura and this is Felix. Nice to meet you,” she said as she tried to free a hand and stand up.

“Oh don’t get up,” Carol interrupted as she uncrossed her legs and got up. She walked to the other side of the couch where Laura was sitting. ”I’m Carol,” she greeted as she shook the woman’s hand and bent a little forward to look at the baby in her arms. “He’s so precious.”

Therese observed as Carol’s previous saddened expression immediately changed to a more peaceful and tender one as she stared at the baby and she couldn’t help feeling that same tenderness inside of her. 

As they got closer to midnight, Rindy began to fall asleep on the couch next to Therese. The girl had been up since early in the morning and it was expected that she’d fall asleep by this time. Abby and Crystal had joined them not long ago and when Abby noticed Rindy’s sleepy state, she offered to take her to the guest room where she normally slept. When the New Year countdown was about to start, everyone grabbed a glass of champagne and stood near the living room windows to be able to catch some of the fireworks in the distance. Therese stood with her glass a few steps behind Carol. ..._ 5...4...3...2...1… HAPPY NEW YEAR! _The room chanted. Therese took a step forward. 

“Happy New Year,” she said as she clinked Carol’s glass and then took a sip from it.

“Happy New Year,” Carol repeated looking at her with surprised eyes.

The combination of the alcohol and what she had heard earlier gave her the confidence to slip an arm around Carol’s waist as the fireworks began to color the night sky. She noticed Carol’s body tense at the sudden touch but it quickly relaxed after Therese gave the blonde’s hip bone a light squeeze. 

Shortly after the excitement cooled down, both women decided to call it a night and head home. They stepped in the guest room to wake up Rindy but the little girl began to whine and turned herself to the other side of the bed. 

“C’mon Rin, wake up. Let’s go home,” whispered Therese as she gently shook Rindy.

“You can let her sleep here,” offered Abby. 

“I’m not sure—” 

“Do you want to carry her like this all the way upstairs to your apartment? Plus she has a set of pajamas and her toothbrush here.”

“Alright then,” agreed Carol. “Call us when she wakes up and we’ll come to get her.”

“Yes, don’t worry. Now go.”

* * *

When both women finally arrived home, they headed straight to their bedroom. Therese could feel her eyelids getting heavier but she wanted to talk to Carol right away, and not leave things for later. She watched as Carol sat down at the end of the bed and took off her heels. She looked tired. 

“Carol, I—”

“I need to tell you something first,” Carol interrupted looking up at her with tired and worried eyes. “Sit, please?” she asked, patting at the empty spot next to her on the bed.

Therese followed her request. Her heart started to beat faster as her nerves grew stronger as she waited for Carol to start talking. 

“Tonight at Abby’s—” she began with difficulty, her voice trembling a little. “When I saw you holding that baby I… I remembered something.”

“Oh God, Carol,” Therese gasped as she gently put a hand on Carol’s affected arm. “What was it?”

“I saw this image of you and me looking at some newborn babies.”

“Yes, that was at the hospital. It was the day your mother passed away,” explained Therese, looking at Carol as she tried to hold her tears back. 

“You looked so happy…” Carol trailed off as she looked down and stayed quiet for a moment. “Do you hate me, Therese?” she asked in a broken whisper. 

Therese was so taken aback by the question that she took her hand off Carol’s arm and took it to her chest. She had a million thoughts running through her head. Of course, she didn’t hate her. How could Carol ask her that? No, she loved her, and she’d always do so no matter if Carol remembered her or not. Her love was big enough for the two of them. 

The seconds that Therese spent without uttering a word made Carol look up at her once more. Therese saw tears running down her face and without thinking a second longer she held Carol’s face with one hand before she bent forwards and crushed her lips on hers. She held Carol’s upper lip between hers for a few heartbeats but when she felt no reaction from Carol, she pulled away. She was halfway when suddenly Carol held her from the neck and kissed her, this time with a forceful passion. She felt the tip of Carol’s tongue probing inside her mouth, shyly asking for permission which Therese granted without hesitation. Their tongues soon began to dance around the same fire that had been long dead but was finally brought back to life after so long. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... do you love me again now?? I hope this helped quench that need for something to happen between them, haha! I'm very happy with this one, and I hope you are too :)
> 
> I feel like I'm always repeating myself at this part, but I really want to thank you all each time for your support! 
> 
> PS: tomorrow (August 6) is my birthday. Your comments would be my present :)


	22. Chapter 22

The kiss felt different. Although Carol had reciprocated the kiss passionately, Therese could sense a dash of hesitation and tension coming from the blonde as the kiss progressed. It also felt a bit messy as if Carol didn’t know how to respond correctly to it, holding herself back. Therese could tell this wasn’t like any of the previous kisses she and Carol had shared in the past; kisses that had that sense of familiarity and belonging to one another. No, this one definitely felt fresh and anew in some way, almost like a first kiss that filled Therese with excitement. 

“Did I answer your question—” Therese said after she broke the kiss to catch her breath, her face inches away from Carol’s, “...or do you want me to try again?” she asked looking straight into those darkened and cloudy blue eyes. 

“Try again…” breathed Carol in a hitched voice.

Therese resumed the kiss, only this time she wanted to take her time and be more delicate and tender. She held Carol’s face with both hands and began to place soft peck kisses on Carol’s lips which continued down her jawline and her partially exposed neck. Not satisfied with this, Therese pushed Carol’s turtleneck further down with one hand while she brushed back some blonde hairs with the other one to have more access to the blonde’s exquisitely soft neck. With eyes still closed, Carol bent her head slightly to the side to grant Therese a better angle, just like a defenseless victim offering her neck to a vampire to drink from it. Therese took the blonde’s offering and began to alternate between kissing and sucking, feeling Carol’s pulse quicken under her tongue. Therese could feel her own heartbeats become faster as her desire grew stronger. Her body thirsty for Carol was screaming for some contact, so Therese slid her hand down Carol’s chest pushing aside the half-opened jacket as her fingertips slowly trailed down the curve of Carol’s breast. The thin fabric of Carol’s shirt allowed Therese to notice with her touch how the blonde’s nipple had hardened giving the brunette a jolt of excitement between her thighs. Therese sensed the sudden change in Carol’s breathing as she continued assaulting her neck. Her hand continued its journey south and reached the waistline of Carol’s pants. With quick and skilled fingers, Therese started to pull the shirt and slipped her hand underneath it. She was desperate to touch Carol, to feel her skin melt down, and to become one with hers. She couldn’t contain a moan when her fingertips came in contact with Carol’s warm skin, and she could swear she heard Carol do the same. Feeling confident by this, she ventured her hand a bit higher and when she was about to rich the hem of the blonde’s bra, Carol pushed back. 

“Stop…” Carol managed to utter between heavy breaths as she held Therese from her shoulder. 

Therese immediately sat back up pulling her hand from underneath Carol’s shirt. She looked at Carol with scared and still lustful eyes.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked with a concerned tone, fearing she had leaned herself too hard on Carol’s injured arm.

“No, you didn’t,” replied Carol as she looked down at her hand now resting on her lap. “It’s just that… I can’t, not like this,” she said looking down at her damaged arm. “I’m sorry,” she added looking up at Therese again with sorry eyes.

“Oh, Carol,” Therese whispered as she took Carol’s hand in hers. “Don’t be. I’m the one who should apologize for not thinking straight, my body took control over me.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to,” she said with a shy smile. “I don’t feel ready. I—”

“We’ll take it as slow as you need,” she told her caressing the blonde’s face. “Carol, I know how you’re feeling.”

“Wh—what do you mean?” asked Carol, taken a little by surprise.

“I heard you talking to Abby… about me.” Therese made a pause to give Carol a moment to take in her words. The blonde opened her mouth in shock but didn’t say a word. Therese grabbed her hand again before she continued. “It’s OK, Carol. I’m sure this whole situation must be so darn confusing, not understanding your own feelings. I remember feeling so confused with my feelings for you because I didn’t know something like that could exist between two women. My head kept telling me that it was wrong, but my heart said otherwise,” Therese watched as Carol’s opened mouth closed to form a smile. “I know this is different but I want you to know that I’m here with you to support you in every step of the way. If you let me…”

“Of course I want you to,” replied Carol with watery eyes. “I just don’t want to hurt you with my doubts and insecurities again, and these feelings I don’t know how to explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Carol. I’m aware that we’re standing at opposite sides of the same line. My heart is like a sand clock already filled by all the time we spent together, while yours was just turned over and it’s starting to fill up again. We’ll figure it out together.”

“You’re so young and yet you have so much wisdom in you,” she confessed as she freed her hand to gently caress Therese’s cheek with the back of it. “No surprise I fell for you,” she added before kissing Therese lovingly. 

After Therese helped Carol take off her jacket, she gathered her things and headed to the other bathroom to change and get ready for bed. She needed to let her still heated body cool down a bit before sharing the bed with Carol, especially now since things had improved between them. She made a last stop at the kitchen to grab a glass of water before she made it back to the bedroom. She almost dropped her glass on the floor when she found Carol lying on her side of the bed, her head propped on her good arm looking at her.

“I thought this was a better arrangement,” she explained with a flirty smile.

And she was right. If Carol slept on Therese’s side, her damaged arm and the pillow she used wouldn’t be in the middle of them creating a gap. The idea of being able to curl up closer to Carol made Therese fill with joy.

“But we can change back if you prefer—”

“No, no,” interrupted Therese as she walked up to Carol’s side and placed down her glass. “I like it better this way,” she added with a smile as she got inside the bed. 

She noticed that Carol had grabbed some cushions from the couch and had placed them on the other side of the bed for support for her arm which meant Therese could sleep with both her pillows. She waited until Carol lay down on her back and settled in comfortably before Therese turned around and turned the light off. Before she closed her eyes, she searched for Carol’s hand and brought it towards her to hold on to through the night.

* * *

The next morning, Therese was woken up with soft strokes across her cheek. She was sleeping face down with half her face covered by her hair. She stayed with her eyes closed pretending to still be asleep just to keep feeling Carol’s touch as she brushed away her hair. Only when Carol finished her task, did Therese turn on her back and slowly open her eyes. Carol was sitting propped up against the pillows and she looked at Therese with a smile.

“Did Abby call?” asked Therese, before she let out a yawn and stretched herself. 

“Yes.”

“Oh, alright,” replied Therese as she struggled to sit up on the bed. “I’ll go get ready then.”

“Therese…” whispered Carol, holding Therese by her arm. Therese turned her head to look at the blonde with sleepy eyes. “She said that she’s going to drop off Rindy in the afternoon.”

“Ooohhh, that’s so nice of her,” she mused before she gave Carol a playful smile.

“Yes, very nice...and convenient,” joked Carol returning the same perky smile. “Good morning by the way.” 

“Good morning,” replied Therese as she got closer to Carol’s face not taking her eyes off her. But suddenly, something got her attention. “Oh no.”

“What happened?” 

“There’s a small red mark on your neck,” admitted Therese as she bit her lip.

“You devil…,” Carol murmured as she tickled Therese’s side. “What do you want to do until then?”

“Uhm, I’m not sure. We could just stay in bed and talk or—” offered Therese unable to come up with better plans.

“Sounds perfect.”

“Ok,” Therese grinned. “I’ll go get us some breakfast in bed.”

Therese returned to bed with a tray containing coffee mugs, toast, jelly, and fruit. She wanted to prepare something more special but at the same time, she didn’t want to keep Carol waiting too long, so she opted to go with something quicker. She could always try harder with lunch. They finished breakfast quite fast, barely talking and just stealing glances at each other. The weather outside was more than inviting for them to stay warm in bed and curl up watching a movie, so that’s what they did. Carol turned on the TV and searched through the channels until she ended up picking the news channel to get updated on what was going on. That was something that Carol always did, so it didn’t come as a surprise to Therese; but things had definitely changed since Carol last remembered, especially in the political scene with the last elections. Therese, on the other hand, curled up next to Carol, rested her head on the blonde’s chest as she just enjoyed the feeling of being in Carol’s arms again. Carol started to draw lazy circles on Therese’s shoulder as she watched the TV.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she fumed.

“I know. But what’s even worse is seeing you going through this disappointment twice,” Therese observed nonchalantly and was therefore surprised when Carol started to laugh at her comment. 

Therese then started to play with Carol’s fingers resting on her chest. She observed that the blonde’s nails weren’t only long but also natural, her trademark [red polish](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/62/b4/31/62b43182e0b7b20d0c030ed5c27c72c0.jpg) missing. Therese loved those red nails; they had been one of the first things she had noticed in Carol, after her red lips of course. Therese knew how much Carol liked to take care of her appearance, her nails being part of it; but in her current situation that wasn’t something she could afford, not on her own. Therese got an idea. 

“I’ll be right back,” she told Carol as she jumped out of bed.

She came back a few minutes later with a plastic bowl which she filled with warm water. She grabbed the manicure kit, a moisturizer cream, a towel, and Carol’s favorite red nail polish and brought everything back to bed. 

“What’s all that?” questioned Carol looking at the stuff on the bed.

“I’m going to give you a manicure. Give me your hand,” she demanded not taking no for an answer.

Carol looked at Therese with frowned eyebrows but they were quickly followed by a smirk. The blonde extended her good hand which Therese took in hers with care. 

Therese started with Carol’s good hand, letting it rest in the warm water a few minutes before she dried it and began to work on them. She first removed the cuticle, then she proceeded to cut and file each nail; she repeated the same process on the other hand. While she worked on Carol’s hands with dedication, the blonde asked her about different aspects of her life, almost like one of those online quizzes to get to see how well you know your partner. Therese answered each question with honesty and a hint of melancholia as she remembered certain moments she and Carol had experienced together, like their first date. Carol, on the other hand, seemed to be engrossed in Therese’s replies as if she were trying to remember them. Once she finished with the nail grooming, she continued with the nail polish. Since she wasn’t a professional, she tried extra hard to stay within the limits of the nail but still, she missed. This part required more concentration so both women stayed in silence, Carol looking closely at Therese’s moves. 

“Done!” Therese exclaimed once she finished with both hands. She looked at Carol with a proud dimple smile.

“They look beautiful,” Carol beamed admiring the work Therese had done. 

“I’ll do your feet next.”

“Oh no, they look awful and disgu—”

“They don’t!” replied Therese holding Carol firmly by one of her legs under the covers. “It’s not like I haven’t seen them or touched them before you know…” she added with a raised brow. 

Carol opened her mouth to say something but she didn’t. Therese could notice the faintest sign of blushing on the blonde’s face. She didn’t wait for a reply, so she got up and filled the bowl with fresh warm water. She came back to the bed and this time she placed the bowl on the floor next to Carol’s side. The blonde pushed the covers aside, slipped out her feet to place them inside the bowl on the floor, and let them sit for a few minutes. Therese grabbed a moisturizing cream and began to give Carol a foot massage before she started with the nails. She watched closely as the blonde closed her eyes, tilted her head against the headboard, and relaxed to Therese’s hands. Shortly after, Therese began to work on Carol’s feet with the same dedication she had with her hands. At one point, Therese with her eyes cast down could feel Carol’s stare upon her.

“What?” she simply asked Carol, looking up at her.

“Nothing,” replied Carol, keeping a smile on her face.

“Say it or I’ll tickle you,” she threatened as she held Carol’s foot firmly. 

“You wouldn’t dare…”

Therese started to tickle the blonde’s sole making her immediately laugh as she tried to free her foot from Therese’s grip. 

“Stop— please— I can’t,” she begged between laughs. 

Therese stopped but kept her hand around Carol’s ankle. 

“Are you telling now?” she asked.

“Fine,” said Carol as she tried to collect herself. “I was just thinking… how did I get so lucky to find you? I opened my eyes and there you were, like a ray of light.”

Now it was Therese’s time to remain silent. She felt her heart growing inside of her, butterflies flying wild in her stomach. She gave Carol’s ankle a warm squeeze in response before she got back to work thinking  _ I’m the lucky one. _

Therese started to tidy up the nail grooming tools back to its case and she folded the towel she had used to keep the bedcovers clean. 

“Come here,” said Carol, interrupting Therese from her task. 

She crawled and kneeled in front of the blonde. Carol grabbed her from her neck, pushed Therese closer, and gave her a lingering kiss. 

“I’m not sure if you accept that as a payment method…” whispered Carol in a deep voice.

“Actually, I do but I’m afraid that the payment declined. Try again,” she flirted back. 

* * *

By the time they finally made it out of bed, it was already past 1:00 PM. Therese prepared omelets for lunch and they waited for Abby and Rindy to show up. They arrived an hour later, Abby sent them a text to give them a heads up.

“Hey there, Therese,” greeted Abby when the brunette opened the door still in her pajamas. 

“Hi, mommy,” said Rindy, hugging Therese.

“Hello, you two. Did you have a good time?” Therese asked looking at Rindy and then at Abby.

“We did!” exclaimed Rindy with a grin.

“Hi Abby,” greeted Carol stepping closer to the door. “Thank you for bringing Rindy back,” she added as she caressed the little girl’s head.

“No problem at all. I see that things are better between you two,” she pointed out as she stroked a finger down the side of her neck, a mischievous grin painted on her face.

Carol got the message immediately as she tried to cover her neck with the collar of her robe. Therese looked down to her feet to hide her blushed cheeks. 

“Is it true? You’re no longer mad at each other?” questioned Rindy, looking at both women expectantly. 

“No, we’re not,” answered Carol with a smile. 

She extended her hand which Therese took in hers, and brought the brunette closer to her. She looked at those green eyes for a few seconds before she gave Therese a peck on the lips. 

“Yaaaaayyy!” cheered Rindy as she watched the kiss between Carol and Therese. She quickly wrapped her arms around both women. “We’re a family again.”

“Rin,” began Therese holding Rindy’s face with both hands. “We’ll always be a family, no matter what. We can get mad, but we’ll still love each other, ok?”

Rindy nodded in agreement. Carol wrapped her arm around Therese’s waist and rested her head on the brunette’s shoulder.

“Ugh, you’re all too sweet. I better leave,” joked Abby making everyone laugh, as she always did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! Well... how do we feel after this fluff and smut overload?? I thought I really owed it to you after all the drama and hurt from the last chapters, hehe! I had a nice time writing it, to the point that I thought it was too much, just like Abby at the end. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and/or ideas for what you want to happen next! I don't want the story to end yet, so ideas are more than welcome! 
> 
> Thank you to Ansi as always for beta reading! 
> 
> I love you all!


	23. Chapter 23

With the winter holidays coming to an end, a new dynamic took place at the Belivet-Ross household. Given that Carol’s current condition still didn’t allow her to drive, Therese was now the one in charge to take Rindy to school in the mornings, and pick her up later in the day. The first couple of days after school had returned were quite smooth which allowed them to get used to the new schedule without too much stress. Both Carol and Therese would wake up in the morning, with Carol waking up Rindy and helping her change as much as she could while Therese prepared breakfast. Then, Therese would drive Rindy to school, and return back home to Carol until it was time to pick up Rindy again. 

Therese had also spent the last few days worrying about going back to work. She was unsure if she would be able to handle schedules and long-lasting photoshoot sessions since she would no longer have the whole day free as she used to. She knew that most jobs would require her to work long hours and always be available for last-minute calls. But at the same time, she was aware that she had a job that wasn’t like any other full-time job with fixed working hours; and usually, each photoshoot would take a few days to complete. She had called Mark the previous week to let him know that she wanted to get back to work but at the same time, she explained to him her current situation with Carol and how things had changed. All this would be temporary for sure, but she couldn’t tell exactly when things would go back to normal. At first, Therese had feared that he wouldn’t want to keep her in the studio because of her tight schedule; and she would have totally understood his decision if he said no to her but luckily he had been very supportive and understanding and said that he didn’t want to let his best photographer go. He had also mentioned that he would be hiring a new assistant to help them with big jobs like the one that was coming up in a few days. The photoshoot was going to be for a well-known makeup brand launching a new collection. Therese wasn’t the biggest makeup enthusiast but she knew the brand and the face behind it was making her feel already nervous about it. Nonetheless, she was more than excited to get back to work and to what made her feel her most creative self. These last couple of weeks had felt somewhat strange to Therese for very different reasons. She and Carol were still trying to figure out their relationship but at least together they were taking short steps forwards and not backwards. Neither of them knew when things would get back to what they used to be but Therese just couldn’t stay home waiting for it to happen. Despite money not being an issue since Carol had received part of her mother’s will money, Therese wanted to feel productive again. She missed their old routine but at the same time, she was happy and thankful to still be able to enjoy her family. 

* * *

A couple of days later, Carol and Therese were on their way to the doctor for a check-up. It had just been a month since Carol had the accident, and only about three weeks since she had regained consciousness and her amnesia had been detected. Although the recovery process, not just of Carol’s memory but also her arm, would be slow, Therese was hopeful that everything would be alright. Still, she couldn’t help feeling nervous when she stepped into the hospital. The few times she had been there had been so hard and traumatic that she had surely developed a fear of it. After announcing themselves at the front desk, they sat down in one of the empty rows of chairs in the waiting room. Therese tried to play it cool and not let her nerves show by sitting back with her arms crossed focusing on the art pieces hanging on the walls but the way she kept tapping the heel of her foot against the floor said otherwise. 

“Therese—” whispered Carol, placing her hand on Therese’s moving leg.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, stopping her movement. “It’s just that hospitals make me nervous.”

“It’s OK. They make me nervous, too,” Carol said with a smile. “Everything will be fine, I promise.”

“I know, I’m sorry—”

“CAROL ROSS,” interrupted a male voice a few feet away from them. 

Both women got up and walked towards the man standing by the door. He was the same doctor who had treated Carol during her stay.

“Hi Carol, nice to see you,” he greeted when they walked inside the room. “I’m so sorry, I don’t remember your name,” he apologized, looking at Therese.

“It’s Therese,” she replied with a shy smile. 

“Of course, Therese. I’m glad to see you both here,” he said as he sat down behind his desk. How are we doing?” he asked looking at Carol.

“Hmmm, fine I guess you could say. I wish I was fully recovered already.”

“Everything at its own time. How’s your memory?” he asked as he turned to his computer and began to write.

“I have remembered very few things,” began Carol. “Some of them are just images and others are like brief sequences, like snippets from a movie. I also see things when I dream but it’s hard to distinguish if they actually happened or not.”

“Well, that’s when you, Therese, need to step in and help Carol know,” he pointed out looking at Therese with a look that wasn’t judging, it was more like understanding. Therese nodded in response. “Family support is key in this healing process, and can make a big difference in the speed of the recovery.” 

“Of course,” whispered Carol as she looked down on her lap. “We—”

“We had a little bit of a rough start but we’re on the same page now,” quickly added Therese. Both women looked at each other as Therese grabbed Carol’s hand and gave it a warm squeeze. 

“Understandable. Do you have any trouble sleeping?” continued the doctor.

“No, not at all.”

“Good. Research has shown that sleep not only plays a very important role in different aspects of our health, but it can give our brain cells a chance to heal. So in your case, Carol, sleep can heal those parts of your brain that are still affected by the trauma suffered from the accident. Any headaches?” he continued asking as he typed in his computer. 

“No.”

“Good. If you notice any changes in your sleep or pain, don’t hesitate to come back. Now, let’s check that shoulder,” he said as he got up and walked to the examining bed behind them. 

Both women followed them. Therese helped Carol sit on the bed and let the blonde remove the sling herself. Knowing that the doctor would need to examine her shoulder closely, Carol had picked a button-up shirt and a warm cardigan to make it easier to undress. Therese helped Carol remove the sleeve of her cardigan from the affected side only and buttoned-down her shirt. The doctor then proceeded to feel the area around the clavicle with expert hands, asking Carol if she felt any pain as he did so. Then, he held Carol’s arm by the elbow and proceeded to move the arm carefully to evaluate the range of movement and level of pain. Carol winced a couple of times during the test but it seemed that she was tolerating the pain much better. 

“Alright,” said the doctor as he let go of Carol’s arm. Therese helped her to dress up again as they continued to listen to the doctor. “It’s looking better. There’s no inflammation and there’s little tenderness over the fracture.”

“What about the sling? Do I still have to sleep in it?” asked Carol.

“Keep the sling at night for at least another two weeks. I’ll need you to come back in three weeks to perform another radiography to check if the clinical union has started to form around the fracture or not. After that, we’ll see if we can start with some range of motion and strengthening exercises. Alright?”

“Yes,” replied both women at the same time.

“And be patient. The more you let your mind relax, the better it will be,” he said looking at Carol.

“Understood,” she replied with a smile.

They left the hospital in much better spirits knowing that Carol was slowly but surely getting better. Therese suggested to go have brunch and pass the time around downtown before they picked Rindy up. As soon as Therese began to drive, she got an idea of where to go but she didn’t tell Carol. Some minutes passed until the blonde asked where they were going. 

“It’s a surprise,” replied Therese, giving her a side smile without taking her eyes from the road. 

A couple more minutes later, Therese parked her car in front of the photography school building that both of them had attended. 

“I remember this,” said Carol looking out the window. “But I don’t work here anymore,” she added looking back at Therese with a confused look.

“I know. I just wanted to look at it with you. This is where we actually met, where we got to talk for the first time and work together. I still remember how hard it was to hide my feelings for you, you know because you worked there and I was a student, but those were some of the best times of my life here.”

Carol turned herself towards Therese and caressed the brunette’s cheek before Carol bent forward and placed a soft kiss on Therese’s lips.

Therese started the car again and drove another three blocks until they arrived at their destination. 

“We’re here,” she said once they stood outside the car looking at a coffee shop building. “This is where you took me out for the first time. You said you wanted to thank me for returning your gloves but I’m pretty sure it was a date,” confessed Therese, giving Carol a cheeky smile.

“I’m most probably guilty of that,” Carol answered with a wink.

Once inside, they ordered something to drink and eat. Therese wanted to sit at the same table they did the first time but unfortunately, it was already taken. While they ate, Therese recalled parts of their last time there.

“And you were wearing that fur coat that you no longer wear and my heart did a somersault when I saw you. I wanted to hold your hand so badly but I couldn’t.”

“We can now,” said Carol stretching her hand across the table to hold Therese’s.

“Yes, we can,” she breathed trying to hold back a tear. 

So much had changed since the last time they were sitting at that same place it almost felt like everything they had been through had happened to someone else, or she had watched it in a movie. Therese had chosen that coffee place, in particular, to help Carol with her memory but it was also helping Therese see how much she had grown as an individual. Therese was no longer the naive and inexperienced student who didn’t know what to order for lunch; now she was a wife, a mother, and an aspiring photographer with a promising future. And she still had those same piercing blue eyes staring back at her.

* * *

After they finished brunch, Therese mentioned that she would like to buy some new clothes for the photoshoot the next day since she wanted to look her very best. With Carol’s approval, they both headed to the nearest shopping mall next. As expected, there were a lot of people doing their shopping wandering around and going up and down the stairs making them look like tiny busy ants in a farm. That was the reason why Therese avoided these types of places as much as possible and preferred to shop online. Carol, on the other hand, had always enjoyed a good shopping mall spree, especially around the holidays when it was the craziest, giving her a sort of adrenaline boost. But that day, Therese knew something was off with Carol judging by the way that she barely paid attention to the clothes displayed behind glasses or to the brunette next to her. Therese attempted to hold the blonde’s hand but she kept it tight around her purse. Not wanting to prolong Carol’s discomfort for too long, Therese chose the first affordable clothes store she saw and walked them there. She quickly picked a pair of black pants and jeans, and two knitted sweaters in gray and caramel colors. She asked Carol to go with her to the changing room and wait outside while she changed. Once Therese had put the pants on, she stuck her head through the curtains.

“Hey, I need your help,” Therese told Carol who was looking at her phone.

Without saying a word, Carol stepped in as she was told. She barely got a chance to look down at Therese’s pants when the brunette pinned Carol against the changing room’s wall, held the blonde’s face with both hands, and kissed her without warning. Therese could notice Carol’s tense body quickly giving in to the kiss. 

“There you are,” whispered Therese after breaking the kiss and looking into the blonde’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” replied Carol trying to look convincing.

“I know something’s off. Tell me.”

“Nothing… I’m just tired that’s all.”

Therese stared at her without saying anything knowing that there was more.

“Alright, I feel a little overwhelmed by all those people. There’s a lot going on at the same time.”

“And why didn’t you tell me before?” 

“I didn’t want to keep you from buying what you needed. You have a big day tomorrow and I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Carol, you won’t. Your well-being is more important. You need to tell me when you’re not feeling comfortable, OK?”

“OK.”

“I’m going to change back—”

“Don’t. I want to see what you picked,” Carol requested with a smile. 

Therese tried on the sweaters that went together well with the black pants as expected. Carol complimented her choices and expressed how good they looked on her making Therese slightly blush. When it was time to try the jeans, she didn’t hesitate to take the pants off in front of Carol. It didn’t feel awkward, it felt like two friends having a good time shopping and kissing in changing rooms. 

* * *

Later that afternoon, the three of them settled in the living room; Carol sat with Rindy on the couch and Therese sat on the floor with her laptop on top of the coffee table. While Carol helped Rindy with her Maths homework, Therese went over the notes and directions the makeup brand had sent for the photoshoot the following day. The brand had also sent in pictures from the different items included in the new collection for Therese to work around. It would be her first time working with makeup but she was very excited to play with the colorful pigments shown in the pictures. She was also excited to be working with an assistant who she knew very little about; Mark had only mentioned her name and that they had worked together in the past. She just hoped they’d get along well. 

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” asked Carol, sitting across from her.

“Uhm, yes. I never met anyone  _ famous  _ before,” confessed Therese and just that thought gave her a shiver down the spine. 

“Can you bring back some makeup for me?” asked Rindy looking up from her notebook.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” replied Therese.

“Since when are you interested in makeup, young lady?” inquired Carol with a cheeky tone.

“It’s all over Youtube, mom,” replied Rindy matter-of-factly. “I want to be as good as Nikkie.”

“Like who?” asked Carol with a confused face.

“She does amazing makeup tutorials,” explained Therese as she smiled at Rindy.

“Oh, so you know her, too. I’m the uncool one here,” protested Carol with pouty lips. 

“I’ve done my research,” replied Therese, winking at the blonde.

After they finished dinner, Carol took Rindy to bed. Although Rindy was getting better with her reading skills, she still enjoyed being read to before going to sleep and Carol seemed to enjoy it even more. Meanwhile, Therese was in her darkroom cleaning her camera lenses with care and making sure she had her bag ready for tomorrow. While she was at her task, she had put on a playlist on her phone to help her relax. Therese was cleaning the last one of the lenses when the song “Young and Beautiful” by Lana del Rey came on.

“This song—” suddenly said Carol, making Therese jump. “I’ve heard it before,” she continued as she took a few steps towards Therese.

“I’m sure you have. It’s very popular,” replied Therese nonchalantly as she put the lens back in the bag.

“No, not like that. I remember it from our wedding,” replied Carol looking into Therese’s eyes with blue watery eyes.

Therese closed the gap between them and placed one hand on Carol’s cheek as she smiled back at her barely able to contain her happiness. Every time Carol remembered something it made Therese feel more hopeful, and this new memory filled her with extra joy. Therese wrapped her arms tightly around Carol and laid her head on the blonde’s chest and began to sway to the song. Carol followed her moves. They danced until the song came to an end. 

_ Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful? _

_ Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful? _

_ Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful? _

Therese looked up and saw a tear rolling down Carol’s face.

“Will you?” Carol asked in a whisper.

“What?” 

“Will you still love me when I’m— when I no longer look like this?”

“Carol, what are you even saying?”

“I’m getting older, Therese. I’m going to turn 40 and —”

“And?” inquired Therese with a serious look. “What does that have to do with anything? That doesn’t change my feelings for you.”

“You think that now because you’re still young but—”

“I’m not going to have this argument  _ again _ , Carol,” said Therese in a firm tone, removing herself from the embrace and taking a step back. “I know that’s not how you really feel. We were over this discussion. We have plans for the future together that you don’t remember but I—,” Therese barely managed to say in a broken voice. She took a deep breath before she continued. “I’m going to take a shower and go to sleep before my big day tomorrow,” she added as she walked towards the door leaving Carol just standing there and not waiting for a reply. 

Therese didn’t want to argue with Carol over their age gap once more. During the time they had spent together, Therese had shown Carol that her feelings for her were pure and unconditional, and no age difference between them would change that. Therese left the room with a heavy heart. She thought this wouldn’t be an issue anymore but she now realized that these insecurities regarding Carol’s age would always be in the back of the blonde’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for not posting last week. I haven't been feeling well lately and I needed to take some time off. I'm still not feeling well but I still managed to write. I apologize if it's not good enough.
> 
> Nikkie is Nikkietutotials on Youtube. She's so amazing and inspiring. 
> 
> Thank you Ansi for your photography tips and ideas as always.


	24. Chapter 24

The following morning neither of them uttered a word about what had transpired the previous night. By the time Therese had made it out of the bathroom, Carol had already turned off all of the lights except for Therese’s lamp; which was a clear invitation to leave things as they were for at least another day. Therese wasn’t too happy with the idea of going to sleep with this invisible but yet tangible tension between them and not trying to soften things out but she needed to rest her mind and body for the following day. 

The morning hustle to get Rindy ready for school didn’t leave much room for both women to exchange many words either as both women had to focus on their respective tasks ahead to make it on time. They did exchange a couple of silent looks as they had their quick breakfast; looks that were trying to seek for answers. Rindy was too sleepy as she usually was in the morning to notice the unspoken conversation happening between both women. 

Therese looked inside her camera bag for the hundredth time to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything before she headed to the door. Her nerves were starting to grow inside her stomach as each minute passed. 

“C’mon Rindy, let’s go!” she yelled at the girl, who had run back to her room to get the gym bag she had forgotten to grab. 

“I’m coming,” the little girl breathed a few seconds later as she ran back to Therese with the gym bag hanging from her shoulder. 

“Are you all set now, Rindy?” asked Carol, joining them by the door. 

“Yes. Bye, mom,” she hugged her mom goodbye. 

Therese watched as Carol hugged Rindy back, taking a few seconds longer to let go. Therese could easily imagine that the prospect of spending the next couple of hours on her own was already starting to weigh down on Carol. For as long as Therese had known Carol, she knew that the blonde enjoyed being surrounded by people, being at the center of any gathering, the heart of every party; quite the opposite to Therese. Carol had always kept herself busy with places to go or meetings to attend, never staying still for too long. She was the kind of force that left still for too long could potentially turn things upside down. The brunette knew how this current situation must be affecting Carol, even though the blonde didn’t express it. Carol was a social being by nature as well as stubbornly independent, and having to be locked inside away from that social life went against her grain. 

“I’ll have my phone with me all the time. Please call if you need anything,” Therese said as she draped her bag across her chest. Therese couldn’t help feeling worried about leaving Carol alone but the fact that it’d be for just a couple of hours gave Therese some peace of mind. 

“I’ll be OK. I can take care of myself. I’m not a child,” the blonde said with a shrug and a side look.

“I know. I didn’t mean it that way,” Therese defended herself giving the blonde a strong look. “Let’s go, Rin,” she added before she turned around to open the door, trying to not let those words affect her more than her nerves already were. She had just put her hand on the doorknob when a hand grabbed her by the arm.

“Wait,” whispered Carol tugging at Therese’s arm. The brunette turned herself half around and just looked at Carol. “I’m sorry,” apologized the blonde. “Have a great day at work. I’ll miss you,” she whispered before she placed a delicate kiss on Therese’s cheek too dangerously close to her mouth. 

It took Therese a few seconds to recover from that surprise kiss. She hadn’t anticipated it given how the morning had gone by. Therese could already feel a shy warmth flourishing on her cheeks; the all too familiar response to the fire that were Carol’s kisses. 

“I’ll miss you, too,” Therese managed to answer back with a smile. 

* * *

Therese arrived at the studio around 45 minutes before the photoshoot started. The plan she had for that day didn’t require that much of a setup since she had opted for a more simple one based on the makeup brand’s previous campaign shots she had as a reference. When she stepped inside the studio, she found Mark talking to a young woman who Therese assumed was the new assistant. Therese was immediately struck by the young woman’s curly brown long hair that she wore like a powerful mane. She was tall, slim, and had the perfect olive skin. She had a pair of green cargo pants and a black turtleneck on top. She looked very confident in the way she used her arms to speak and in the way she stood in the room. Therese took a deep breath before she continued to approach them.

“Hey, Therese!” Mark welcomed her with a wide smile. He put an arm around Therese when she stood next to him. “This is Lucía, our new assistant.”

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Therese greeted as she extended her hand. She then noticed the beautiful honey-colored eyes looking back at her.

“Hello,” she answered back with a beaming smile as she shook Therese’s hand warmly. Therese could already notice a faint accent from that brief interaction. 

“Lucía is from Spain,” Mark continued to explain. “She arrived here a few weeks ago. She has worked with some well-known names back in her country. And Therese here,” he said pointing with his head, “is one of the best photographers in town.”

“Mark, please don’t,” said Therese trying to brush off the compliment as her cheeks became warmer. 

“You are,” he argued back. “Anyway, I’m gonna let you two begin to work. Let me know if you need anything,” he said as he left.

“So,  _ Therese _ —” said Lucía once they were alone in her captivating accent. “Where’s that name from?”

“It’s from the Czech Republic. I was born there.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I’ve been to Prague a couple of times. It’s a beautiful city,” she said as she brushed her hair back with one hand. “Have you been to Spain?”

“No, I haven’t. Or anywhere else except here,” replied Therese feeling a little self-aware of her lack of knowledge of the world. 

They stayed in silence for a couple of seconds avoiding looking at each other. 

“It’s nice to meet another person with a beautiful accent,” said Lucia with a smile. 

“Yes. You’re right,” Therese laughed awkwardly. It was actually nice to be working with someone who, like Therese, came from another country and understood the challenges of being a foreigner in another one. “Shall we start?” 

Both women gathered around a table and began to go through Therese’s plan for that day’s shooting. They looked at the pictures that Therese had gathered for reference based on the brand’s past preferences and aesthetics. The new makeup launch consisted of an eyeshadow palette, blushes, and lipsticks. After they went through the plan, they quickly set up a white backdrop, two sets of lights, a stool with a table for the model to sit comfortably, and standing light reflectors on the front. Therese placed her camera on a tripod at eye level to where the model would be sitting down. Then, they ran some lighting tests to make sure everything was ready for when the face of the campaign arrived. As the scheduled time for the model and the hair and makeup team to arrive got closer, Therese started to feel more and more nervous, her stomach felt like an angry sea. Lucía, on the other hand, seemed to be calm and relaxed which made Therese feel even more nervous. Therese knew that she couldn’t let her nervousness show since it wouldn’t look too professional of her. She was the one in charge of the photoshoot after all, and being part of a team, she needed to keep herself together and be her most professional self. As a way to distract her mind, she took out her phone for the first time since she had arrived and didn’t find any new messages. She wondered what Carol would be doing alone at home so she sent her a quick text asking how she was doing and that she’d be starting with the shoot soon. She waited a couple of seconds for a reply but nothing happened. 

“Therese—” suddenly whispered Lucía. 

Therese looked up to her and saw how she made a gesture with her head pointing towards the door. Therese turned around to see the face of the campaign standing next to three other people. She got up quickly and walked towards the door. 

“Hi,” she barely managed to say as her nerves choked around her throat. She cleared her voice before she continued. “I’m Therese, the photographer,” she said thinking how silly it had sounded in her soft little voice. She didn’t extend her hand at first in fear that it would be too straightforward of her to do so but she was soon relieved when the model smiled back at her and stretched hers to greet her. 

While the hair and makeup team worked on the model, Therese and Lucía took a look at the makeup products they’d be working with later that day when they took the closeup shots. The collection looked and smelled expensive, the quality of the pigments in the palette was outstanding and Therese was already excited to play with the shimmers. The styling team didn’t take long to get the model ready to start the shoot. They would start with the five different lipsticks, swatching each shade on the model. Therese directed her to sit behind the table and Lucía was quick to adjust the light reflectors to best fit the shot. Therese took a couple of [shots of the model](https://www.fashiongonerogue.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Cara-Delevingne-Dior-Addict-Stellar-Halo-Shine-Lipstick-Campaign.jpg) alone wearing a classic red shade and then added the lipstick itself to the shot with the model holding it near her mouth. Therese stopped every few shots to check her computer and see how the images were coming along according to what she had planned. To her surprise, she had the approval of not just her assistant but also the styling team. With that extra pump of encouragement, Therese finally let go of her nerves and enjoyed the photoshoot. They repeated the same process for the remaining lipstick shades. Next, they changed to the eyeshadows. The makeup stylist did a simple but colorful eye look using the darker shades on the palette for a more dramatic look. Therese took [closeups](https://lkbkspro.s3.amazonaws.com/streeters/gs_56d0bccb-2d14-4e3a-9195-33b80a771fd0.jpg) of the eyes, playing with the reflecting shimmers. She got a strike of confidence and inspiration so Therese asked the makeup artist to swatch the three eyeshadow colors she had used on the model’s forearm to pose similarly to how she had done with the lipsticks. They did one last eye look with the more [neutral colors](https://www.fashiongonerogue.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/mac-cosmetics-mineralize-ad-photos1.jpg) and repeated the process.

They wrapped up the first part of the photoshoot quicker than Therese had expected, or maybe it was just the fact that she had such a good time that time had flown by as a result of that. Before everyone left, the model thanked Therese for everything and told her she had been a delight to work with. Therese couldn’t help feeling totally starstruck by the compliment coming from such a well-known face. When Therese turned around to face Lucía standing behind her, she couldn’t erase the big smile plastered on her face. 

“She’s right,” said Lucía.

“What do you mean?”

“About being a delight to work with,” she explained as she put both hands inside her back pockets.

Therese’s smile quickly disappeared, shifting to a surprised look.

“You’re very easy to work with, Therese. I’ve worked with some insufferable photographers, men of course, with huge egos—” Lucía recalled as she rolled up her eyes. “This was the first time that I felt comfortable. You’re not only talented but also humble,” said Lucía placing a hand on Therese’s arm and giving it a light squeeze. 

Therese stayed still, taken aback by the wave of compliments for her. She always felt a little uncomfortable when people praised or complimented her work since she never thought she was up to the level. No matter how much Mark, Carol, and other people told her how talented she was, she never let it get to her head. 

“I’ll go get the display ready,” interrupted Lucía’s voice bringing Therese back to the present, as she realised she hadn’t said anything back.

“Thank you,” she finally muttered with a smile. 

Lucía just nodded with her head and turned back around. They spent the rest of the time they had taking shots of the different products, setting them in different positions. Therese noticed that Lucía had a great skill with light and how to make the best of use of it. Therese barely had to direct her and was in fact learning from the other woman. 

“How are my girls doing?” asked Mark suddenly, as he joined them.

“Good, we’re almost done,” replied Therese. 

“You guys did amazing today. I already got some great feedback. I thought we could have a drink later to celebrate. What do you say?”

“Yes, I’d like that,” said Lucía excitedly. 

“What about you Therese?” she asked looking straight at her. 

Therese felt conflicted to say yes since she wanted to check in with Carol first. The blonde had replied to her text by just sending  _ good luck _ . But Mark was right, she did deserve to celebrate how great the day had been. 

“C´mon, you deserve it, T!”

“Alright,” she sighed with a playful smile. 

* * *

They agreed to meet around 6:00 PM for a happy hour at a bar not far away from the studio that belonged to one of Mark’s friends. Therese went to pick up Rindy from school and headed back home. Rindy stomped her way inside the apartment announcing their arrival. Therese took off her bag and coat and left them by the door before she made her way to the living room to search for Carol. She wasn’t there though. Therese called out Carol’s name but there was no response. She then made her way to their bedroom and found the blonde lying on the bed with her eyes closed and an opened book resting on her chest. Therese carefully sat next to Carol, grabbed the book, and placed it on the nightstand. She took a moment to watch Carol sleep; the way her chest rose and sunk back and her slightly parted lips faintly moved to let the air in and out. Therese could spend days, hours, or years just watching Carol sleep imagining what dreams she was dreaming and hoping she was in every one of them. 

“Carol,” she whispered as she bent forwards and brushed off some hairs that had fallen on the blonde’s face. She repeated the motion a few more times until the blonde showed signs of waking up. 

“You’re back,” said the blonde in a raspy voice as she sat up.

“How was your day? Did you eat?” asked Therese, placing a hand on the blonde’s leg.

“Very uneventful. And yes, I did eat something. How was work?”

“It was great. The photoshoot went very well,” said Therese with excitement all over her face. 

“And how was the new assistant?”

“She was amazing actually. She knows a lot. Her name’s Lucía and she’s from Spain.”

“Oh, how interesting,” expressed Carol with a tint of suspicion in her voice. 

“Mark invited us to a bar to celebrate. I already said yes to them but if you want me to stay I’ll cancel—”

“Oh, don’t cancel because of me,” she scoffed as she brushed some hairs back. “You’re free to do what you want, Therese.”

“I just wanted to make sure—”

“Go, Therese,” said Carol with a softer tone this time. “Enjoy your night,” she added with a small smile.

Therese couldn’t help feeling a little pang of guilt in her stomach for leaving Carol alone again despite having her approval. She knew Carol wouldn’t ask her to stay even if she wanted her to. Therese got up but before she turned away she bent over the blonde and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. 

She showered quickly and changed into a pair of dark jeans, a plain white shirt, and a bomber jacket on top. 

* * *

Therese arrived a few minutes late at the bar but was glad to see Lucía and Mark already sitting at one of the high tables with drinks in hand. She apologized for arriving late before taking a seat and immediately called a waiter to order her first drink. They quickly got into a comfortable conversation with Mark talking about the history of the studio, upcoming projects, and exhibitions. He didn’t miss the chance to mention that he was still waiting for Therese to finally decide to do an exhibition with her work to which Therese replied by saying that nobody would attend.

“I would. Count me in!” replied Lucía giving Therese a wink. She was wearing a mustard-colored shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a couple of buttons undone that exposed more of that perfect looking olive skin. Her natural and vibrant beauty stood out in the crowd. 

Therese took a sip from her cocktail to avoid having to look at her. 

“I’m sorry ladies, but I have to go,” said Mark looking down at his phone.

“Is everything OK?” asked Therese, relieved for the shift in the mood.

“Yes, just family duty. Anyway, keep enjoying yourselves. See you tomorrow, girls.” 

With Mark’s departure, Therese felt the pressure of no longer having someone doing most of the talking for her. She had always been in Carol’s shadow when it came to these kinds of situations, relying on her social skills. But now it was just her and she didn’t want to come across as unfriendly, especially given that they’d be continuing to work together. 

“What brought you here?” asked Therese after a couple of seconds trying to keep the conversation alive. “To this country I mean.”

“This is going to sound so cliché but I needed to break free,” she replied, playing with her drink. “The gypsy blood in me won’t let me stay in the same place for too long,” she said with a playful smile. “But also because of a heartbreak.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine now. Tell me about you, Therese,” she said looking down at Therese’s hand with her wedding ring on. “What’s his name?”

“ _ Her _ name is Carol,” she answered as she looked into those honey-colored eyes.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry,” she apologized, taking a hand to her chest in a sign of shame. 

“It’s OK. It happens,” said Therese playing it down.

“I should know better. We have another thing in common. To women!” she said, raising her glass with a wide smile.

“To women,” Therese echoed back as she raised her glass.

Therese told her about how she and Carol had met which never failed to fill Therese with happiness and pride every time she did. She then took out her phone to show Lucía the pictures of Carol and Rindy. 

“She’s gorgeous, Therese,” were Lucía’s words when her eyes fell on the pictures Therese had taken of Carol which filled her with pride. Therese would never understand how Carol could ever doubt her beauty seeing how people always reacted when they saw the blonde.

Next, Lucía told Therese of her trips around the world and how she had visited every continent in the last couple of years. She showed Therese her Instagram account dedicated to every location she had visited which was full of beautiful pictures. Therese couldn’t help feeling a little jealous of Lucía and all the things she had managed to achieve being only a few years older than her. Therese also wanted to travel the world and be able to photograph different cultures and their people. She was lucky to live in one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world but still, it wasn’t the same. She sighed and hoped she could figure this out at some point. 

Time had flown by between drinks and laughs and three hours later Therese was on her way back home. She could begin to feel the tiredness in her body but her brain was still lit with the excitement that had been brought on by the photoshoot and the couple of drinks she had. When Therese stepped inside, she could hear the noise from the TV coming from the living room. She grabbed her bag containing her camera and computer and headed towards the room. There, sitting on the couch was Carol already in her pajamas. She turned off the TV when Therese appeared. 

“You’re still up,” said Therese and noticed how silly that sounded. 

“I wanted to wait until you came back. Did you have fun?”

“Yes, we had a good time,” Therese replied with a smile.

They stayed in silence for a few seconds. Carol was looking at her as if she was waiting for Therese to elaborate more. 

“Alright,” Carol said as she got up and walked towards Therese. “Are you coming to bed?” she asked, placing a hand on Therese’s shoulder. 

“Yes, in a bit. I need to check some last things for tomorrow.”

Carol just nodded and walked away.

Therese set her computer on the coffee table as she usually did. She found sitting on the floor oddly more comfortable and relaxing than any other place. She went through the pictures she had taken that day, still amazed at how great they had come out. She could already tell which ones would make the final cut and get picked for the campaign before she had even started to edit them. She couldn’t wait to start working on them knowing how much better they would turn out. Half an hour later, she was still making some notes on the moodboard for the following day with corrections and new things to try based on what she had observed from these pictures. As she was at it, she remembered one of the pictures Lucía had shown her of her trip to [Tokyo](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e0/f4/f7/e0f4f7536f6f43ea4e0131460231d9b9.jpg). The picture had caught Therese’s attention because of its lighting and colors. She logged in to her Instagram page and clicked on Lucía’s profile to find the picture in question to add to her board. Now that she was by herself, she was able to look at the pictures with more attention. She was looking at one of Lucía where she was posing in front of the Eiffel Tower, the sunset bathing her olive skin and hazel hair in a golden light. She looked breathtaking. 

“Is that  _ your  _ assistant?” Therese heard Carol ask from behind her, making her jump.

“You scared me,” whispered Therese, turning around with a hand on her chest. She looked up to Carol who was standing right next to her, her eyes on the computer screen. 

“Is she?” Carol inquired again wrapping her free arm across her stomach as she looked down at the brunette sitting on the floor by her feet. 

“Yes, that’s her,” replied Therese, closing the picture she had opened. She turned around one more time to look at Carol who still had her eyes glued to the screen. “What’s wrong?”

“You forgot to mention that she is  _ very  _ attractive.”

“What? What do you mean?” Therese asked, trying to keep a straight face. She knew exactly what was going on. Carol was clearly having a jealous moment which Therese found extremely cute and she wasn’t going to ruin it just yet.

“You know what I mean, Therese. You can’t deny that she’s attractive,” Carol uttered in an exasperated tone. 

“And? She’s my assistant, that’s all,” she answered nonchalantly.

“So why are you following her then?”

“Because she told me about her trips around the world so I wanted to check them out. I’m only interested in the pictures. They are very good.  _ Extremely  _ good.”

“Maybe you should travel with her then...”

“What are you trying to imply, Carol? Are you jealous?” 

“Of course not!” Carol objected as she furrowed her brows. “I mean if her pictures are  _ really  _ that good then—”

“Enough,” blurted out Therese at the same time that she closed her computer screen. She pushed herself up and stood up inches away from Carol.

She stared into Carol's eyes for a few seconds before she firmly grabbed the blonde by the hips and began to push her back towards the couch, never breaking eye contact. The blonde let out a gasp when the back of her legs hit the couch. Therese carefully pushed her until the blonde fell on the couch behind her. The brunette quickly straddled the blonde’s lap and wrapped her arms around Carol’s neck. She could feel the tension between them starting to build, the blonde’s eyes tinted with a mixture of excitement and surprise. Carol placed her free hand on Therese’s lower back and pushed her closer to her. Next, Therese bent forward until she was barely inches away from the blonde’s face. She held her breath so she could feel Carol’s warm one tickling on her lips. For a couple of heartbeats, Therese didn’t move and continued to stare into those darkened eyes. When Carol moved forward to meet Therese’s lips, the brunette pushed back avoiding contact. Therese was still feeling the residual effects from the alcohol she had had just a couple of hours before, making her feel in control of the situation. She bent forward once again but this time she buried her face in Carol’s neck, taking a moment to smell the blonde’s natural scent that drew Therese mad. She traced the tip of her nose along the neck drawing lazy figures before she let her tongue out and began to taste her. Next, she started with soft kisses that soon became opened mouthed the more she approached the blonde’s jawline. The depth of the kisses grew together with Carol’s breathing which was joined by weak whimpers. Therese made her way across the blonde’s jawline until she reached her ear. She took Carol’s earlobe in her mouth and carefully pulled from it with her teeth making the blonde moan in response. Therese released the piece of flesh to place her mouth to Carol’s ear.

“Are you jealous?” she asked in a deep, sexy voice as she pulled on Carol’s hair. 

“Yes,” breathed Carol after a couple of seconds. 

With that answer, Therese sat back up and gave the blonde a wide smile before she stood up leaving Carol completely surprised. 

“Therese… I— I need more—,” she struggled to voice as she stretched her hand trying to reach for Therese’s hand. 

Therese took a step back.

“Then earn it,” she replied with a wicked smile on her face before she turned around and left Carol on the couch in absolute frustration. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there my loves! Sorry for the long break. I haven't been feeling mentally well enough to write. But here I am, back with a long chapter that I hope you enjoyed. I had fun writing this one and have Therese going out of the house for a bit (I had to remind myself that they aren't in lockdown like most of us are!).
> 
> For those who wanted to see jealous Carol, this one is for you. I hope I did you right :) And GO THERESE! right?  
The last line from Therese was inspired by Miss Olivia Pope from Scandal (in case there are fellow fans reading ;)
> 
> Thank you Ansi for your photography knowledge and helping me with it, as well as beta reading. 
> 
> As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments. Your words encourage me. These ain't easy times. Continue to take care!


	25. Chapter 25

Hello everyone.

I'm very sad to inform you that I've decided to stop writing. I'm not doing well at the moment. I'm struggling with a lot of things and lately I've been feeling the same about writing. I've been feeling drained, empty and sad after posting and it's not helping my mental health.

I put so much time, and effort, and love into this. As you know already, English isn't my first language so it can get hard to write sometimes, having to check for phrases, words, meanings, translating ideas... Plus all the research I do to write about topics or stuff that I don't know much about (photography, medical stuff, NYC locations, etc). It's a lot of effort that I'm putting right now while I'm not doing well, and even though I try hard, it never feels good enough.

I want to thank every one of you for taking the time to read all through these chapters. And a special and heartwarming thank you to those who made me feel the love and support through your comments, for letting me know what you liked and what you hoped to see next. For paying attention to the images and music I put with love, or just letting me know how my words had impacted you. All of that helped me when I wasn't sure about the next step to take.

I don't know when I'll be back, so I just wanted to let you know what's going on to not keep you waiting in vain. This is not how I want to leave the story, but it's what I need to do right now. I'm very sorry for not being able to hold a space for you anymore. Thank you again for everything. My email is somewhere here so feel free to reach out if you wish so. Stay safe 💕

PA: please continue to support your authors. Show them love, motivate them to keep going. We're humans after all, not machines ❤️


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